(no subject)
It was over, ever since you went and shot me
Like a harpoon
Like a harpoon
Like a harpoon in my heart....
i dont know how it happened. i dont know how i managed to fuck things up so much. but i did, and im always going to have that in the back of my mind. i was happiest with him than ive ever been with someone. i was more comfortable with him that i have been with anyone else. and now its over, and i cant even say why. he didnt tell me. a few days ago he said he loved me. and now hes verging on hating me. i dont know what to do. i dont know where to turn. i dont know how to be happy again. i cant see him till after new years cause he wants time away from me. and then he might just turn around and tell me he cant be friends with me. and im just going to sit around and wait for that. because i dont want to lose him. and i cant hate him as horrible as he's being to me. i just have to sit back and take it. because i want him to badly. i dont know why he wants to throw it all away. i dont know how he can say the shit he is saying. im trying so hard to make everythign right and he doesnt even want to try. but im so pathetic that im just gonna keep on trying. even though i know im setting myself up for a big bundle of rejection. but thats all i can do. i love him and he cant even look at me anymore. i dont understand what the fuck ive done wrong. i cant beleive i let the best thing in my life go and there is absolutely nothing i can do to fix things.
fuck im an idiot
fuck im stupid
FUCK I HATE MYSELF.
fuck. i just realised i dont blame him for any of this.
who the fuck would want to be with a person like me.
fuck..
Like a harpoon
Like a harpoon
Like a harpoon in my heart....
i dont know how it happened. i dont know how i managed to fuck things up so much. but i did, and im always going to have that in the back of my mind. i was happiest with him than ive ever been with someone. i was more comfortable with him that i have been with anyone else. and now its over, and i cant even say why. he didnt tell me. a few days ago he said he loved me. and now hes verging on hating me. i dont know what to do. i dont know where to turn. i dont know how to be happy again. i cant see him till after new years cause he wants time away from me. and then he might just turn around and tell me he cant be friends with me. and im just going to sit around and wait for that. because i dont want to lose him. and i cant hate him as horrible as he's being to me. i just have to sit back and take it. because i want him to badly. i dont know why he wants to throw it all away. i dont know how he can say the shit he is saying. im trying so hard to make everythign right and he doesnt even want to try. but im so pathetic that im just gonna keep on trying. even though i know im setting myself up for a big bundle of rejection. but thats all i can do. i love him and he cant even look at me anymore. i dont understand what the fuck ive done wrong. i cant beleive i let the best thing in my life go and there is absolutely nothing i can do to fix things.
fuck im an idiot
fuck im stupid
FUCK I HATE MYSELF.
fuck. i just realised i dont blame him for any of this.
who the fuck would want to be with a person like me.
fuck..