picspam: my top five femslash ships that i CAN picspam (for femslash_land)
For team_crossover at femslash_land, my top five femslash ships that 1) shared actual scenes together and 2) I will die shipping even if a lot of femslash fandom sucks and thinks I'm lame for not following the rest of the femslash ducks in a row, yo.
Bianca Montgomery and Maggie Stone, All My Children
"I need you to leave."
"Bianca, you're in danger and I am worried sick about you so ask me anything but do not ask me to leave you."
You guys have heard my rage before.
Years. We waited years, and then got we fucked over and then Bianca's character got fucked over.
Bianca/Maggie (and Tad/Dixie and Ryan/Kendall) are why I roll my eyes at a lot of shippers who bitch and moan about how their ship doesn't wind up with everything they want because really? No. Because a lot of them got real scenes. Maybe even sex scenes. Like. A real relationship. What did we get? Bad writing that got worse, a joke of a reunion that was then scrapped (even the actress basically told us that after the dust settled and after they continued to fuck her over, she's now refused to go back to the role) and the rug pulled out under our emotional feet. Their family has basically been forgotten, their characters destroyed and the show itself utterly gutted over the last ten or so years.
I am honestly getting teary eyes of rage just thinking about it years after the fact.
Me?
I REFUSE TO LET GO OF MY LOVE.
Because look how pretty they are, and remember the rape exam and the cotton candy and the love confession.
They way they looked at each other, and touched each other, and all the years of love story.
KEEP THE BAM LOVE ALIVE, GUYS, PLEASE, ;_____________________________;
Maddie Fitzpatrick and London Tipton, The Suite Life
"But I wanted a car... that would keep all of me warm."
"I made it with my own two hands."
"It looks like you made it with your own two feet!"
"I thought you'd be happy that I put so much effort into it. You're always accusing me of being superficial."
"And you had to pick Christmas to become deep?"
No, not a joke - I ship it really fucking hard.
Yes, the girls above are from that lame Disney Channel show about the hotel and the twin brothers.
For whatever reason, these two really click for me even though, you know, it shouldn't be worthy of my attention at all, right? Because it takes a lot to write them, they're such caricatures (especially poor London although you guys already know I've got my plans for fleshing her out beyond the cartoon on the show), and yet there's still that click that allows me to love them more than most other femslash ships out there. They're very much a young Lucy and Ethel, and it's pretty effing easy to blend crack and serious shit between these two if you actually study them.
Because they are TEH CUTE, OKAY, I CAN'T EVEN. When they were singing and dancing to 'Bop to the Top,' I was all, OMG, IF I DIDN'T SHIP THEM BEFORE I WOULD NOW and once London was poor for an episode and I got all filled up with random plot bunnies about them when they inevitably meet up in five years as adults and have a whole crazy random happenstance kind of courtship. And then they totally raised a fake baby together and totally fucked it up in a very 'we're still too young to understand our unresolved sexual tension so let's fling the fake baby right out the window' kind of way and, like, really?
YOU GUYS KNOW HOW I AM, OKAY?
So much like Ben/Riley, I have many a night gone through The Pit in a desperate search for a snippet of fanfic about these two.
AND THERE'S NEVER ANYTHING.
MY HEART, YOU GUYS, IT BLEEDS FOR MY CRACKY FEMSLASH OTP.
Jill Bernhardt and Cindy Thomas, Women's Murder Club
"If we are friends, do you think you can stay until my parents get here?"
"Sure."
lol, first cap.
How much do I love how often Jill is giving Cindy various looks of curiosity and 'there may be something there that wasn't there before' through the show? (shut up, it totally works for them, but, like, in reverse, okay?)
Anyway, further proof I just do not get the Xena/Gabrielle thing 90% of the time.
Lindsay/Cindy wound up being the biggest thing since the last biggest thing in femslash but it never clicked for me, not in the way I needed. I could ship it, sort of, and I liked it when my favorite writer did something with them but between my dislike of Angie Harmon (I do not get it, AM I THE ONLY ONE WHO HAS NO INTEREST IN TAPPING THAT?) and my extreme love of LH and AD's facial expressions, it should come as no surprise which ship really wound up owning my heart.
