if the damned gave you a road map you would know which way to go.
school is scary, difficult, and somewhat uphappy.
whats scarier, more difficult, and inspires more unhappiness is the prospect of not being able to come back here.
i know that my british lit teacher hates me, which would be fine because i cant stand her and she is a horrible little midgit woman, but she is completely grading me down and it pisses me off so much because she denied it when i tried to talk about my grades with her.
then there is my american lit teacher, who is the head of the english department, and who is known for being a horrible grader, and who refuses to give me anything higher than an 89. its unfair that american lit is my best and favorite subject and im getting a b in it.
my psych class is being taught by a very disagreeable teacher who doesnt ever know what shes talking about, says uncomfortable things in class, doesnt know how to pronounce or spell anything, and happens to teach the class at which i am the worst. my 70 on the first test is, thank god, outweighed by the 87 on the second test and the millions of points worth of extra credit that i intend on doing, starting tonight.
for modern political thought, i have a really funny, smart, and goodlooking teacher who teaches his class in a pretty challenging way, and that showed in the 70 on my first paper. but last night, i made myself really happy when i got a 95 on the second paper, which was the best grade that i saw for the whole class ... so that story might end happily.
lastly, my italian class is SO much harder this semester. my teacher takes it way more seriously and grades much harder. somehow, i am pulling off an a- right now, but that can all change very, very easily.
and those are my classes for this semester.
work is okay, and i always have twice as much homework as everyone else in the suite.
or so it seems.
i just feel like im never around to make connections.
and my mum is thoroughly scaring me about next year.
and secretly tempting me, too.
it would be lovely to commute to BC and live at home.
but i cant ever make that an option for myself.
i just want to study abroad and not think about anything else but going to rome with christina and jen and a million people who will be my friends by the end of my time there.
but, over all, things have been a little bit better here.
and my sister is coming to visit next week.
and andrea and erika had BETTER come visit because they promised and they are severely running out of time.
and im lonely.
my phone broke.
its been really, really hard.
and maybe that makes me spoiled.
but i dont know how to cope when i cant talk to home.
its bad enough not being able to get in my car and drive there when i need to.
and i guess that that is my life, right now.
boring, uneventful, and not really worth the read.
but i want to start writing a book.
so thats something, anyway.