(no subject)
Friday night, Matt and I went to Resonate at APC and it was a presentation on "Relationships and Dating." It was actually quite different than what I thought it would be, and it was very funny. Pastor Lisa just got engaged the day before, so she was all bubbly and she told us about how she got engage and all the girls got excited. She talked about what you look for in a relationship and asked Matt why we started dating. Of course, he joked around and said that it started in highschool because we were in the same class, and we got together because I was smart and he needed homework help. She also talked about what makes a relationship good and some things that bring down the relationship. There were things that she mentioned that really hit home. I know that there are things that we need to work on, individually and together. Individually, I know that I need to give Matt more freedom. I sometimes want him to spend all his free time with me, because he's so busy, but I have to learn to let him do his own thing with his own friends too. I also have to work on the communication thing with him when I'm angry. He's so good. He'll come talk to me when I'm angry and he has to make me talk, but I'll never initiate the conversation when I'm angry. Because when I'm angry, I don't want to talk. It's a vicious cycle.
So last night, a bunch of things happened that made me upset. He was busy and he wanted to see other people, and I wanted to see him, so I was willing to drive down and hang out with his friends, but he didn't think I was, so it turned out to be this huge problem and I got upset. I was still a little upset from the night before, because I wanted to talk after Resonate and he was too tired and didn't talk. So after this, I was angry about mainly two things:
1. He doesn't want to talk to me when I want to talk to him, but when Mr. Hill wants to talk to him (that was one of the things that he had to do, so he couldn't come to the dragonboat party), he's there right away and talking to Mr. Hill is first on his priority list.
2. When I called him last night, he said "Isn't it more important to spend time with me?" And I didn't say anything, so he said "Well it's more important to me." And I said "No it's not. But if it is, then come and see me here at the party." He said "Well I can't because I said I'd see these other people." Then I got angry because I don't like it when he makes me feel guilty about not wanting to see him and he says that he wants to see me, but he doesn't mean it.
But really, those aren't the real reasons why I was upset. I just wanted to talk to him about things that were brought up at Resonate. After the dragonboat party, I went home and I was angry, but he was waiting at my house. That's how I know he loves me. Anyways, we talked and worked things out, the minor problems and the big questions that I had to ask him. I was kinda scared because I know guys don't like talking about the future, especially with relationships. It's just that everyone is getting engaged or married. I went over to our neighbour's house that afternoon and Jennifer (the daughter) is getting married in October, so she was very excited. So I asked him a couple of questions and basically what I found out is that he thinks our relationship could work out and he's okay with the fact that if we get married, I'm the only person that he's dated (which is pretty much the same for me). That made me feel happy. Then I asked him when he thought was a good age to get married, because I told him I don't want to get married right now, so I wouldn't scare him. It was surprising to hear him say that he thinks 23 is a good age. 23! That's in two years! I'll be done my undergrad degree by then and hopefully be accepted into med school! I don't want to get ahead of myself, but just hearing him say that makes me feel giddy. We could be engaged in two years! Now that I think about it some more, it makes me feel scared as well. But I have to remember that it may not work out. What we want may not be what God has planned for us. So we have to be ready for anything and expect anything. But it just makes me happy that Matt does think about the future and he thinks about US in the future. Yay.
So last night, a bunch of things happened that made me upset. He was busy and he wanted to see other people, and I wanted to see him, so I was willing to drive down and hang out with his friends, but he didn't think I was, so it turned out to be this huge problem and I got upset. I was still a little upset from the night before, because I wanted to talk after Resonate and he was too tired and didn't talk. So after this, I was angry about mainly two things:
1. He doesn't want to talk to me when I want to talk to him, but when Mr. Hill wants to talk to him (that was one of the things that he had to do, so he couldn't come to the dragonboat party), he's there right away and talking to Mr. Hill is first on his priority list.
2. When I called him last night, he said "Isn't it more important to spend time with me?" And I didn't say anything, so he said "Well it's more important to me." And I said "No it's not. But if it is, then come and see me here at the party." He said "Well I can't because I said I'd see these other people." Then I got angry because I don't like it when he makes me feel guilty about not wanting to see him and he says that he wants to see me, but he doesn't mean it.
But really, those aren't the real reasons why I was upset. I just wanted to talk to him about things that were brought up at Resonate. After the dragonboat party, I went home and I was angry, but he was waiting at my house. That's how I know he loves me. Anyways, we talked and worked things out, the minor problems and the big questions that I had to ask him. I was kinda scared because I know guys don't like talking about the future, especially with relationships. It's just that everyone is getting engaged or married. I went over to our neighbour's house that afternoon and Jennifer (the daughter) is getting married in October, so she was very excited. So I asked him a couple of questions and basically what I found out is that he thinks our relationship could work out and he's okay with the fact that if we get married, I'm the only person that he's dated (which is pretty much the same for me). That made me feel happy. Then I asked him when he thought was a good age to get married, because I told him I don't want to get married right now, so I wouldn't scare him. It was surprising to hear him say that he thinks 23 is a good age. 23! That's in two years! I'll be done my undergrad degree by then and hopefully be accepted into med school! I don't want to get ahead of myself, but just hearing him say that makes me feel giddy. We could be engaged in two years! Now that I think about it some more, it makes me feel scared as well. But I have to remember that it may not work out. What we want may not be what God has planned for us. So we have to be ready for anything and expect anything. But it just makes me happy that Matt does think about the future and he thinks about US in the future. Yay.