The lawyer and the reporter.
Looking for caps reminded of how often they would immediately stand shoulder to shoulder as a united front as the series went on and how pretty they looked together. It also reminded me of just how easily I could buy these two slipping into a relationship for months before the other two members of the club found out - there's a lot of the slow hints of growing affection between them, and I buy it because the chemistry built as their connection did. Which. Like. Makes me love it more. I love that by 1x04, at the very beginning of the show Jill and Cindy are already doing that cute 'at each other's side' thing that develops more and more, and, like, IT'S CUTE, YOU GUYS, SO CUTE, I BUY IT SO MUCH, I CAN'T EVEN.
By the time Cindy was SHOT IN THE CHEST, you know, and Jill was the only one who cared enough to stay with her?
THEY OWNED ME.
So the dearth of love and fic continually breaks my heart when it comes to these two, let me tell you, ;___________;
Because, uh, dude, who's going to write the fic where Lindsay almost gets Cindy killed and Jill goes fucking crazy on her but shuts down completely towards Cindy because she's too unhinged by the trauma to trust herself around the woman she loves with her abandonment issues and Lindsay's like, WAIT, DOES THIS MEAN YOU CARE ABOUT CINDY? and Cindy is pissed off because something Jill does to "keep her safe" threatens her job and then Lindsay's like, WAIT, WAIT, DO YOU CARE ABOUT CINDY? I DON'T UNDERSTAND! and the sheer level of angst before it finally resolved itself would be incredible, I promise, you guys, DO I HAVE TO DO EVERYTHING MYSELF?
Also, I realized something while I went through caps for this picspam.
I could totally do a picspam solely devoted to these two and their habit of being the cutest thing ever in a morgue. No, really, I swear, Cindy continually is sitting in there behind Claire watching with fascination the various dead bodies on display in front of her and every time Jill walks in to this, she basically has an instant facial expression of "GOD, BABY, WHY YOU DO DIS TO ME?" when she sees her girlfriend watching the bodies like they're the coolest thing ever.
I FIND IT ADORABLE, WHAT DOES IT SAY ABOUT ME?
(i am so close to doing a 'how jill and cindy fell in love through their repeated visits to the morgue' picspam, gah)
Alice Pieszecki and Shane McCutcheon, The L Word
"I love you, Shane."
"I love you, too."
My love for these two will never die. I shipped it basically since the show started and never lost my love, ever, no matter what kind of shit Ilene pulled and, oh, THAT WOMAN.
These two channel the epitome of what makes me truly love a ship: the most sincere kind of connection, one that I can buy even if the world around them is a joke. Morgan/Reid is closest for me in regards to a non-sci-fi ship that connects the characters on this level. Out of all the piece of shit pairings on this show that destroyed the characters and made a mockery of what an actual relationship is between two people regardless of sex or gender identity (I say for the millionth time, FUCK YOU, ILENE) the devotion between these two was something I rarely see in ANY ship and it's amazing. They were there for each other through thick and thin, better or worse, without hesitation, devoted even when their own lives were falling apart around their heads. Even through the numerous ships they were shoved into that just kept destroying their characters and making mockeries of the issues Ilene claimed she was trying to highlight, put them in a scene together and you saw exactly who each character was, both flaws and strengths.
Which, in my book, makes them my non-sci-fi femslash OTP, <3
Elle Bishop and Claire Bennet, Heroes
"Thank you."
"For what?"
"For helping me. I've been nothing but a bitch and you've been nothing but sweet, it really just makes me hate you more."
"No, I should be the one thanking you."
"Why?"
"Because I was ready to give up. Stay home, deny everything that's been happening to me. I was scared."
"Scared of what?"
"Of what I would find out about who I really am."
"It's just... it's nice to know that you're as messed up as I am."
This went from a handful of caps to... their entire history on the show together. Oops? I totally blame the fact that hese two are my femslash ecquivalent to Kirk/Spock which, as some of you know, IS SAYING A WHOLE EFFING LOT, YO because I never thought it would happen.
