Social Observation: Random Niceness
Here's something I've always wondered: why do people commit random acts of courtesy and kindness when they have no substance? Now before you get all 'We Are The World' on me, hear me out. I'm not talking about random kindness as in giving to charity, or helping a nice old lady across the street. Acts of niceness like that are meaningful. I'm referring to the random acts that serve no purpose whatsoever. For example, waving to people when you're driving or walking when you don't even know the person. Why do it? You don't care. It's not even a proper acknowledgment. The whole purpose of a wave is to establish a friendly connection with someone, but half the time you could care less who it is you're waving at. Waving for no real reason is self-gratification. All you're doing is attempting to convince yourself, through shallow acts, that you're a nice person. You are not a nice person.
Interactions every day can go one of two ways. You can actively notice those around you, or you can tune them out. In the event you choose to notice someone, it makes a lot more sense to communicate verbally with the person. If you're going to put forth effort to establish some sort of conversation, verbal or non, then make it worthwhile. It's like when people ask you how your day was and then look bored when you tell them about it. It's annoying. If you don't care, don't ask. I know it's a social norm to be polite and pretend to care, but you really just come off looking like an asshole. Quit it.
I've been racking my brain trying to figure out a way to break people from these mannerisms and I believe I have found a solution (or at least a fun little social experiment). Here's what I propose: the next time someone waves at you for no apparent reason, give them the finger... but do it with a smile. You're communicating just as well as they are, and you don't necessarily have to mean what you're doing -- after all, they don't.
This is somewhat of a subtopic on random niceness, but it fits nicely - when did holding doors open for people become expected? Screw that. I still hold doors open for people all the time, but no one ever thanks you for this anymore. So here's another fun little social experiment that incorporates a bit of what I talked about earlier. The next time someone doesn't say thank you for holding the door for them, wait until they're just about to walk through it, then jump in the middle of the doorway and stand there. Then, when they say "excuse me," you can look over your shoulder, say "wait your turn, asshole," and then give them a wave.
Interactions every day can go one of two ways. You can actively notice those around you, or you can tune them out. In the event you choose to notice someone, it makes a lot more sense to communicate verbally with the person. If you're going to put forth effort to establish some sort of conversation, verbal or non, then make it worthwhile. It's like when people ask you how your day was and then look bored when you tell them about it. It's annoying. If you don't care, don't ask. I know it's a social norm to be polite and pretend to care, but you really just come off looking like an asshole. Quit it.
I've been racking my brain trying to figure out a way to break people from these mannerisms and I believe I have found a solution (or at least a fun little social experiment). Here's what I propose: the next time someone waves at you for no apparent reason, give them the finger... but do it with a smile. You're communicating just as well as they are, and you don't necessarily have to mean what you're doing -- after all, they don't.
This is somewhat of a subtopic on random niceness, but it fits nicely - when did holding doors open for people become expected? Screw that. I still hold doors open for people all the time, but no one ever thanks you for this anymore. So here's another fun little social experiment that incorporates a bit of what I talked about earlier. The next time someone doesn't say thank you for holding the door for them, wait until they're just about to walk through it, then jump in the middle of the doorway and stand there. Then, when they say "excuse me," you can look over your shoulder, say "wait your turn, asshole," and then give them a wave.