Blowjobs or Handjobs?
The inevitable question, would you rather recieve a blowjob or a handjob? I can tell that most guys would say "Ah hell yeah a blowjob, whats better than that?". Also most people would say "well i'd rather just fuck her instead". But what if your tired, what if you havent convinced the girl to get nekked? Sex is OUT of the question. So which is it? Has anyone ever recieved a terrible blowjob? Has anyone recieved a great handjob? Lets take a look at what these two living legends need in order to strive.
Handjobs:
Lets start with these bad boys. Most guys in their right mind would never "go for" a handjob but instead for the traditional blowjob which concievably is much better. If your ever in bed with a girl and you place her hand on your crotch is usually doesnt mean a handjob is imminent. Ya know just cradle the balls stroke it a little get it worked up. Now in no way shape or form am I an expert on these only recieving no less than 7 hand/blow jobs, and no more than 45, BUT I have had a really good blowjob, a really bad blowjob, a really good handjob, and a terrible handjob which resulted in unbelievable irritation.
Lets see what goes into a handjob shall we? First we have the way the girl strokes it, simple enough right? Well if you dont have alot of practice stroking a dick your going to be terrible at it. Thats why if your a gay man you can expect one thing: FANTASTIC HANDJOBS. But for the normal female its like driving a stick shift for the first time (no pun intended.....maybe). Ya know your nervous, you dont know when to go slower or faster, you dont realize that its a very fragile instrament. You need some control over your reflexes and pretty good stamina in order to get the "stroke" down. Basically the shaftwork depends on the girl and the shaft is the key to a good handjob.
Next up for our handjob journey are our little friends the testicles. EXTREMELY sensitive, but if they are worked right an EXTREMELY enjoyable handjob is in the works for you my friend. There is many-a-way in which the ballsack can be exploited, first and foremost there is tickling of the balls. Whether it be the females hand, toungue, or even a foriegn object its very hard not to stimulate the testes. And if your into a little more pain/excitement and if your feeling "ballsy" (puns ahoy), you may have the female squeeze or put pressure on your gilligans for that little added "Umph" when the handjob is on the agenda.
Thats basically it on the handjob, very simple, very direct. It all depends on the girl and her willingness to learn. its ok to stop a girl in the middle of a handjob to show her hows its done. Slow and steady wins the race everytime.
TIP: DON'T get a handjob while fingering a female. They will lose focus and that results in pain (first hand experience)
Blowjobs:
Ah yes the ultimate in oral pleasure, or so its believed. Once again it all depends on how the girl is. If you get a good blowjob its great, but that means she's had some practice, so if your first blowjob from a girl is great, she's probably a whore. The only problem I foresee with blowjobs is that there are no instructions that a guy can give a girl (unless you've given blowjobs before). There is no way you can stop a girl in the middle of a Deep throat expedition and SHOW her how its done. You either get a shitty blowjob or you stop her before she ruins you.
Rule #1 for a decent blowjob: Teeth are good, sometimes. And its not even the girls fault sometimes. if a girl goes down on you and you havent trimmed up in a while, and she catches a 3 inch pube in her teeth, sorry son but your done. Nothing turns on a girl more than getting someones pubic hair lodged in your teeth right?
The less of a gag-reflex the girl has the better. That way you can basically mouth fuck them if its not going good, but nothing is grosser than seeing a girl with a poor gag reflex dry heave after wrapping her nigger lips around your Octagon.
And once again the balls come into play, but not as much as most of the focus is on the shaft itself. But some girls will throw a little ballplay into the mix if they have a sense that its getting good. At least the nice ones will.
But alas there is always that chance of a terrible blowjob. An act so terrible in fact that you have to stop the girl from finishing due to the fear of breaking your dick.... or falling asleep while she is still in the midst of said act. Nothing will piss them off like you falling asleep due to boredom, and they WILL get angry, and your dick WILL be exposed, and I dont think you want a girl eye to eye with your erect (if it stays up throughout the act) dick while her mouth is on it capable of biting through relatively soft flesh/muscle.
