Managing the Monsters
I've been struggling to keep it together with Ethan for several weeks now. He's very whiny, tantrumy, and just generally disagreeable. I know what the right things to do are, but it's difficult for me to keep calm and positive with him when he's constantly interrupting some other task I need to accomplish. So today, I did an experiment. Just for today, I ignored everything else. Laundry, carpet stains, spilled crackers, knitting, television, whatever. If it wasn't Ethan or Colin, it didn't exist. I sat on the floor with Colin in my lap and got out Ethan's new sketch book and colored with them. Colin held a crayon and scribbled erratically a little, and Ethan wrote his name (!), and numbers 1 through 6 before asking for help. Color me impressed! They're both napping peacefully now, giving me time to do the things I ignored this morning. There were no tantrums, no fights, no flinging of toys, and no horrible scream-fests. Even when I told Ethan it wasn't his turn to nurse, he just said, "Ok Mommy" and climbed off of my lap calmly. Amazing. Evidently all he needed was more time with Mommy paying attention to him and only him. He was even okay with sharing space with Colin in my lap, which has lately been the cause of LOTS of tantrums. So the house looks like crap on a cracker, but my kids are happy and calm. As far as I'm concerned, this is an absolutely fair trade. When Ethan was born, I told myself that nothing was as important as the time I had with him. I did whatever housework needed doing while he was napping, or on weekends when Kevin was home to spend time with Ethan. But by the time Colin was born, I had adjusted to Ethan playing solo most day and allowing me to keep the house much, much neater than it was when it was just baby Ethan. I had new standards for what constituted an acceptably clean house, and they just don't fit into life with a new baby. I knew that already, but I'd let it slip my mind. So friends, when you come visit, please don't blow me too much shit about the level of cleanliness in my house. I'm trying to keep up, I really am, it's just that there are more important things than vacuuming right now. Don't worry, it'll get done. :)