(no subject)
I've been trying not to randomly burst into tears all day.
Seriously, though, I have about eighty million stream-of-consciousness-type things I want to say about it that I don't even know where to start.
I was worried I wouldn't like Ten. And then, when I started to like him (a lot a lot a lot) I was worried I'd stop liking Nine. But, mostly, he's just different. Not bad or good, just different, which is the point, right? I like that there are things about him that remind me of Nine, that remind me that they're the same person, but there are things about him that are so completely different. Nine was manic, Nine's emotions were always right below the surface, scratch a little and they'd all come tumbling out. Ten is so much more--I always felt like he was repressing a lot. He was much less dark than Nine, but it was still there, underneath layers and layers of protective skin. I think Ten was a lot more selfish than Nine, too, I don't think Nine would have left Rose and Mickey alone for Madame du Pompandcircumstance, and I really don't think Nine would have put that transporter thing around Rose's neck. Which, yes, I see as a selfish act on his part. Except, selfish in the way that he thinks he's being selfless, but really he's just denying and repressing his real emotions. But I don't think that's necessarily a bad thing.
I love how everything was so beautifully foreshadowed throughout the whole season, almost so that you'd miss it if you didn't know what you were looking for. Yes, I was spoiled for Rose getting stuck in another dimension, and yes, I wish I hadn't been, but it made the whole viewing experience a different thing for me that maybe I wouldn't want to trade. Everything, all those happy little moments between the Doctor and Rose, all the jokes and little glances and that moment I really wished the Doctor would have leaned down and kissed the top of Rose's hair to comfort her, they were all tinged with this overriding, bittersweet sadness, because I knew there could be no happy ending for Rose. I can't stand that she had to be left behind that way...but really, it was all there, she'd been given the warnings. Your time with the Doctor is short, and then you move on and make something better of your life. I kept coming back to John and D'Argo in the Look at the Princess triology, when D'Argo tells him that maybe Moya wasn't his true destiny, that Katralla and ruling the people on that planet was. But even that came down to choice and the fact that John was stripped of his ability to decide, and that's what made the situation inherently wrong. Rose didn't get to decide, and I hate that, but like Steph was saying to me last night, there really wasn't any other way to separate the two of them. Rose would always choose the Doctor over everything else she's ever known and loved.
And the Doctor. Ohhh, my poor sweet sad little Doctor. I can't even talk about it. I tried to rewatch the scene in School Reunion where he tells Rose that he's not going to leave her behind, and I really really couldn't get through it. And the look of pure terror on his face right before Rose's grip on the lever slipped, gah, yeah I have to stop. The thing is, it's not even just about him losing Rose. He's lost companions before, and he'll lose them again, and I'm not even sure I believe there was anything any more special about their relationship than he's had before (though my 'shipper heart would like to believe it). It's the sum total of loss he's dealt with in his endless life, he'll always end up completely and utterly alone, and yet. And yet, he keeps going back for more, meeting new people, making new connections. It's so human. And I'm really going to stop now if I'm hoping to avoid the sniffles for the rest of the afternoon.
There's a lot of stuff about this season I loved--like warming up to, and beginning to completely adore, some of the other characters. I never really cared about Jackie or Mickey until this season, and now I love Mickey so much I don't know why I didn't see it before. I'm glad Rose at least gets him, because even though she'll never be happy with him the way he wants her to be, he'll still always love her and be there for her in whatever way she'll let him. I'm a sucker for that kind of thing, what can I say?
I want to watch it again and again. I want to watch the happy parts again, but the happy parts just make me sadder. It's weird how that happens.
This show makes me miss being an English major. What I wouldn't give to hash that out in a room full of English-y kids. Also, I need a Doomsday Rose icon, like, five hours ago. I should get on that.
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Other things. My weekend was mostly uneventful, except I went to see the Violent Femmes in Baltimore on Friday night, which was all kinds of awesome. They had a tuba soloist, which, totally cool. Also, they played Please Do Not Go, which I know was one of their more popular singles so of course they would, but it's my favorite, so suck it, Turk.
Today, it's rainy and cold outside, which is good because we need it and I'm sick of the humidity, but bad because it's rainy and cold outside. Ashley and I are going to visit Aster for a bit tonight, which should be fun and relaxing, and then I may come home and settle in with some of the Doctor Who Confidentials.
Next weekend was supposed to be my vacation, which kinda blows. I really want to get up to Boston before it gets too cold. Hopefully right in the middle of autumn, before the leaves all fall. Next weekend, however, is the Busch Gardens trip, and I'm really starting to look forward to it. I hope it's cool enough for sweatshirts by then. I miss my sweatshirts. And do you know how long it's been since I could just bum around somewhere in jeans and my chucks? Plus, there's the whole rollercoasters-hotel-with-friends-dinner-and-swimming thing, too. ;)
I have to pee.