How A Resurrection Feels: Chapter 2
Title: How A Resurrection Feels
Author: isisizabel
Fandom: The Vampire Diaries (tv show)
Pairing(s): Bonnie/Damon; Anna/Jeremy; Elena/Stefan
Rating: R
Author's Note: This is the sequel to Tear the World Down. I highly recommend you read that first or risk massive amounts of confusion.
This fic will have NC-17 chapters later. Please join evening_ground if you'd like to be able to read them as those posts will be Member's Only locked.
Previous Chapters
How a Resurrection Feels
Chapter 2
“Where are you going?”
Jeremy hesitated at the bottom of the stairs, wrapping his hand tightly around the railing. He felt the wood start to grind and snap under his grip and he forced himself to ease off before he tore a chunk off. Sighing, he glanced back over his shoulder at Jenna. “Library.” The lie slid past his lips easily. While he didn’t relish the idea of lying to his aunt, he doubted she would handle “I’m going to kill an animal and drink its blood in the woods” very well.
Jenna braced both hands on the banister and fixed him with what they both assumed was a no-nonsense glare. “When will you be home?”
Jeremy felt his irritation rising. “Jesus, Jenna-”
“Don’t, Jeremy,” she snapped, cutting him off and holding her hand up. “After the stunts you pulled last month-”
“-and that was last month,” he reminded her, whirling around. He clenched his jaw tight, grinding his teeth as he felt his fangs start to descend. “I’ve been in by curfew every night. I don’t go out with anyone unless it’s with Elena or her friends. I haven’t done anything wrong.”
“Except O.D. and then go missing for weeks?” Jenna reminded him, her tone frosty. Her eyes flashed and she exhaled hard. All the fight suddenly seemed to fall out of her and she sank onto the top step, scrubbing her hands over her face. “Jer-”
As much as he wanted to be angry, Jeremy could feel his resolve crumbling. He knew the hell he had put Jenna through, and he truly regretted it. With a quieter sigh, he trudged back up the steps and sat down beside her. He looped an arm around her shoulders and held her against his side.
“I remember the day you were born,” Jenna muttered, looking at her hands. “Your mom was so excited. Elena had just started walking, and she followed you everywhere. Didn’t matter who had you, she always followed whoever was holding you. And your dad …”
Jeremy shifted, uncomfortable with the trip down memory lane. “Jenna-”
“I know I’m not your mom,” Jenna cut in, finally looking at him. “But I just want her to be proud, you know?”
He looked away. “I know. And I know I’ve messed up, but I’m trying.”
She laughed softly. “Not proud of you, Jer. I meant me. I want her to be proud of me. Your mom made it look so easy. Effortless. Most of the time I have no clue what the hell I’m doing.”
“You’re doing a good job, Jenna,” he assured her, squeezing her shoulders. “And I really am sorry for what I put you through. I promise I’m done with that.”
Jenna sniffed and glanced at him. She cracked a smile. “You better be, or next time I swear I’ll kick your ass.”
He laughed loudly at the idea of her kicking his ass, but nodded. “Got it.” He stood up and looked back at her. “I’ll be home in an hour or so.”
***
Jeremy hated rabbits. Not just because he had watched Bambi over a thousand times growing up and Thumper had always been his favorite, but they simply weren’t satisfying. The muscles were stringy and stuck in his fangs and there was just never enough. But something didn’t seem right about slaughtering an entire family of bunnies just so he could be full so he limited himself to one or two. He considered briefly venturing deeper into the woods where he knew the deer would be hiding, but Stefan had warned him last week he was thinning the herd that populated Mystic Falls.
Sighing, Jeremy covered the carcass under a mound of dirt and dried leaves. He rolled his shoulders, unable to shake the unease rolling through his veins. His body was craving blood, human blood. He considered making a brief run to the Salvatore’s, knowing Damon kept a healthy stock of blood bags in the refrigerator in the basement. His hunger made him agitated and he knew it was futile to keep trying to resist. He knew Elena wanted him to try Stefan’s diet of woodland creatures, but he just wasn’t ready to stop altogether.
His mind made up, Jeremy ran at full speed to the Salvatore house. He slowed when he reached the street, mindful of any people watching or cars driving by. He turned up the driveway and wasn’t the least surprised to see Bonnie’s car in the driveway. What did surprise him was the witch kicking the flat front tire of her car and cursing loudly.
