Today and Every Day
A few words on youth and beauty:
So I’m sitting at work today, tittering with my coworkers over Lindsay Lohan’s tits in the latest issue of InTouch magazine, when my eyes are accosted by the unshaven, curly-haired mess that is Patrick AufDenKamp, a poisonous, odious queen I went to elementary and high school with. Apparently he and Little Miss Can’t-Be-Wrong frequent the party par-tay circuit together. Besides making me check my At-a-Glance for an eye appointment, (I’m sure I’ll need Lasik to correct the heinous image of Patricia that’s been burned into my retinas) seeing his picture in InTouch magazine made me confront some fears I have about society in general.
When did being young begin to equate with being beautiful? I understand that youth obsession has long been a Hollywood plague, but when did the worship of young people morph into this uncontrollable need for youth? An eighteen year old boy with bad skin, a receding chin and rat’s-nest-hair has absolutely no appeal to anyone with any real common sense, and yet, it worked just fine for Leonardo diCaprio. Uma Thurman looks like Mr Ed married E.T. and she was their one-and-only... yet by most standards today, she is beautiful.
I reject this need for youth. I am enjoying my youth. There’s things I would change, others I wouldn’t, and I have to agree that even if I’d use Photoshop’s “enhance” tool on several of my features given the choice, I believe that I am a pretty decent-looking lad, due mostly to my 19 years age. I’ve compiled a selection of shocking facts. These are some celebrities and their ages, I challenge you to find one that isn’t even the slightest bit shocking.
Farrah Fawcett (of the original Charlie’s Angels, circa 1975), 57
Christie Brinkley (supermodel), 50
Brigitte Bardot (French sex symbol), 69
Pamela Anderson (Baywatch babe, Barb Wire), 37
Rosanna Arquette (Comedic actress, documentarian), 44
Kim Basinger (Batman vixen), 50
Justine Bateman (Mallory Keaton from Family Ties), 38
Sandra Bullock (actress, TV/film producer),40
Emma Bunton (BABY Spice), 28
Jill Clayburgh (80s Bollywood star), 59
Carmen Electra (Slut), 33
Calista Flockhart (TV’s Ally McBeal), 39 (dating Harrison Ford, 56)
Jane Fonda (actress, workout queen, exwife of Ted Turner, who’s now married to a teenager) 66
Daryl Hannah (actress, Kill Bill Vol 1&2), 43
Goldie Hawn, (Hollywood B-Movie Icon), 58
Nicole Kidman (Oscar-winning Actress, exwife of Tom Cruise, linked to Penelope Cruz, 29) 37
Sarah Jessica Parker (Emmy-winning Actress, “Sex and the City), 39
Susan Sarandon (Actress, Stepmom) 57
Julia Sawalha (Actress, “Absolutely Fabulous”) 35
Brooke Shields, (Calvin Klein Model, Actress, TV Producer, Mom) 39
Suzanne Somers (Actress “Three’s Company,” Diet/exercise pitchwoman), 57
Scary shit, isn’t it?
-dustin.
”Youth is beauty, Money is Beauty, Beauty is Beauty sometimes, it’s the luck of the draw, it’s a natural law, it’s a joke, it’s a crime.
So I’m sitting at work today, tittering with my coworkers over Lindsay Lohan’s tits in the latest issue of InTouch magazine, when my eyes are accosted by the unshaven, curly-haired mess that is Patrick AufDenKamp, a poisonous, odious queen I went to elementary and high school with. Apparently he and Little Miss Can’t-Be-Wrong frequent the party par-tay circuit together. Besides making me check my At-a-Glance for an eye appointment, (I’m sure I’ll need Lasik to correct the heinous image of Patricia that’s been burned into my retinas) seeing his picture in InTouch magazine made me confront some fears I have about society in general.
When did being young begin to equate with being beautiful? I understand that youth obsession has long been a Hollywood plague, but when did the worship of young people morph into this uncontrollable need for youth? An eighteen year old boy with bad skin, a receding chin and rat’s-nest-hair has absolutely no appeal to anyone with any real common sense, and yet, it worked just fine for Leonardo diCaprio. Uma Thurman looks like Mr Ed married E.T. and she was their one-and-only... yet by most standards today, she is beautiful.
I reject this need for youth. I am enjoying my youth. There’s things I would change, others I wouldn’t, and I have to agree that even if I’d use Photoshop’s “enhance” tool on several of my features given the choice, I believe that I am a pretty decent-looking lad, due mostly to my 19 years age. I’ve compiled a selection of shocking facts. These are some celebrities and their ages, I challenge you to find one that isn’t even the slightest bit shocking.
Farrah Fawcett (of the original Charlie’s Angels, circa 1975), 57
Christie Brinkley (supermodel), 50
Brigitte Bardot (French sex symbol), 69
Pamela Anderson (Baywatch babe, Barb Wire), 37
Rosanna Arquette (Comedic actress, documentarian), 44
Kim Basinger (Batman vixen), 50
Justine Bateman (Mallory Keaton from Family Ties), 38
Sandra Bullock (actress, TV/film producer),40
Emma Bunton (BABY Spice), 28
Jill Clayburgh (80s Bollywood star), 59
Carmen Electra (Slut), 33
Calista Flockhart (TV’s Ally McBeal), 39 (dating Harrison Ford, 56)
Jane Fonda (actress, workout queen, exwife of Ted Turner, who’s now married to a teenager) 66
Daryl Hannah (actress, Kill Bill Vol 1&2), 43
Goldie Hawn, (Hollywood B-Movie Icon), 58
Nicole Kidman (Oscar-winning Actress, exwife of Tom Cruise, linked to Penelope Cruz, 29) 37
Sarah Jessica Parker (Emmy-winning Actress, “Sex and the City), 39
Susan Sarandon (Actress, Stepmom) 57
Julia Sawalha (Actress, “Absolutely Fabulous”) 35
Brooke Shields, (Calvin Klein Model, Actress, TV Producer, Mom) 39
Suzanne Somers (Actress “Three’s Company,” Diet/exercise pitchwoman), 57
Scary shit, isn’t it?
-dustin.
”Youth is beauty, Money is Beauty, Beauty is Beauty sometimes, it’s the luck of the draw, it’s a natural law, it’s a joke, it’s a crime.