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Burn It Down: A Mutant-X Havok/Magma fanmix
Covers:
So far he couldn't figure out what made her so special. The elemental ability wasn't anything super extraordinary given his own power. Then again, maybe that was why Erik wanted to train her--she had a heat based power too. "Fire, huh?" he asked, glancing at Amara now. The mental image of her controlling flames crossed his mind, and even without having ever actually seen it Alex knew it would be a memorable sight.
He walked up to her, hesitantly extending his hand--hesitant only because he got the feeling she would be jumpy--for her to shake. "They call me Havok," Alex explained. [x]
1. Hunter's Kiss // Rasputina
I have never, been like this before.
Felt my body sinking, to the grassy floor.
No I have never, known a love like this.
Love the flaming arrows, of the hunter’s kiss.
No I have never felt like this before.
Never felt my body sinking to the earth’s grassy floor.
Now I know I have never known a love like this.
Never felt the flaming arrows of the lonely hunter’s kiss.
"This isn't how it works!" he insisted. "I'm Havok. I own people, not the other fucking way around! I destroy lives effortlessly! I helped Erik destroy Sebastian Shaw! I single-handily took down William Stryker! I survived a psychic blast from Phoenix that would have kept anyone else in a hospital for the rest of their life, and I woke up in a week! And the things she fucking showed me! No one else could have walked away from that sane, but I did!"
"I am second only to Magneto!" Hands moving to hold his head, once again ignoring the pain in his shoulder, and god it was even bleeding now but he didn't care, he closed his eyes. "I can't do this. I can't..." [x]
2. Your Heart Is An Empty Room // Death Cab For Cutie
Burn it down till the embers smoke on the ground
And start new when your heart is an empty room
With walls of the deepest blue
Home's face: how it ages when you're away
Spring blooms and you find the love that's true
But you don't know what now to do
Cause the chase is all you know
And she stopped running months ago
He knelt down beside her, bringing a hand up to hold her face in uncharacteristic gentleness. And then he brought his hand back and smacked her face as hard he could. "Don't you ever fucking do that again!" Alex snapped. "Don't you--" He paused, as if trying to think of what to say, and leaned down to kiss her instead.
Her face was still heated, flames moving along the surface of her skin, but he didn't give a damn. At this rate it didn't bother him. Nibbling on her bottom lip roughly, he tore his mouth away enough to tell her darkly, "Turn it off. You won't be sorry." Who the fuck cared about Lorna? Amara was here and naked and...here. [x]
3. How Soon Is Now? // The Smiths
I am the son
And the heir
Of a shyness that is criminally vulgar
I am the son and heir
Of nothing in particular
You shut your mouth
How can you say
I go about things the wrong way
I am Human and I need to be loved
Just like everybody else does
He kissed her until they needed to breathe, and then he kissed her for a few seconds more before finally breaking his mouth away to gasp for air. "There are so many things I want to fucking do to you," he whispered, nipping at her mouth.
"We're going to keep doing this," Alex added, and it wasn't a question so much as a statement. "You and I, we're going to keep meeting to fuck each other up, because it's something entirely ours." It was a given that Lorna could never know, because her heartbreak would no doubt anger Erik, but Alex actually preferred it this way--secret. [x]
4. What It Is To Burn // Finch
She burns
Today's on fire
The sky is bleeding above me, and I am blistered
I walk these lines of blasphemy, every day
And still:
Like a bad star, I'm falling faster down to her
She's the only one who knows, what it is to burn
Alex moved his lips against her neck to kiss her gently, whispering, Ich denke, dass ich in der Liebe mit ihr bin." He spoke the words in German, because Amara probably wouldn't understand it, and yet he needed to say them aloud, needed to acknowledge what he was feeling to her here because he could never say it once he got home. [x]
5. Fear // Sarah McLachlan
Wind in time
rapes the flower trembling on the vine
nothing yields to shelter it
from above
they say temptation will destroy our love
the never ending hunger
but I fear
I have nothing to give
I have so much to lose
here in this lonely place
tangled up in our embrace
there's nothing I'd like
better than to fall
"I don't know how to be anyone else," Alex realized. "And the world will move on, the soldiers will retire their weapons, and Erik will lead us in peace, but I can't just turn off this need to...to, I don't know how to explain it." The need to kill, to always be fighting, never sitting still because sitting still got you killed, or worse gave you a chance to care, which made you weak, and oh god he was headed down that road already. If Erik knew how much she already meant to him, his punishment would have been much worse, because at the end of the day--if Alex was honest with himself--he'd hesitated in saving the other student to be sure Amara had someone to fight at her side. He could have saved the kid, but he hadn't.