Conclusion:
Masterbation>Sex>blowjobs=handjobs>Starbucks
MASTERBATION WINS AGAIN!
Handjobs:
Lets start with these bad boys. Most guys in their right mind would never "go for" a handjob but instead for the traditional blowjob which concievably is much better. If your ever in bed with a girl and you place her hand on your crotch is usually doesnt mean a handjob is imminent. Ya know just cradle the balls stroke it a little get it worked up. Now in no way shape or form am I an expert on these only recieving no less than 7 hand/blow jobs, and no more than 45, BUT I have had a really good blowjob, a really bad blowjob, a really good handjob, and a terrible handjob which resulted in unbelievable irritation.
Lets see what goes into a handjob shall we? First we have the way the girl strokes it, simple enough right? Well if you dont have alot of practice stroking a dick your going to be terrible at it. Thats why if your a gay man you can expect one thing: FANTASTIC HANDJOBS. But for the normal female its like driving a stick shift for the first time (no pun intended.....maybe). Ya know your nervous, you dont know when to go slower or faster, you dont realize that its a very fragile instrament. You need some control over your reflexes and pretty good stamina in order to get the "stroke" down. Basically the shaftwork depends on the girl and the shaft is the key to a good handjob.
Next up for our handjob journey are our little friends the testicles. EXTREMELY sensitive, but if they are worked right an EXTREMELY enjoyable handjob is in the works for you my friend. There is many-a-way in which the ballsack can be exploited, first and foremost there is tickling of the balls. Whether it be the females hand, toungue, or even a foriegn object its very hard not to stimulate the testes. And if your into a little more pain/excitement and if your feeling "ballsy" (puns ahoy), you may have the female squeeze or put pressure on your gilligans for that little added "Umph" when the handjob is on the agenda.
Thats basically it on the handjob, very simple, very direct. It all depends on the girl and her willingness to learn. its ok to stop a girl in the middle of a handjob to show her hows its done. Slow and steady wins the race everytime.
TIP: DON'T get a handjob while fingering a female. They will lose focus and that results in pain (first hand experience)
Blowjobs:
Ah yes the ultimate in oral pleasure, or so its believed. Once again it all depends on how the girl is. If you get a good blowjob its great, but that means she's had some practice, so if your first blowjob from a girl is great, she's probably a whore. The only problem I foresee with blowjobs is that there are no instructions that a guy can give a girl (unless you've given blowjobs before). There is no way you can stop a girl in the middle of a Deep throat expedition and SHOW her how its done. You either get a shitty blowjob or you stop her before she ruins you.
Rule #1 for a decent blowjob: Teeth are good, sometimes. And its not even the girls fault sometimes. if a girl goes down on you and you havent trimmed up in a while, and she catches a 3 inch pube in her teeth, sorry son but your done. Nothing turns on a girl more than getting someones pubic hair lodged in your teeth right?
The less of a gag-reflex the girl has the better. That way you can basically mouth fuck them if its not going good, but nothing is grosser than seeing a girl with a poor gag reflex dry heave after wrapping her nigger lips around your Octagon.
And once again the balls come into play, but not as much as most of the focus is on the shaft itself. But some girls will throw a little ballplay into the mix if they have a sense that its getting good. At least the nice ones will.
But alas there is always that chance of a terrible blowjob. An act so terrible in fact that you have to stop the girl from finishing due to the fear of breaking your dick.... or falling asleep while she is still in the midst of said act. Nothing will piss them off like you falling asleep due to boredom, and they WILL get angry, and your dick WILL be exposed, and I dont think you want a girl eye to eye with your erect (if it stays up throughout the act) dick while her mouth is on it capable of biting through relatively soft flesh/muscle.
Conclusion:
Masterbation>Sex>blowjobs=handjobs>Starbucks
MASTERBATION WINS AGAIN!