Girl meets hate!eye!fucks girl while they're being traded as hostages. Girl makes girl drop out of sky with electricity bomb. Girl slams girl against car and they heave their chests at each other. Girls are divided for many months by the epic fail that is the writers' strike and the shitty-ass writing that followed S1. Girl pops up again and they go back to slamming each other onto the floor and heaving their chests at each other. Girls unite and participate in a journey that wasn't shown on-screen because it would have been too awesome for the viewers to actually happen and what WAS shown was... still too much to handle.
Girls almost bring down plane with crazy electricity before they clasp hands and make the most obvious orgasm faces ever as girl pushes her spare electricity into other girl.
No. Really. It really happened.
Following this, girl stares at girl with hearts in her eyes and then gets nervous and drops hand and then gets sad-faced when other girl goes back to her own angst even though she's the one that broke contact, I SHIT YOU NOT, I CANNOT MAKE THIS SHIT UP.
Evidence:
Anyway, girls reach their destination and girl continues to be the butchest secret butch in the history of existence, a fact that obviously makes other girl happy (really, people - even when Elle is on top, we all know who's actually topping) and then continues to prove that she truly would be the Best Girlfriend Ever:
Girls proceed to fuck each other with their eyes in a way that lacks the hate that laced their first meeting:
And then freaking Peter falls out of the building behind them and wins the gold medal in the art of c-blocking for the rest of his pathetically annoying little life. Girl is a good niece and saves uncle but other girl freaks out and gets epic sadface and starts crying as she realizes and decides she's going to choose a possible cure for her premature electrification over the Best Girlfriend Ever. Other girl is obviously griefstricken but unable to shed herself of the Epic C-blocker before girl runs into Building of Character Destruction.
Proof that these Looks of Epic Angst happened:
If that is not the look of two ladies in love in a position where one girl's like, THERE'S NO OTHER WAY, I'M SORRY and the other girl is like, NO, GET BACK HERE, WE CAN TRY SOMETHING ELSE, BABY, I very honestly do not know what is.
Obviously, my canon is what really happened.
Claire saved Elle like the Best Girlfriend Ever that she is, Peter gets his ass kicked on principle, and none of that S3 shit happened past this stuff. NONE OF IT HAPPENED, OKAY?
And thus began the Morally Gray Adventures of the Walking Taser and the Secret Butch.
cap sources on my recourse page; gifs from wowsugarpuss_
Bianca Montgomery and Maggie Stone, All My Children
"I need you to leave."
"Bianca, you're in danger and I am worried sick about you so ask me anything but do not ask me to leave you."
You guys have heard my rage before.
Years. We waited years, and then got we fucked over and then Bianca's character got fucked over.
Bianca/Maggie (and Tad/Dixie and Ryan/Kendall) are why I roll my eyes at a lot of shippers who bitch and moan about how their ship doesn't wind up with everything they want because really? No. Because a lot of them got real scenes. Maybe even sex scenes. Like. A real relationship. What did we get? Bad writing that got worse, a joke of a reunion that was then scrapped (even the actress basically told us that after the dust settled and after they continued to fuck her over, she's now refused to go back to the role) and the rug pulled out under our emotional feet. Their family has basically been forgotten, their characters destroyed and the show itself utterly gutted over the last ten or so years.
I am honestly getting teary eyes of rage just thinking about it years after the fact.
Me?
I REFUSE TO LET GO OF MY LOVE.
Because look how pretty they are, and remember the rape exam and the cotton candy and the love confession.
They way they looked at each other, and touched each other, and all the years of love story.
KEEP THE BAM LOVE ALIVE, GUYS, PLEASE, ;_____________________________;
Maddie Fitzpatrick and London Tipton, The Suite Life
"But I wanted a car... that would keep all of me warm."
"I made it with my own two hands."
"It looks like you made it with your own two feet!"
"I thought you'd be happy that I put so much effort into it. You're always accusing me of being superficial."
"And you had to pick Christmas to become deep?"
No, not a joke - I ship it really fucking hard.
Yes, the girls above are from that lame Disney Channel show about the hotel and the twin brothers.
For whatever reason, these two really click for me even though, you know, it shouldn't be worthy of my attention at all, right? Because it takes a lot to write them, they're such caricatures (especially poor London although you guys already know I've got my plans for fleshing her out beyond the cartoon on the show), and yet there's still that click that allows me to love them more than most other femslash ships out there. They're very much a young Lucy and Ethel, and it's pretty effing easy to blend crack and serious shit between these two if you actually study them.