“Car trouble?” he asked as he came closer.
Bonnie’s irritated frown broke into a genuine smile as he approached. “Hey, Jeremy.” She glanced back at the car, her expression souring. “Damn thing went flat. They’re doing all that construction on Mulberry and I think I picked up a nail.”
He nodded sympathetically and glanced towards the house. “Damon home?”
She shook her head., raking a hand through her messy curls. “He’s out. Something about running an errand in Richmond. Won’t be home until later. And Stefan’s with Elena … Guess I’ll call my dad.”
“I can change your tire if you want,” he offered with an amused smirk. He shoved his hands into his pockets.
She smiled again, relieved. “That’d be great. I don’t know a thing about cars except where the key goes.” She popped the trunk for him and showed him where the spare was located. She stepped back and watched him start to work on switching the tires.
“So what are you doing here?” she asked conversationally.
Jeremy twisted off the last lug nut and set it aside with the rest. He glanced at her over his shoulder. “Do you really want me to answer that?”
Her eyebrows went to her hairline and then she relaxed her face. “That sounds ominous.”
He removed the deflated tire with one hand. “It’s more …” His jaw tightened and he kept his eyes trained on the task in front of him.
“Ahh,” Bonnie said, starting to nod as realization dawned on her. “I don’t suppose this has anything to do with a certain refrigerator in the basement?”
“I just know how you feel about vampires and human blood,” he said softly, reaching for the donut tire. He paused and leaned back to study her.
“True,” she admitted, crouching down to his level and catching his eye, “but my boyfriend’s a vampire and because of the bond, I get it. I understand the cravings, so as long as he isn’t compelling living people or tearing out fully functioning carotids, I’m OK with the occasional blood bag.”
Jeremy smirked. “Even if it’s stolen?”
Bonnie shrugged, her green eyes glittering. “What’s a little petty theft considering all we’ve been through?”
He chuckled and finished tightening the bolts. “Right.” He got up and put the deflated tire into her trunk and shut the lid. He was starting back towards her when the box in the backseat caught his attention.
“What’s that?” he asked, jerking his head towards the interior of the car.
She moved around to his side and opened the door. “A bunch of books from Grams’. Actually, there’s something in here you might want to see.” She moved a few volumes around and then pulled out the one she was looking for, flipping towards the middle.
“Here it is!” She passed the book to him.
Jeremy’s fingers curled around the edge of the book. He froze, stunned to see Anna’s face looking back at him. His fingers traced the lines of her face on their own accord. He glanced back at Bonnie. “Where did you get this?”
“It belonged to one of my ancestors,” she replied with a shrug. “Damon and I found it last night. I’m not sure what it says, though. It’s in a different language.”
“Can you find out?” he demanded, his tone sharper than he intended.
If she was offended, Bonnie didn’t let on. She nodded. “That’s the plan. I think I know where to look. That’s where Damon is-there’s a book I need to translate it in the public library there.” She hesitated and rolled her eyes, crossing her arms under her chest. “Well, that and he figured he’d hit hospital there.”
Jeremy didn’t even notice the joke. “When can you have it finished?”
Her eyebrows lifted and she shrugged. “I don’t know. Depends on how easy it is to translate.”
“You can’t, like, do a spell or something?”
“Magic doesn’t work like that,” she answered softly, eyeing the way he was gripping the book. “Are you OK?”
He swallowed hard and looked back down, forcing himself to relax his grip. He tried to smile, but fail. Instead he handed the book back with obvious reluctance. “Is there anything I can do to help?”
She tucked the book against her side with an indulgent smile. “You’ll be my first call if there is.” Her gaze softened as she studied him. “You really cared about Anna, didn’t you?”
He flinched and then smoothed his expression out, going for nonchalance. “She was a good person. She trusted me, and she didn’t treat me like a little kid.”
Bonnie sighed. “Jeremy-”
He backed away when she reached for him. “I should go. Jenna wants me home in fifteen minutes.”
“Do you need me to let you in?” she offered, fishing for her key ring. Damon had given her a key to the house a few weeks earlier.
He shook his head. “I have one. Stefan gave it to me.”
She nodded and watched him trudge up the driveway, shoulders hunched as if he carried the weight of the world. Bonnie tightened her grip on the book, determined to translate it. Jeremy could use something good in his life right now, the book might be the key.
