(no subject)
Getting emo again.
It's awkward. I usually don't like it. And right now I don't.
More and more I find myself unattractive. I mean, my own boyfriend wont sleep with me. SLEEP. That's it. And that gets me down quite a bit.
I know Shooting Stars and holding your breath under bridges and Wishing Wells and all that shit don't do anything, but I'm a dreamer.
And last night really kicked me in the ass. Lol.
It's just not going to happen.
Pah. I know I can't rely on those. It's just one of those things that make me happy. It's weird.
And I'm usually happy. Believe it or not.
You know, I only saw Steven twice last week? Well, for the first time in months, he picked me up and we slept on Monday, but after that was Dodgeball. And then Dodgeball on Wednesday. That was it.
I tell him I miss him, he says "Aw." That's it.
I think that the fact that I don't have job is turing him farther from me. I don't know why, I'm just not working right now. I want a job, but... I don't know.
And even if I had a goddamn job, that wouldn't change my ride situation, but that's another story.
Fuck, I'm a wreck.
I'm out for now.
It's awkward. I usually don't like it. And right now I don't.
More and more I find myself unattractive. I mean, my own boyfriend wont sleep with me. SLEEP. That's it. And that gets me down quite a bit.
I know Shooting Stars and holding your breath under bridges and Wishing Wells and all that shit don't do anything, but I'm a dreamer.
And last night really kicked me in the ass. Lol.
It's just not going to happen.
Pah. I know I can't rely on those. It's just one of those things that make me happy. It's weird.
And I'm usually happy. Believe it or not.
You know, I only saw Steven twice last week? Well, for the first time in months, he picked me up and we slept on Monday, but after that was Dodgeball. And then Dodgeball on Wednesday. That was it.
I tell him I miss him, he says "Aw." That's it.
I think that the fact that I don't have job is turing him farther from me. I don't know why, I'm just not working right now. I want a job, but... I don't know.
And even if I had a goddamn job, that wouldn't change my ride situation, but that's another story.
Fuck, I'm a wreck.
I'm out for now.