Because they are TEH CUTE, OKAY, I CAN'T EVEN. When they were singing and dancing to 'Bop to the Top,' I was all, OMG, IF I DIDN'T SHIP THEM BEFORE I WOULD NOW and once London was poor for an episode and I got all filled up with random plot bunnies about them when they inevitably meet up in five years as adults and have a whole crazy random happenstance kind of courtship. And then they totally raised a fake baby together and totally fucked it up in a very 'we're still too young to understand our unresolved sexual tension so let's fling the fake baby right out the window' kind of way and, like, really?
YOU GUYS KNOW HOW I AM, OKAY?
So much like Ben/Riley, I have many a night gone through The Pit in a desperate search for a snippet of fanfic about these two.
AND THERE'S NEVER ANYTHING.
MY HEART, YOU GUYS, IT BLEEDS FOR MY CRACKY FEMSLASH OTP.
Jill Bernhardt and Cindy Thomas, Women's Murder Club
"If we are friends, do you think you can stay until my parents get here?"
"Sure."
lol, first cap.
How much do I love how often Jill is giving Cindy various looks of curiosity and 'there may be something there that wasn't there before' through the show? (shut up, it totally works for them, but, like, in reverse, okay?)
Anyway, further proof I just do not get the Xena/Gabrielle thing 90% of the time.
Lindsay/Cindy wound up being the biggest thing since the last biggest thing in femslash but it never clicked for me, not in the way I needed. I could ship it, sort of, and I liked it when my favorite writer did something with them but between my dislike of Angie Harmon (I do not get it, AM I THE ONLY ONE WHO HAS NO INTEREST IN TAPPING THAT?) and my extreme love of LH and AD's facial expressions, it should come as no surprise which ship really wound up owning my heart.
The lawyer and the reporter.
Looking for caps reminded of how often they would immediately stand shoulder to shoulder as a united front as the series went on and how pretty they looked together. It also reminded me of just how easily I could buy these two slipping into a relationship for months before the other two members of the club found out - there's a lot of the slow hints of growing affection between them, and I buy it because the chemistry built as their connection did. Which. Like. Makes me love it more. I love that by 1x04, at the very beginning of the show Jill and Cindy are already doing that cute 'at each other's side' thing that develops more and more, and, like, IT'S CUTE, YOU GUYS, SO CUTE, I BUY IT SO MUCH, I CAN'T EVEN.
By the time Cindy was SHOT IN THE CHEST, you know, and Jill was the only one who cared enough to stay with her?
THEY OWNED ME.
So the dearth of love and fic continually breaks my heart when it comes to these two, let me tell you, ;___________;
Because, uh, dude, who's going to write the fic where Lindsay almost gets Cindy killed and Jill goes fucking crazy on her but shuts down completely towards Cindy because she's too unhinged by the trauma to trust herself around the woman she loves with her abandonment issues and Lindsay's like, WAIT, DOES THIS MEAN YOU CARE ABOUT CINDY? and Cindy is pissed off because something Jill does to "keep her safe" threatens her job and then Lindsay's like, WAIT, WAIT, DO YOU CARE ABOUT CINDY? I DON'T UNDERSTAND! and the sheer level of angst before it finally resolved itself would be incredible, I promise, you guys, DO I HAVE TO DO EVERYTHING MYSELF?
Also, I realized something while I went through caps for this picspam.
I could totally do a picspam solely devoted to these two and their habit of being the cutest thing ever in a morgue. No, really, I swear, Cindy continually is sitting in there behind Claire watching with fascination the various dead bodies on display in front of her and every time Jill walks in to this, she basically has an instant facial expression of "GOD, BABY, WHY YOU DO DIS TO ME?" when she sees her girlfriend watching the bodies like they're the coolest thing ever.
I FIND IT ADORABLE, WHAT DOES IT SAY ABOUT ME?
(i am so close to doing a 'how jill and cindy fell in love through their repeated visits to the morgue' picspam, gah)
Alice Pieszecki and Shane McCutcheon, The L Word
"I love you, Shane."