***
Bonnie would never get used to the dark house. She missed the lights and the warmth that seemed to glow from the inside. Now that Grams was gone, the house was an empty shell. A vacant reminder of a sharp loss. She hit the lock button on her key fob and the car’s headlights flashed, illuminating the path up the driveway. She was about to step onto the stones that led to the front porch when her phone started ringing. She fished it out of her pocket and smiled at the caller ID.
“Hey,” she said into the phone, trying to balance the book, her keys and the phone against her shoulder.
“Hey yourself,” Damon said. “I’m about ten minutes away.”
“I’m at Grams. I thought I’d see if any of her other books mentioned Anna or-what was her mother’s name?”
“Pearl,” he replied. “I thought we were meeting at my house.”
She sighed. “I know. But …”
“But?” he prompted.
“I saw Jeremy today. I showed him the book with Anna in it? You should’ve seen him, Damon. I need to figure out what this thing says,” she told him, shoving the key into lock.
Damon sighed. “Do you think that was a good idea?”
She stiffened, freezing. “Sure. Why not?”
He scoffed. “What if it says Anna and Pearl massacred an orphanage? That book doesn’t necessarily mean something good, Bonnie.”
She turned the knob and pushed it open. “Maybe not, but I have to try. Did you get the book I need?”
“Yeah,” he said wryly.
Bonnie winced. “Do I want to know how you got the book?”
He chuckled, the smirk evident in his tone. “Probably not.”
She stepped over the threshold and felt a crunch and heard the pop of glass smashing under her boot. “What the hell?” she muttered, confusion sweeping through her. And something else. A chill tripped up her spine.
“What?” Damon demanded, all teasing gone from his voice. “What’s wrong?”
Bonnie felt for the light switch and hit it. She hissed when the lights didn’t come on. She could practically hear Damon’s teeth grinding, knowing that with him only a few miles away he could feel her unease and fear. “Something’s not right. I think someone was in here. I’m pretty sure that was glass I stepped on, and the lights aren’t coming on.”
“Get back in your car,” he ordered, shifting into a higher gear and stepping on the gas. “I’ll be there in a minute.”
She rolled her eyes, annoyed with him for being bossy even if it was just his protective instincts kicking into high gear. “I can reach the flashlight. It’s in the drawer in the hallway across from me.”
“Dammit, Bonnie,” he barked. “Get in your damn car.” Tires squealed as he took a corner too hard and a horn blared.
“Damon-” Bonnie cut herself off when she heard more tires shriek, this time from down the street. She turned and saw him doing fifty down her street in the Mustang. The car lurched to a stop in front of the mailbox and he was out of the car and by her side in seconds.
His blue eyes flashed fire as he glared at her. “You just couldn’t listen, could you?” He grabbed her by the elbow, his touch gentle even if his tone wasn’t. He pulled her behind him. “Wait here.”
“Is someone-”
He silenced her by pressing his fingers to her mouth. He cocked his head, listening hard. He exhaled after a second and let her go. “No one’s here.”
She rolled her eyes. “Wonderful. Glad you cleared that up.”
He whirled and fixed her with a hard stare. “Can you stop being a smartass for a minute? No one is here, but somebody was. They still could have been, and you could have been walking into a trap.”
She arched a brow, challenging him. “You have another crazy ex I need to worry about?”
“Not funny,” he muttered, walking across the foyer. Glass crunched underfoot. He opened the top drawer of the small table in the entry way and flicked on the light, illuminating the damage.
“Oh, God,” Bonnie whispered, shocked. From the front doorway she could see bookcases had been knocked over, their contents hurled into a pile in the middle of the floor. The desk in the far corner was on its side, papers spewing from each drawer. Lamps had been smashed, glass ground into the wood and carpet.
Bonnie heard her phone clatter to the floor as she lost her grip on it. It fractured into three parts, the battery sliding across to floor to Damon. He picked it up gingerly, eyeing Bonnie closely.
“Who would have done this?” she asked, not really expecting him to answer.
Damon gaze hardened as he looked around, too. “I think the better question is why. Why would someone do this?”
I am insanely sorry for how long it took for me to update this, guys. My deepest apologies. On a side note? I'm hosting a giveaway on my blog: theirishbanana.blogspot.com. Check it out if you like free books.
