fic: at midnight
At Midnight
1300w;g
Onew/Taemin
I'm a little late but Happy Birthday my bias :)
-08-
Everyone is in bed before 11pm, growing boys thrust into a busy lifestyle getting sleep when they can, or something like that. Taemin’s covers are kicked to the floor, a frustrated heap, but he isn’t sleep. Tomorrow is the first time he won’t be celebrating his birthday as Lee Taemin, but as Lee Taemin-Maknae-Lead Dancer-Member of S.M. Entertainment’s New Group SHINee. It’s a mouthful even in his mind, a marquee of letters rolling under his eyelids.
Clocks everywhere are turning 11:43pm when he bursts onto the roof. He walks to the railing, looking out over into the thousands of lights as the wind pets his dark hair. Up here, he doesn’t feel like such a goldfish blinking wide eyed at all that’s happening to him.
Taemin tries to feel space and time move, tries to feel when he steps from one year into the next. His heart jumps into his throat when he hears a creak and he thinks for a moment that maybe he’s found the door to another dimension.
“Taemin? Why aren’t you sleeping?” It’s just Jinki, of course, the faithful leader always looking out.
“I’ll be back down in a minute hyung.” He doesn’t mean to be dismissive but Jinki doesn’t seem to understand his tone anyway, resting his elbows on the railing next to Taemin’s.
Jinki clears his throat. “It’s past midnight you know, we just started and you’re already getting old.”
“You’re still way older than me though.” The corner of Taemin’s mouth lifts despite himself.
“Don’t worry about tomorrow okay? We’ll have cake again back here, just the group. I bet your parents will call too.”
Jinki gets it.
-09-
“His birthday isn’t until tomorrow. How does he have so many tributes on youtube already?” Kibum mumbles at the laptop sitting on the table in front of him.
Jonghyun’s pouring a cup of coffee even though they have a concert tomorrow, but it doesn’t matter because they like to think they’re used to it now. “Why are you even looking at that stuff?”
“Checking out the competition.”
“We’re all in the same group, there is no competition.” Minho takes a bite out of an apple. Even his disgusting open mouthed chewing screams charisma. Kibum and Jonghyun roll their eyes.
“This is a nice one, hey Taemin come look.”
Taemin doesn’t want to look though. He doesn’t -“I’m going to the bathroom.”
It’s unusually cool for the middle of July but Taemin guesses that’s just what night does. He’s almost surprised to see Jinki at the rail, leaning on loosely folded arms, but then he remembers that he gets it. Taemin joins him and they watch in silence, the ticking of his eternal clock getting louder and louder.
Taemin tries to feel space and time move, tries to feel when he steps from one year into the next. He thinks he’s almost got it but no, its just Jinki sneezing.
“Hyung, go back inside.” Jinki just smiles and shakes his head, slides his arm across Taemin’s shoulder as he watches the stars. Really, Taemin’s kind of boney and Jinki’s arm is a bit heavy, but he doesn’t try to move it.
-10-
The buzz of anticipation for their upcoming album is a quieted sound in the back of Taemin’s mind as he blows out the candle on the cupcake Jinki handed to him. He’d been waiting for him again, a blanket spread out on the ground.
“You really didn’t have to do this.” Taemin tosses his head, reveling in the swish of hair around his face. Jinki laughs, grabbing a pinch of strands and sliding the captured icing off.
He licks his finger. “It’s just a cupcake.”
“For what? Technically its not my birthday for another few minutes.”
“For… letting me be the first to spend it with you?”
“I’m not letting you, you invited yourself.”
“Yah!”
Taemin calls dibs on the shower when they race back down because he’s the birthday boy and it’s the least Jinki could do because now his hair is longer and the icing will take awhile to wash out. Its not until suds are flowing down his back that he realizes he forgot to feel space and time move, forgot to try and feel when he stepped from one year into the next.
-11-
He must still have glitter on his neck from his performance with Kibum in Taiwan but that doesn’t completely explain Jinki’s expression. Taemin wants to ask but there’s something in the air that makes him feel doing so would change everything. A sound trills from his pocket and Taemin takes a step back from the ledge.
It’s a text from Jonghyun. ’2 minutes! Where are you? Don’t forget to make a wish~~ ^^’
Taemin tries to feel space and time move, tries to feel when he steps from one year into the next. Jinki’s still looking at him weird though and Taemin’s starting to get annoyed. Every year he wants a moment alone and every year Jinki is there messing up his attempts at understanding the universe.
