I just give myself the shivers, but that's what you get when you think about her.
I've begun to write, again. I think this, more than the 'freedom' you would expect, is the biggest change since the breakup. And oddly I was filling up with words even before it ended. I like the metaphor. In my conversations with C it's become clear to me that the part of me that is a poet is the part of me that asks too much of a quiet, introverted lover. The part of me that I have tried to keep silent for the sake of our relationship.
I'm sure I made the write (swear to God, that was an accident) decision in leaving. I am sad, I am desperately sad. But I remember something I thought I had forgotten.
Also I'm reading this beautiful little novel called Ella Minnow Pea. Letters disappear through the course of the text - it's a complicated premise, but a gorgeous and creative one. I've also never had cause before to label a dystopia 'charming'. C lent it to me, and I can see why. I also hear it being read in his voice sometimes - the made up portmanteaus and lyrically circuitous letter-writing remind me a little of how we write to one another.
As an afterthought - met J for a drink last night. All of which was unexpected.
I'm sure I made the write (swear to God, that was an accident) decision in leaving. I am sad, I am desperately sad. But I remember something I thought I had forgotten.
Also I'm reading this beautiful little novel called Ella Minnow Pea. Letters disappear through the course of the text - it's a complicated premise, but a gorgeous and creative one. I've also never had cause before to label a dystopia 'charming'. C lent it to me, and I can see why. I also hear it being read in his voice sometimes - the made up portmanteaus and lyrically circuitous letter-writing remind me a little of how we write to one another.
As an afterthought - met J for a drink last night. All of which was unexpected.