Author: isisizabel
Fandom: The Vampire Diaries (tv show)
Pairing(s): Bonnie/Damon; Anna/Jeremy; Elena/Stefan
Rating: R
Author's Note: This is the sequel to Tear the World Down. I highly recommend you read that first or risk massive amounts of confusion.
This fic will have NC-17 chapters later. Please join evening_ground if you'd like to be able to read them as those posts will be Member's Only locked.
Previous Chapters
How a Resurrection Feels
Chapter 2
“Where are you going?”
Jeremy hesitated at the bottom of the stairs, wrapping his hand tightly around the railing. He felt the wood start to grind and snap under his grip and he forced himself to ease off before he tore a chunk off. Sighing, he glanced back over his shoulder at Jenna. “Library.” The lie slid past his lips easily. While he didn’t relish the idea of lying to his aunt, he doubted she would handle “I’m going to kill an animal and drink its blood in the woods” very well.
Jenna braced both hands on the banister and fixed him with what they both assumed was a no-nonsense glare. “When will you be home?”
Jeremy felt his irritation rising. “Jesus, Jenna-”
“Don’t, Jeremy,” she snapped, cutting him off and holding her hand up. “After the stunts you pulled last month-”
“-and that was last month,” he reminded her, whirling around. He clenched his jaw tight, grinding his teeth as he felt his fangs start to descend. “I’ve been in by curfew every night. I don’t go out with anyone unless it’s with Elena or her friends. I haven’t done anything wrong.”
“Except O.D. and then go missing for weeks?” Jenna reminded him, her tone frosty. Her eyes flashed and she exhaled hard. All the fight suddenly seemed to fall out of her and she sank onto the top step, scrubbing her hands over her face. “Jer-”
As much as he wanted to be angry, Jeremy could feel his resolve crumbling. He knew the hell he had put Jenna through, and he truly regretted it. With a quieter sigh, he trudged back up the steps and sat down beside her. He looped an arm around her shoulders and held her against his side.
“I remember the day you were born,” Jenna muttered, looking at her hands. “Your mom was so excited. Elena had just started walking, and she followed you everywhere. Didn’t matter who had you, she always followed whoever was holding you. And your dad …”
Jeremy shifted, uncomfortable with the trip down memory lane. “Jenna-”
“I know I’m not your mom,” Jenna cut in, finally looking at him. “But I just want her to be proud, you know?”
He looked away. “I know. And I know I’ve messed up, but I’m trying.”
She laughed softly. “Not proud of you, Jer. I meant me. I want her to be proud of me. Your mom made it look so easy. Effortless. Most of the time I have no clue what the hell I’m doing.”
“You’re doing a good job, Jenna,” he assured her, squeezing her shoulders. “And I really am sorry for what I put you through. I promise I’m done with that.”
Jenna sniffed and glanced at him. She cracked a smile. “You better be, or next time I swear I’ll kick your ass.”
He laughed loudly at the idea of her kicking his ass, but nodded. “Got it.” He stood up and looked back at her. “I’ll be home in an hour or so.”
***
Jeremy hated rabbits. Not just because he had watched Bambi over a thousand times growing up and Thumper had always been his favorite, but they simply weren’t satisfying. The muscles were stringy and stuck in his fangs and there was just never enough. But something didn’t seem right about slaughtering an entire family of bunnies just so he could be full so he limited himself to one or two. He considered briefly venturing deeper into the woods where he knew the deer would be hiding, but Stefan had warned him last week he was thinning the herd that populated Mystic Falls.
Sighing, Jeremy covered the carcass under a mound of dirt and dried leaves. He rolled his shoulders, unable to shake the unease rolling through his veins. His body was craving blood, human blood. He considered making a brief run to the Salvatore’s, knowing Damon kept a healthy stock of blood bags in the refrigerator in the basement. His hunger made him agitated and he knew it was futile to keep trying to resist. He knew Elena wanted him to try Stefan’s diet of woodland creatures, but he just wasn’t ready to stop altogether.
His mind made up, Jeremy ran at full speed to the Salvatore house. He slowed when he reached the street, mindful of any people watching or cars driving by. He turned up the driveway and wasn’t the least surprised to see Bonnie’s car in the driveway. What did surprise him was the witch kicking the flat front tire of her car and cursing loudly.