“Hyung, what are you looking at?” He wipes at his cheek, his neck, but Jinki just shakes his head.
“The stars.” Taemin blinks. That can’t be right at all because Jinki is most definitely looking somewhere on his face-
“Hyung”
As clocks everywhere turn to 12am Taemin understands a little bit more about the universe.
The next day at Taemin’s birthday celebration Jinki gets scolded by the fans and he shyly protests that he already gave Taemin his gift.
-12-
It’s frustrating, that nothing happens, that Jinki withdraws. Again, Taemin wants to ask but he knows they communicate better in bad jokes and easy silences. He knows that this isn’t something that Jinki will explain. The only thing he doesn’t know, is when Jinki will come back to him, but things are happening and they are going places and his best friend will finally share a stage with him. So Taemin doesn’t wait. Space and time don’t wait for anyone.
He finds his voice. He finds his strength. He moves. He watches Jonghyun slip a stud into his ear and decides he wants to know how it feels.
Taemin doesn’t care about space (that isn’t shared) or time (spent understanding the universe). All he cares about is the door on the roof that remains shut. He sighs, draping himself over the railing, wondering how sad it would be if he accidentally dropped his watch and it killed someone. Wondering how the past year could have gone if he’d been braver.
He does drop his watch when the door bangs open behind him, his whole life and career flash before his eyes until an arm slips around his waist and tugs him backwards.
“Why are you hanging off of there? For fucks sake Taemin.” Its not often that Jinki curses, that he looks like he’s seen a ghost, that sweat breaks out on his forehead faster than in dance practice.
“I," Taemin’s mind tries to catch up with him, “killed someone.”
“WHAT?”
“No, no I mean… you came?”
Jinki seems to realize that he’s still clutching him, the heat from his arm seeping through Taemin’s shirt, what with the way he jerks back and tucks his hands in his pockets. “Of course I came.” He shrugs. “It’s like a tradition, or something.”
Taemin’s smile puts Jinki on guard, he can tell, but he stalks forward anyway. It’s his turn to brush his fingers around warmed cloth, his turn to find the stars in someone’s eyes. Its over before it even really starts because when Jinki reciprocates, Taemin’s smile bursts at the seams and their teeth clack, the sound ripping open the door to another dimension.
A clock chimes in Taemin’s heart and he feels himself step into something bigger than himself.
1300w;g
Onew/Taemin
I'm a little late but Happy Birthday my bias :)
-08-
Everyone is in bed before 11pm, growing boys thrust into a busy lifestyle getting sleep when they can, or something like that. Taemin’s covers are kicked to the floor, a frustrated heap, but he isn’t sleep. Tomorrow is the first time he won’t be celebrating his birthday as Lee Taemin, but as Lee Taemin-Maknae-Lead Dancer-Member of S.M. Entertainment’s New Group SHINee. It’s a mouthful even in his mind, a marquee of letters rolling under his eyelids.
Clocks everywhere are turning 11:43pm when he bursts onto the roof. He walks to the railing, looking out over into the thousands of lights as the wind pets his dark hair. Up here, he doesn’t feel like such a goldfish blinking wide eyed at all that’s happening to him.
Taemin tries to feel space and time move, tries to feel when he steps from one year into the next. His heart jumps into his throat when he hears a creak and he thinks for a moment that maybe he’s found the door to another dimension.
“Taemin? Why aren’t you sleeping?” It’s just Jinki, of course, the faithful leader always looking out.
“I’ll be back down in a minute hyung.” He doesn’t mean to be dismissive but Jinki doesn’t seem to understand his tone anyway, resting his elbows on the railing next to Taemin’s.
Jinki clears his throat. “It’s past midnight you know, we just started and you’re already getting old.”
“You’re still way older than me though.” The corner of Taemin’s mouth lifts despite himself.
“Don’t worry about tomorrow okay? We’ll have cake again back here, just the group. I bet your parents will call too.”
Jinki gets it.
-09-
“His birthday isn’t until tomorrow. How does he have so many tributes on youtube already?” Kibum mumbles at the laptop sitting on the table in front of him.
Jonghyun’s pouring a cup of coffee even though they have a concert tomorrow, but it doesn’t matter because they like to think they’re used to it now. “Why are you even looking at that stuff?”
“Checking out the competition.”
“We’re all in the same group, there is no competition.” Minho takes a bite out of an apple. Even his disgusting open mouthed chewing screams charisma. Kibum and Jonghyun roll their eyes.
“This is a nice one, hey Taemin come look.”
Taemin doesn’t want to look though. He doesn’t -“I’m going to the bathroom.”