"I love you, too."
My love for these two will never die. I shipped it basically since the show started and never lost my love, ever, no matter what kind of shit Ilene pulled and, oh, THAT WOMAN.
These two channel the epitome of what makes me truly love a ship: the most sincere kind of connection, one that I can buy even if the world around them is a joke. Morgan/Reid is closest for me in regards to a non-sci-fi ship that connects the characters on this level. Out of all the piece of shit pairings on this show that destroyed the characters and made a mockery of what an actual relationship is between two people regardless of sex or gender identity (I say for the millionth time, FUCK YOU, ILENE) the devotion between these two was something I rarely see in ANY ship and it's amazing. They were there for each other through thick and thin, better or worse, without hesitation, devoted even when their own lives were falling apart around their heads. Even through the numerous ships they were shoved into that just kept destroying their characters and making mockeries of the issues Ilene claimed she was trying to highlight, put them in a scene together and you saw exactly who each character was, both flaws and strengths.
Which, in my book, makes them my non-sci-fi femslash OTP, <3
Elle Bishop and Claire Bennet, Heroes
"Thank you."
"For what?"
"For helping me. I've been nothing but a bitch and you've been nothing but sweet, it really just makes me hate you more."
"No, I should be the one thanking you."
"Why?"
"Because I was ready to give up. Stay home, deny everything that's been happening to me. I was scared."
"Scared of what?"
"Of what I would find out about who I really am."
"It's just... it's nice to know that you're as messed up as I am."
This went from a handful of caps to... their entire history on the show together. Oops? I totally blame the fact that hese two are my femslash ecquivalent to Kirk/Spock which, as some of you know, IS SAYING A WHOLE EFFING LOT, YO because I never thought it would happen.
Girl meets hate!eye!fucks girl while they're being traded as hostages. Girl makes girl drop out of sky with electricity bomb. Girl slams girl against car and they heave their chests at each other. Girls are divided for many months by the epic fail that is the writers' strike and the shitty-ass writing that followed S1. Girl pops up again and they go back to slamming each other onto the floor and heaving their chests at each other. Girls unite and participate in a journey that wasn't shown on-screen because it would have been too awesome for the viewers to actually happen and what WAS shown was... still too much to handle.
Girls almost bring down plane with crazy electricity before they clasp hands and make the most obvious orgasm faces ever as girl pushes her spare electricity into other girl.
No. Really. It really happened.
Following this, girl stares at girl with hearts in her eyes and then gets nervous and drops hand and then gets sad-faced when other girl goes back to her own angst even though she's the one that broke contact, I SHIT YOU NOT, I CANNOT MAKE THIS SHIT UP.
Evidence:
Anyway, girls reach their destination and girl continues to be the butchest secret butch in the history of existence, a fact that obviously makes other girl happy (really, people - even when Elle is on top, we all know who's actually topping) and then continues to prove that she truly would be the Best Girlfriend Ever:
Girls proceed to fuck each other with their eyes in a way that lacks the hate that laced their first meeting:
And then freaking Peter falls out of the building behind them and wins the gold medal in the art of c-blocking for the rest of his pathetically annoying little life. Girl is a good niece and saves uncle but other girl freaks out and gets epic sadface and starts crying as she realizes and decides she's going to choose a possible cure for her premature electrification over the Best Girlfriend Ever. Other girl is obviously griefstricken but unable to shed herself of the Epic C-blocker before girl runs into Building of Character Destruction.
Proof that these Looks of Epic Angst happened:
If that is not the look of two ladies in love in a position where one girl's like, THERE'S NO OTHER WAY, I'M SORRY and the other girl is like, NO, GET BACK HERE, WE CAN TRY SOMETHING ELSE, BABY, I very honestly do not know what is.
Obviously, my canon is what really happened.
Claire saved Elle like the Best Girlfriend Ever that she is, Peter gets his ass kicked on principle, and none of that S3 shit happened past this stuff. NONE OF IT HAPPENED, OKAY?
And thus began the Morally Gray Adventures of the Walking Taser and the Secret Butch.
cap sources on my recourse page; gifs from wowsugarpuss_