“Car trouble?” he asked as he came closer.
Bonnie’s irritated frown broke into a genuine smile as he approached. “Hey, Jeremy.” She glanced back at the car, her expression souring. “Damn thing went flat. They’re doing all that construction on Mulberry and I think I picked up a nail.”
He nodded sympathetically and glanced towards the house. “Damon home?”
She shook her head., raking a hand through her messy curls. “He’s out. Something about running an errand in Richmond. Won’t be home until later. And Stefan’s with Elena … Guess I’ll call my dad.”
“I can change your tire if you want,” he offered with an amused smirk. He shoved his hands into his pockets.
She smiled again, relieved. “That’d be great. I don’t know a thing about cars except where the key goes.” She popped the trunk for him and showed him where the spare was located. She stepped back and watched him start to work on switching the tires.
“So what are you doing here?” she asked conversationally.
Jeremy twisted off the last lug nut and set it aside with the rest. He glanced at her over his shoulder. “Do you really want me to answer that?”
Her eyebrows went to her hairline and then she relaxed her face. “That sounds ominous.”
He removed the deflated tire with one hand. “It’s more …” His jaw tightened and he kept his eyes trained on the task in front of him.
“Ahh,” Bonnie said, starting to nod as realization dawned on her. “I don’t suppose this has anything to do with a certain refrigerator in the basement?”
“I just know how you feel about vampires and human blood,” he said softly, reaching for the donut tire. He paused and leaned back to study her.
“True,” she admitted, crouching down to his level and catching his eye, “but my boyfriend’s a vampire and because of the bond, I get it. I understand the cravings, so as long as he isn’t compelling living people or tearing out fully functioning carotids, I’m OK with the occasional blood bag.”
Jeremy smirked. “Even if it’s stolen?”
Bonnie shrugged, her green eyes glittering. “What’s a little petty theft considering all we’ve been through?”
He chuckled and finished tightening the bolts. “Right.” He got up and put the deflated tire into her trunk and shut the lid. He was starting back towards her when the box in the backseat caught his attention.
“What’s that?” he asked, jerking his head towards the interior of the car.
She moved around to his side and opened the door. “A bunch of books from Grams’. Actually, there’s something in here you might want to see.” She moved a few volumes around and then pulled out the one she was looking for, flipping towards the middle.
“Here it is!” She passed the book to him.
Jeremy’s fingers curled around the edge of the book. He froze, stunned to see Anna’s face looking back at him. His fingers traced the lines of her face on their own accord. He glanced back at Bonnie. “Where did you get this?”
“It belonged to one of my ancestors,” she replied with a shrug. “Damon and I found it last night. I’m not sure what it says, though. It’s in a different language.”
“Can you find out?” he demanded, his tone sharper than he intended.
If she was offended, Bonnie didn’t let on. She nodded. “That’s the plan. I think I know where to look. That’s where Damon is-there’s a book I need to translate it in the public library there.” She hesitated and rolled her eyes, crossing her arms under her chest. “Well, that and he figured he’d hit hospital there.”
Jeremy didn’t even notice the joke. “When can you have it finished?”
Her eyebrows lifted and she shrugged. “I don’t know. Depends on how easy it is to translate.”
“You can’t, like, do a spell or something?”
“Magic doesn’t work like that,” she answered softly, eyeing the way he was gripping the book. “Are you OK?”
He swallowed hard and looked back down, forcing himself to relax his grip. He tried to smile, but fail. Instead he handed the book back with obvious reluctance. “Is there anything I can do to help?”
She tucked the book against her side with an indulgent smile. “You’ll be my first call if there is.” Her gaze softened as she studied him. “You really cared about Anna, didn’t you?”
He flinched and then smoothed his expression out, going for nonchalance. “She was a good person. She trusted me, and she didn’t treat me like a little kid.”
Bonnie sighed. “Jeremy-”
He backed away when she reached for him. “I should go. Jenna wants me home in fifteen minutes.”
“Do you need me to let you in?” she offered, fishing for her key ring. Damon had given her a key to the house a few weeks earlier.
He shook his head. “I have one. Stefan gave it to me.”
She nodded and watched him trudge up the driveway, shoulders hunched as if he carried the weight of the world. Bonnie tightened her grip on the book, determined to translate it. Jeremy could use something good in his life right now, the book might be the key.