It’s unusually cool for the middle of July but Taemin guesses that’s just what night does. He’s almost surprised to see Jinki at the rail, leaning on loosely folded arms, but then he remembers that he gets it. Taemin joins him and they watch in silence, the ticking of his eternal clock getting louder and louder.
Taemin tries to feel space and time move, tries to feel when he steps from one year into the next. He thinks he’s almost got it but no, its just Jinki sneezing.
“Hyung, go back inside.” Jinki just smiles and shakes his head, slides his arm across Taemin’s shoulder as he watches the stars. Really, Taemin’s kind of boney and Jinki’s arm is a bit heavy, but he doesn’t try to move it.
-10-
The buzz of anticipation for their upcoming album is a quieted sound in the back of Taemin’s mind as he blows out the candle on the cupcake Jinki handed to him. He’d been waiting for him again, a blanket spread out on the ground.
“You really didn’t have to do this.” Taemin tosses his head, reveling in the swish of hair around his face. Jinki laughs, grabbing a pinch of strands and sliding the captured icing off.
He licks his finger. “It’s just a cupcake.”
“For what? Technically its not my birthday for another few minutes.”
“For… letting me be the first to spend it with you?”
“I’m not letting you, you invited yourself.”
“Yah!”
Taemin calls dibs on the shower when they race back down because he’s the birthday boy and it’s the least Jinki could do because now his hair is longer and the icing will take awhile to wash out. Its not until suds are flowing down his back that he realizes he forgot to feel space and time move, forgot to try and feel when he stepped from one year into the next.
-11-
He must still have glitter on his neck from his performance with Kibum in Taiwan but that doesn’t completely explain Jinki’s expression. Taemin wants to ask but there’s something in the air that makes him feel doing so would change everything. A sound trills from his pocket and Taemin takes a step back from the ledge.
It’s a text from Jonghyun. ’2 minutes! Where are you? Don’t forget to make a wish~~ ^^’
Taemin tries to feel space and time move, tries to feel when he steps from one year into the next. Jinki’s still looking at him weird though and Taemin’s starting to get annoyed. Every year he wants a moment alone and every year Jinki is there messing up his attempts at understanding the universe.
“Hyung, what are you looking at?” He wipes at his cheek, his neck, but Jinki just shakes his head.
“The stars.” Taemin blinks. That can’t be right at all because Jinki is most definitely looking somewhere on his face-
“Hyung”
As clocks everywhere turn to 12am Taemin understands a little bit more about the universe.
The next day at Taemin’s birthday celebration Jinki gets scolded by the fans and he shyly protests that he already gave Taemin his gift.
-12-
It’s frustrating, that nothing happens, that Jinki withdraws. Again, Taemin wants to ask but he knows they communicate better in bad jokes and easy silences. He knows that this isn’t something that Jinki will explain. The only thing he doesn’t know, is when Jinki will come back to him, but things are happening and they are going places and his best friend will finally share a stage with him. So Taemin doesn’t wait. Space and time don’t wait for anyone.
He finds his voice. He finds his strength. He moves. He watches Jonghyun slip a stud into his ear and decides he wants to know how it feels.
Taemin doesn’t care about space (that isn’t shared) or time (spent understanding the universe). All he cares about is the door on the roof that remains shut. He sighs, draping himself over the railing, wondering how sad it would be if he accidentally dropped his watch and it killed someone. Wondering how the past year could have gone if he’d been braver.
He does drop his watch when the door bangs open behind him, his whole life and career flash before his eyes until an arm slips around his waist and tugs him backwards.
“Why are you hanging off of there? For fucks sake Taemin.” Its not often that Jinki curses, that he looks like he’s seen a ghost, that sweat breaks out on his forehead faster than in dance practice.
“I," Taemin’s mind tries to catch up with him, “killed someone.”
“WHAT?”
“No, no I mean… you came?”
Jinki seems to realize that he’s still clutching him, the heat from his arm seeping through Taemin’s shirt, what with the way he jerks back and tucks his hands in his pockets. “Of course I came.” He shrugs. “It’s like a tradition, or something.”
Taemin’s smile puts Jinki on guard, he can tell, but he stalks forward anyway. It’s his turn to brush his fingers around warmed cloth, his turn to find the stars in someone’s eyes. Its over before it even really starts because when Jinki reciprocates, Taemin’s smile bursts at the seams and their teeth clack, the sound ripping open the door to another dimension.
A clock chimes in Taemin’s heart and he feels himself step into something bigger than himself.