GOD LOVES ME.

[ever_neutral]

You guys, let's talk about television.

+ R.I.P. The Borgias,

• I'm torn between being very upset about the unjust cancellation and very satisfied overall with the ending and series overall. I suppose my greatest regret is not getting to see Cesare and Lucrezia bone again.
• Though, I do think the season did C/L justice. lbr I am hft. DEFINITELY here for the decline of their relationship into toxic destructiveness because I am myself in this way. Really, after the consummation of their forbidden love, it could be no other way. The devil sits in the room with them after all! Which is to say, the closing scene of the finale was perf. OTPs + bloody hands 4ev.
• lol @ my mother though, who was scandalised all the way through.
• Lucrezia was really my fave (that is, when Giulia and Caterina weren't being my fave) and I think I can confidently say her series arc was the best, y/y? Clearly she developed the most out of everyone and her descent into moral dubiousness and disillusionment gave me all of the warm fuzzies on the inside! Holliday Grainger is also my favourite (though Francois Arnaud and Jeremy Irons were pretty strong too obvs).
• lol Alfonso.
• lol Cesare. GOD DOESN'T LOVE YOU. BUT LUCREZIA STILL DOES.
• lol Rodrigo.
• However, the emotional father-son "reunion" did move me in my soul while being simultaneously hilarious. "I LOOK INTO HIS EYES AND I SEE MYSELF! HOW DO YOU EXPECT ME TO LOVE THAT?" "(with great sympathy) Do you not love yourself, father?" Oh u 2.
• Caterina fucking Sforza exists.
• lol Rodrigo/Vanozza. I'm very happy for them, I guess. Though Vanozza is too good for him. (Vanozza is too good for everyone lbr.)
• I will miss Micheletto and his inexplicable fuckable-ness, ngl.
• And I still maintain Micheletto was secretly in love with Cesare all along.
• Will also miss Giulia Farnese's face.
• Needs more incestuous boning.
• That's the sum of my thoughts.

+ In Doctor Who news: Shame about Matt Smith, though I'm not as devo as I could be -- I feel like it's just time. It's been three seasons (and lbr Eleven has lived too long and has been virtually dead inside since The Angels Take Manhattan). Looking forward to the Rose/Ten in the 50th Anniversary though ngl. LOL. WHATEVER, MAN, I TOTALLY AM. (My relationship with that ship is so weird srsly.)

+ lol fucking Game of Thrones. I haven't gotten around to watching the S3 finale (do I really want to), but