***
Bonnie would never get used to the dark house. She missed the lights and the warmth that seemed to glow from the inside. Now that Grams was gone, the house was an empty shell. A vacant reminder of a sharp loss. She hit the lock button on her key fob and the car’s headlights flashed, illuminating the path up the driveway. She was about to step onto the stones that led to the front porch when her phone started ringing. She fished it out of her pocket and smiled at the caller ID.
“Hey,” she said into the phone, trying to balance the book, her keys and the phone against her shoulder.
“Hey yourself,” Damon said. “I’m about ten minutes away.”
“I’m at Grams. I thought I’d see if any of her other books mentioned Anna or-what was her mother’s name?”
“Pearl,” he replied. “I thought we were meeting at my house.”
She sighed. “I know. But …”
“But?” he prompted.
“I saw Jeremy today. I showed him the book with Anna in it? You should’ve seen him, Damon. I need to figure out what this thing says,” she told him, shoving the key into lock.
Damon sighed. “Do you think that was a good idea?”
She stiffened, freezing. “Sure. Why not?”
He scoffed. “What if it says Anna and Pearl massacred an orphanage? That book doesn’t necessarily mean something good, Bonnie.”
She turned the knob and pushed it open. “Maybe not, but I have to try. Did you get the book I need?”
“Yeah,” he said wryly.
Bonnie winced. “Do I want to know how you got the book?”
He chuckled, the smirk evident in his tone. “Probably not.”
She stepped over the threshold and felt a crunch and heard the pop of glass smashing under her boot. “What the hell?” she muttered, confusion sweeping through her. And something else. A chill tripped up her spine.
“What?” Damon demanded, all teasing gone from his voice. “What’s wrong?”
Bonnie felt for the light switch and hit it. She hissed when the lights didn’t come on. She could practically hear Damon’s teeth grinding, knowing that with him only a few miles away he could feel her unease and fear. “Something’s not right. I think someone was in here. I’m pretty sure that was glass I stepped on, and the lights aren’t coming on.”
“Get back in your car,” he ordered, shifting into a higher gear and stepping on the gas. “I’ll be there in a minute.”
She rolled her eyes, annoyed with him for being bossy even if it was just his protective instincts kicking into high gear. “I can reach the flashlight. It’s in the drawer in the hallway across from me.”
“Dammit, Bonnie,” he barked. “Get in your damn car.” Tires squealed as he took a corner too hard and a horn blared.
“Damon-” Bonnie cut herself off when she heard more tires shriek, this time from down the street. She turned and saw him doing fifty down her street in the Mustang. The car lurched to a stop in front of the mailbox and he was out of the car and by her side in seconds.
His blue eyes flashed fire as he glared at her. “You just couldn’t listen, could you?” He grabbed her by the elbow, his touch gentle even if his tone wasn’t. He pulled her behind him. “Wait here.”
“Is someone-”
He silenced her by pressing his fingers to her mouth. He cocked his head, listening hard. He exhaled after a second and let her go. “No one’s here.”
She rolled her eyes. “Wonderful. Glad you cleared that up.”
He whirled and fixed her with a hard stare. “Can you stop being a smartass for a minute? No one is here, but somebody was. They still could have been, and you could have been walking into a trap.”
She arched a brow, challenging him. “You have another crazy ex I need to worry about?”
“Not funny,” he muttered, walking across the foyer. Glass crunched underfoot. He opened the top drawer of the small table in the entry way and flicked on the light, illuminating the damage.
“Oh, God,” Bonnie whispered, shocked. From the front doorway she could see bookcases had been knocked over, their contents hurled into a pile in the middle of the floor. The desk in the far corner was on its side, papers spewing from each drawer. Lamps had been smashed, glass ground into the wood and carpet.
Bonnie heard her phone clatter to the floor as she lost her grip on it. It fractured into three parts, the battery sliding across to floor to Damon. He picked it up gingerly, eyeing Bonnie closely.
“Who would have done this?” she asked, not really expecting him to answer.
Damon gaze hardened as he looked around, too. “I think the better question is why. Why would someone do this?”
I am insanely sorry for how long it took for me to update this, guys. My deepest apologies. On a side note? I'm hosting a giveaway on my blog: theirishbanana.blogspot.com. Check it out if you like free books.