In the week ahead
I am so torn about this trip to New York.
On one hand, I look at how it's an incredibly once in a lifetime opportunity. I think of all the wonderful, powerful people I will be hobnobbing with. Shallow, yes, but I'm exited nonetheless. I'm excited that this time, due to my position at the CMA, I will be treated as somewhat of an insider. At least higher than the the retarded pile of shit I've been assumed to be at other events.
I'm excited to see Jordan again. It's amazing how three years have flown by. I wonder if he's still capable of understanding me more than anybody else, and if not, then who will. And Keith Urban is icing on any cake.
Also this week, I should hear back from Universal South Management. My dream job could become my dream internship which may lead back to dream job. I find out if the Dean will allow me to take the course load required to graduate in August. Other monumental events may occur. I just don't know.
All this uncertainty is really chipping at me. I'm paranoid that I'm not prepared mentally, emotionally, physically, academically, or any other adverb for what's coming. What if I'm not this strong brick wall that I think I've become? I've got some huge weaknesses to face in the next 10 days, and this is not the time for me to crumble.
On one hand, I look at how it's an incredibly once in a lifetime opportunity. I think of all the wonderful, powerful people I will be hobnobbing with. Shallow, yes, but I'm exited nonetheless. I'm excited that this time, due to my position at the CMA, I will be treated as somewhat of an insider. At least higher than the the retarded pile of shit I've been assumed to be at other events.
I'm excited to see Jordan again. It's amazing how three years have flown by. I wonder if he's still capable of understanding me more than anybody else, and if not, then who will. And Keith Urban is icing on any cake.
Also this week, I should hear back from Universal South Management. My dream job could become my dream internship which may lead back to dream job. I find out if the Dean will allow me to take the course load required to graduate in August. Other monumental events may occur. I just don't know.
All this uncertainty is really chipping at me. I'm paranoid that I'm not prepared mentally, emotionally, physically, academically, or any other adverb for what's coming. What if I'm not this strong brick wall that I think I've become? I've got some huge weaknesses to face in the next 10 days, and this is not the time for me to crumble.