• lol @ GoT penultimate episodes always being better than the finales, i.e. the Blackwater battle and the Red Wedding were clear standouts of the marathon. (Everything else basically blurred into one big blob of blood spatter and Jon Snow's hair tbh.)
• But you guys, I am 100000000% done with this show's gendered violence. WHAT was Joffrey's murder of Ros. (WHAT EVEN WAS THE TREATMENT OF ROS. SHE EXISTED TO PROVIDE NUDITY AND TO BE SLAPPED AROUND BY GROSS MEN, THEREBY DEMONSTRATING HOW HARD WOMEN HAVE IT IN WESTEROS???? SMH.) And  W H A T was the Talisa pregnancy plot. It's like the showrunners think that since there are so many complex female characters it is therefore ok to include more VAW for shock value.
• What even was Robb/Talisa, period.
• Really, what is a Robb Stark.
• lol Joffrey. srsly what is his characterisation. He is the worst in the books too obviously but the way he's villainised on the show is unbelievable. (See: torture of prostitutes, which I am pretty certain did not occur in the original text. But the show wants to emphasise that he is a BAD GUY so yay gendered violence.)
• (I live a Jack Gleeson appreciation life, tho.)
• Dany's S2 arc was nonexistent but I did like her stuff in S3. I like that she has the best intentions; however, I also find it interesting that they're often undermined by some of her actions, e.g. ordering the Unsullied to kill their masters / her enemies and then giving them the choice... to follow her orders. IDK if we're supposed to read it like that but I do prefer to see Dany's arc as a subversion of the white saviour trope than a straightforward hero's journey?
• Not looking forward to the race!fail in the finale though!!
• What was Theon's S3 non-arc. I think we can all agree that he was screwed over the most this season. Ha. Gruesome season-long torture does not a good story make. (Not that I saw any of it, mind. I chose to chase my cat around the house whenever a Ramsay scene came on. I have become squeamish in my old age, what do you know.) And just WHAT was the degree of violence of those scenes! SPOILER: To my knowledge, they do not chop off Theon's dick in the books. So why oh why were TBTB compelled to make this addition??! There is a point where trying to be as triggery as possible ain't cute, show. (And it's definitely not cute when the justification is that Theon is himself a murderer and terrible person, ergo gratuitous sexual-violence-for-shock-value is ok.)
• (I'm also pretty uncomfortable with the idea that being systematically abused is the road to redemption. On the one hand I appreciate that Theon actually has become a more remorseful person via torture. But, like, can we not.)
• Unexpectedly, I really enjoyed the Sansa/Tyrion stuff onscreen?? Their wedding night scene was weirdly one of my favourites of the season!
• I also appreciate that Tyrion is a million times less obnoxious on the show. Mainly because Peter Dinklage exists.
• Cersei is my love and should always be drunk.
• I hate Tywin yet at the same time I love Tywin. idk man, Lannisters.
• AND NOW LET ME ANNOUNCE THAT I AM BETRAYING THE INCEST BECAUSE DUDE I TOTALLY SHIP BRIENNE/JAIME? The bear scene was the greatest thing to ever happen to this show, agree/disagree at will.
• (lol, sorry, but Brienne is not ugly. Television s2g.)
• I have become fond of Jon Snow! Mainly because "I'm a free woman!"/"YOU'RE MY PRISONER, YOU'RE NOT A FREE WOMAN, THAT'S WHAT 'PRISONER' MEANS!!!1111!" HE JUST AMUSES ME, REALLY.
• Though sorry 2 say I still don't get the raving about his prettiness. Kit Harrington is good looking in a way that's not my type at all, but he's not even particularly feminine so idgi.
• Jon/Ygritte is the OTP.
• Arya/Gendry is the OTP.
• Michelle Fairley exists.
• Here for all the women, what's new.
• But lbr Varys is secretly the best character in the series.
• That's enough thinking about this show.

Also, I'm now 800 pages through A Dance With Dragons. After four books I am finally vaguely paying attention to the plot! Pretty proud ngl. (But Lord WHY is the m:f ratio of chapter POVs like 5:1??? *grumble grumble*)

+ I'm glad that Dan Harmon is returning to Community, I guess? But tbh I don't see much of a difference, whoops. Also really looking forward to Chevy Chase no longer being on the show ngl.

+ POLLING THE AUDIENCE: Can I even be fucked watching Supernatural next season? Literally what is the point of anything without Meg Masters. (And lbr this show should probably have died seasons ago. Yet, like a fungus, it and its steadfast misogyny persists!) In related news, this is basically a blog where I am bitter about television.

+ BUT REALLY THIS POST EXISTS TO FLAIL ABOUT THE KDRAMAS I HAVE BEEN WATCHING.

So this year according to people's orders I have watched: Reply 1997, You're Beautiful, The Thousandth Man, Flower Boy Next Door, Shut Up Flower Boy Band, Dream High, and just started White Christmas and Coffee Prince. AND I CRY AND MY TEARS ARE ALSO BLOOD.

-- The only one of these I did not care for was You're Beautiful (LOOK AWAY, LIZZIE!!!!!) on account of every character other than the two leads being horribly developed and the Minam/Taekyung ship turning me off for half of the show's run (... though I begrudgingly came around to them and Taekyung's assholery by the end). Um. Yonghwa is hot, though? So there was that.

+ FBND was a far worthier enterprise for Park Shin Hye, a.k.a. the prettiest girl ever omfg? Dok Mi was my animagus and I sob forever over her arc of overcoming her fear of people BECAUSE REASONS. Enrique also was my dude and THEIR FACES were a delight from start to finish. BUT PRAY, WHERE IS THE FIC??

+ Reply 1997 too was a gift, end of. (WHERE IS THE FANDOM, SRSLY. WHERE IS ALL THE JOON HEE/SHI WON/YOON JAE PORN. SMH.) Also, Hoya is clearly the best Infinite actor y/y.

+ Going from what Jamie told me, I expected The Thousandth Man to be terrible, but omg I really didn't think it was??? I mean, it was a female-driven show about eating men's livers!! WHAT'S NOT TO LOVE!!! I particularly enjoyed how all the dudes were mostly lame and there to prop up the women, trolololol.