He wondered if she had noticed. Or cared. [x]
6. You Were On Fire // Keren Ann
I never seen you clear before
I never heard you cry
My blinded heart is washed ashore
My innocence gone dry
And I wish I had more patience
There are things I can't reverse
I don't know why you were so threatened by the entire universe
And no one's ever saved you
You only saw him bleed
And his sorrow misbehaved you
To avenge and not to plead
But out here there is no other
Whose seen you broken down
Barren, blameless for your lover
Bold and fearless for the crowd
You were on fire
Tainted in the sun
You ran against the raging wind
Decadent and drunken with desire
Fooling the love of everyone
Your reverence in flames
Your eyes were golden and awake
You were on fire
Alex reached over to take her face into his hands, just looking at her for a moment, and the way he looked at her it was almost as if he was really seeing her for the first time. And what he saw made him both sad and happy all at once because she was so beautiful, so close, and yet so ultimately out of reach for so many reasons. "You can't ever not be a part of my life," he told her quietly. [x]
7. Ava Adore // The Smashing Pumkins
You’ll be a lover in my bed
And a gun to my head
We must never be apart
We must never be apart
Lovely girl
You’re the murder in my world
Dressing coffins for the souls I’ve left to die
Drinking mercury
To the mystery of all that you should ever leave behind
In time
In you I see dirty
In you I count stars
In you I feel so pretty
In you I taste god
In you I feel so hungry
In you I crash cars
We must never be apart
It took all of her compromised brain power not to raise the tranq gun and shoot him where he sat. "...how did we even get on this subject, something we've previously seen doesn't end well. But you know what, I don't care. I don't let him do anything. We have a rather equitable relationship. We both get what we want. And as for...her, she's Erik's daughter. I know he cares for me, deeply, but...I am not blood. If Lorna were to ask...he'd put a stop to this." This thing that was technically already stopped, if yesterday was to be believed, and the silver on her wrists told her it was, but what had just happened...that was not stopped. "I don't have an answer, yes or no, because I don't ask. What is...is." [x]
8. Good Enough // Evanescence
Under your spell again.
I can't say no to you.
Crave my heart and it's bleeding in your hand.
I can't say no to you.
Shouldn't let you torture me so sweetly.
Now I can't let go of this dream.
I can't breathe but I feel...
Good enough,
I feel good enough for you.
She wrapped her arms around him, crying silently. Holding him like this, containment plate up against her abdomen, it felt like home. "Yeah?" she asked, sniffling a little, wiping at her eyes and pulling back a little.
"You don't have to do it alone. We'll...we'll do it together. Him and I...it's right if we do it together." [x]
9. Tell Them She's Not Scared // Envy On The Coast
Wake, wake, wake her
From this sea of white linens and
Extract the drugs from her dreams
And sew her seams with delicateness,
'Cause beneath her chest sits the heart that I live for,
You'd kill for,
The angels would die for.
And with a subtle wink and a flutter of wings,
They whispered,
They whispered...
I'll hold your tears as a ransom
Within the palm of my hand
And tell you once again
Don't tell me that you're scared
"That's not it at all," he insisted, though how could he argue her point? The timing was off, and he knew what it looked like, but it just wasn't the case.
For once.
No this time he really meant it, and it was probably too late. "Baby, something happened to me over there," he explained, trying to reach for her hand again to get her to stand still and just look at him. "I realized how important you are to me. I realized how yours I am, and I just wanted to get back to you."
"Amara, please," he practically begged. "Please, trust me on this." [x]
10. Now It's Done // Straylight Run
Keep a tight grip like a child holding onto a swing set,
Waiting and hoping to find what I can't figure out yet,
Please don't unless this is something to me,
Another nightmare instead of a dream,
Better left alone,
Holding onto the phone,
Holding onto this glass,
Holding onto the memory of what didn't last.
Waiting for better words,
They'll never come.
So dry your eyes,
Its better,
Now it's done...
I never lost so much...
"Lorna's dead," he explained, his tone casual even if his eyes showed the sorrow there. "Amara wants nothing to do with me, Erik destroyed the Wolverine, half the Guthries are dead, Ben doesn't have all ten fingers any more, and I just spent the last couple of weeks in an alternate universe where my brother was actually still alive!" Alex was yelling now, not caring if he caught someone's attention. "So please, explain to me which fucking side I should be taking, or why I shouldn't take one?" [x]
11. Avalanche // Thea Gilmore
There's a language in the sky
There are bones
Hiding under the viaduct
Sweeping down by the railway line
Making wagers with the day
There's a rumour
Dirty as a chimneystack
Quiet as roadkill
On the northbound carriageway
And who's gonna raise a hand
When all we were taught to do is dance
Who'll be able to stand after this avalanche
Well, they sold you
Back your outrage
In a neat little shrink wrap
And a beautiful face and you think
You've found your purpose
Well, they've been trailing the breadcrumbs
Of a water-tight case
So you're shouting
You're shouting softly
So no one can hear you
And get the wrong idea
But behind
The closing eye of the tabloids
We will be waiting
And we'll say it clearly
How did he explain it to Erik? How did he save himself from the wrath he deserved for both being weak enough to fall in love with Amara, and foolish enough to be jealous of Erik's hold over her? The worst Erik could do to him wasn't even kill him. Alex knew better than most.