ON THAT NOTE: Woohyun's (and Sunggyu's omfg) scenery-chewing was terriblemazing and gave me life. lbr Namu will never top his performance in the "BTD" MV but nonetheless I give him 15/10 for entertainment value. (Overwhelming feelings about Woohyun in the "BTD" MV, I will revisit you another time.) AND THEN CONVENIENCE-STORE-CLERK!SUNGGYU TOLD NAMU TO "STOP BEING SO DRAMATIC". Reader, I died. Though maybe not as much as I died at leather-clad!motorbike-driving!Nam chasing his T-ara lady love (SHIP IT TBQH) down a highway while "The Chaser" blared. I lived to see that. (LOL EVERYTHING NAMSTAR DOES IS MY FAVOURITE EVERYTHING INCLUDING HIS HAMMY ACTING SORRY NOT SORRY.)

+ In other Infinite business: Myungsoo sneering his way through SUFBB also gave me life.

• I will say there were some moments where I think Soo came across a bit wooden or had some trouble conveying the right degree of emotion? That said, this actually worked with Hyunsoo the ice prince, so on the whole I enjoyed him a loooot. Obviously, he was my fave. I was super into his anger and ambition and vulnerability re: family. EXCUSE ME WHILE I DROWN IN KIM MYUNGSOO FEELINGS K.
• Erm. I liked nearly everything else about the show too, promise.
• V. upset about Byung Hee's demise but really it was kind of an awesome storytelling move? The show was a coming-of-age story above all and the guys losing their band leader/hero was a necessary test in their growing up and growing-into their identities &c. &c. Particularly, Ji Hyuk being Byung Hee's forever right hand man but being forced to take the leadership role was a great arc for him.
• I also have a lot A LOT A LOT of feelings about the "you're still unhappy, even though you got everything you wanted" sentiment about fame because ughhhhhh musical career angst. I really masochistically dug how it got to a point where the band was questioning why they were even still DOING THIS because for real, guys, the performance industry is absolutely miserable and the worst thing to aspire to be in and you will ask yourself 10 times a day why you even want it when 90% of the most fucked up people on the planet are musicians trolololol. GPOY tbh!!!
• My one complaint about the cast would be the lack of women, but I liked Soo Ah and her not-just-a-love-interest screentime enough that this didn't bother me like it could have.
• Do Il/Wookyung and Ha Jin/Kyunjoong are the OTPs y/y?
• OMG CONFESSION TIME: I was so not feeling Hyunsoo/Yerim?? AND I'M SO UPSET ABOUT IT BECAUSE YOU DON'T EVEN KNOW HOW MUCH I WANTED A SOO/FEMALE SHIP. BECAUSE. SOOOOOOOOOOOOOO. But I just did not see the chemistry! I was also frustrated by Yerim only being treated as significant in relation to the Hyunsoo romance subplot. This is basically my problem with lead character/minor character shipping. WOE.
• ANYWAY, the show is worth the praise it gets. I wouldn't rate it above Reply 1997 but it's up there.
• Also, I may have used it for ~educational purposes~, i.e. I rambled shamelessly about Kim Myungsoo in a paper I wrote for my Asian Screens media class on Korean television. WHAT WHAT.
• IN CONCLUSION: LEE MINKI: HAS A FACE.

+ BUT GUYS, CAN WE TALK ABOUT DREAM HIGH. I FINISHED IT LIKE TWO DAYS AGO AND AM PROBABLY GOING TO BURST OUT OF THE STRATOSPHERE WITH THE SHEER FORCE OF MY EMOTIONS.[GO AWAY ELEONORE THERE ARE SPOILS AHEAD.]

• So, I've decided Go Hye Mi might be my favourite kdrama heroine so far (AND THAT IS SAYING A LOT SRSLY)? I love sfm that in any other show she'd be the bitchy antagonist (which the show actually made a meta moment out of! ha!!) but here she was the hero of the story! I loved her and I hated her and I loved her again and her development was the best ride ever. Usually I'm very opposed to narratives "defanging" ~difficult females, but I thought Hye Mi's arc about becoming a better person was actually perfect? She didn't have to sacrifice anything -- she still got to fulfill a successful performing career and she still kept her surly attitude to the end -- but she also got past her intimacy issues and accepted that she had human emotions and vulnerabilities and became less cynical about relationships and MY FEELS???
• (I also feel like Suzy was kind of like Myungsoo in that her performance was sometimes stiff but it also worked for the character. Overall I found her really charming and ofc Miss A love.)
• I have the same !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! feelings about Baek Hee insofar as she's the kind of character who would ordinarily just be "the bitch" but we're encouraged to sympathise with her and invest in her growth while also recognising that she is often incredibly awful. Ergo, I loved her. Ofc the Baek Hee-Hye Mi friendship/rivalry caused me a lot of pain and all of the feelings in general. I was v. happy they finally wound up being friends again on a more equal plane.
• All of the women were stellar, full stop.
• Really pleasantly surprised that the show commented so explicitly on looks/weight being such a big deal in the pop industry! I like that they suggested that Pilsuk's mission to be conventionally thin and attractive was ultimately not ideal -- and I love so hard that she ended the show by gaining (some of) the weight back because being healthy and happy is more valuable!
• Also stunned that the show got it so right re: rape culture. When Baek Hee was assaulted by the company president pos and Kyung Jin straight up said that it'd be Baek Hee's career that would suffer because the public always hates the victim, I JUST??
• ALL OF THE COMPLICATED LADY RELATIONSHIPS. Baek Hee/Hye Mi ofc but there was also Baek Hee-Kyung Jin and the oddball Hye Mi/Pilsuk dynamic and basically this show made me very happy in the XX chromosome department ok.
• The dudes were alright too???? lol.
• I liked Jason and his random-English-speaking self a lot. Jason/Pilsuk were the OTP obvs.
• But mostly: SAM DONG THE PRECIOUS ANGEL PUPPY SEAHORSE. I had a RIDICULOUS amount of feelings about his face and his emotionality and idealism and talent and how he became disillusioned and hardened by the unfairness of his health problems but still he didn't let it stop or break him. He despaired, and then he fought harder. He didn''t have naturally perfect pitch but he worked himself to the bone in order to get it (SRSLY WHAAAAAAAAAT). He was the perfect idol lbr. (lol @ my type.) He was also a fool and I sometimes wanted to slap him silly but this was the only way to love this child.
• I have to say I was less enamored of Taecyeon. He wasn't completely terrible but he also wasn't particularly compelling either to me. I had some affection for Jin Guk but I'd probably have liked him more with a more charismatic actor. As it is, the Troubled Yet Cute Jerk With A Heart of Gold and a Dark and Troubled Past didn't stand out for me among the many others of his archetype tbh!
• Same with Hye Mi/Jin Guk. I liked them together just fine, but Taecyeon never sparked with Suzy the way I was supposed to be seeing them sparking.
• (Also, idg how Taecyeon is THE HOTTEST THING EVER. He's attractive, don't get me wrong, but I don't think he's prettier than, say, Sam Dong. And the hypermasculine buff thing does nothing for me, generally.)
• HYE MI AND SAM DONG THOUGH. IDONOTKNOWWHATMYEMOTIONSAREDOING.GIF BECAUSE MUSICIANS WHO HAVE FACES AND ARE ALSO IN LOVE!!!! I was inclined to like them because the lovesick boy/bitchy girl formula is my jam but then their relationship arc totally went and punched me in the feels, jfc. I love how it wasn't just EPIC LOVE from day one but started off more as this comic-relief unlikely-duo crack-ship AND THEN BAM SURPRISE OTP?? Truthfully, I was almost certain for a while that we were supposed to want a Hye Mi/Jin Guk endgame because of how hard they were pushing the ~yearning between them -- I remember getting ready to grumble about about it on the grounds that Hye Mi and Jin Guk spent way less time actually being together than angsting about each other, whereas Sam Dong was actually the one with whom Hye Mi lived, trained, danced, sang, performed, and pretty much spent all her days. (Ships that grow together are the best kinds, ok.) BUT THEN THE WRITERS ACTUALLY AGREED WITH ME? ofc it was a show about GROWTH, and Hye Mi and Sam Dong actually made each other grow -- it wasn't about changing yourself but bringing out what was already inside (her kindness, his determination). omfg guys sometimes I ship correctly, what even.
• OMG EXCUSE THIS WALL OF TEXT I JUST HAVE A LOT OF FEELINGS.
• (PLS VOMIT YOUR FEELS IF YOU HAVE THEM.)

+ I am supposed to be catching up with Elementary and Mad Men and starting Hannibal and Orphan Black (and god knows what else) eventually but those are posts for another day.