But he couldn't lie to Erik
"I love her," he explained quietly. "I love her the way you loved him." Comparing what he felt for Amara to what Erik had felt for Charles was risky, would probably end in torture or pain or even worse--disappointment--but Alex wasn't quite sure how else to explain it.
Still under the impression that Erik knew he'd meant Amara--and really it was his fault for not clarifying, wasn't it?--Alex took a step back away from Erik instinctively. "Don't worry," he commented quietly, practically cringing at Erik's tone. "She chose you." [x]
12. Blinding // Florence and The Machine
No more dreaming of the dead as if death itself was undone
No more calling like a crow for a boy, for a body in the garden
No more dreaming like a girl so in love, so in love
No more dreaming like a girl so in love, so in love
No more dreaming like a girl so in love with the wrong world
And I could hear the thunder and see the lightning crack
All around the world was waking, I never could go back
Cos all the walls of dreaming, they were torn right open
And finally it seemed that the spell was broken
"Life is pain," he agreed. "Maybe I didn't choose you first right away, and that was a mistake, I'll fucking admit that, but I'm paying for it now. I'm not allowed to leave. I don't have that option anymore, and I'm never fucking running from this family again. So I get to stick around and see you and know that you're with him. You have no fucking idea how difficult it was for me to admit to you how I feel. I came back for you, not for this," he motioned around the room to indicate the mansion, "and now I have nothing. Because you were it. You were the fucking reason to deal with those pathetic people over there and survive their goddamn excuse for a world."
How was she supposed to know that he was trying to get back to her. It had never been her, would never be her. "This isn't my fucking fault, Alex. Why the fuck would I ever think that you'd want me? Huh? No one ever fucking wants me, not even him, but where the fuck else am I supposed to go? I have nothing else. My parents are dead, I can't leave this fucking country because I was brought here illegally and therefore have no paperwork to get out. What else am I supposed to do but cut my losses and pick my second choice?"
Alex wasn't sure he had heard her correctly at first, but then he realized how fucking stupid this entire argument was because they felt the same things for each other. She was angry with him for not choosing her first. The reason this wasn't working was because of him, not her.
He reached forward to take hold of her hand gently in his, and then he knelt down, just as he had in the cemetery, but this time he knew what she wanted, what she needed from him. It was something he never gave anyone else, not even Erik, but she deserved it. He apologized and meant it.
"I am so sorry," he told her quietly, his tone genuine and his gaze focused on her. "I took you for granted from day one, and you deserved so much better. I have no right to expect anything from you, but if you'll allow it, I still want to be a part of your life somehow. Maybe someday we can even be friends?" It was going to fucking kill him, being around her but not with her, but this was what she wanted. She wanted someone who had made her priority since the beginning, and how could he fault her in that? [x]
13. Apology (acoustic) // Alesana
Sweat drips in my eyes (you’re everything)
Screams of lust we cry (you’re everything)
Tonight, you are everything (you’re everything)
You’re everything to me
No more as I wake
From this perfect dream
I can not stay down
Live this lie for I
Now must think only of myself
And to think that you will not be
Scared or surprised I severed
All these ties (this is the end)
This is the end
I’ll lose myself in anguish
For tonight (this is the end)
Help me get over you (I feel so numb)
"No matter what happens," he told her quietly, eyes catching her gaze, "I'm yours." [x]
14. I'll Always Be Around // Brighten
Because I don’t wanna sleep at all
But you’ll try to sleep it off
And darling I, I can’t slow down
Don’t know why I do the things I do
But I’ll always be around.
You’ll dream of me love
Walking on your roof
Climb through the window, live up on the moon
Where we walk among the stars
And where know what’s here is ours
Cause I made it all for you
He kissed her gently, bringing a hand up to hold her face before he pulled his lips away. Face near hers, he nudged her face gently with his nose. "I wish things were simple," he whispered, moving his hand up to brush his fingers through her hair softly. "You and me--especially you--we deserve simple." [x]
15. Dismantle. Repair. // Anberlin
I am the patron saint of lost causes
A fraction of who I once believed
only a matter of time
Opinions I would try and rewrite
If life had background music playing your song
I've got to be honest, I tried to escape you
But the orchestra plays on, and they sang
Oh oh, things are gonna change now for the better
Oh oh, things are gonna change
[Chorus 2x]
Hands, like secrets, are the hardest thing to keep from you
Lines and phrases, like knives, your words can cut me through
Dismantle me down
You dismantle me
ZIP