it's been a long time!
So here i am once again, about 2 months since my last entry and much has happened. Jake has left for the Army and hes been gone for about 3 and a half weeks now, it was tough at first: every night missing him a lot, crying more, and looking around my dorm room at pics and listening to music that reminded me of him. It was hard to say the least, but that horrible deperate feeling probably lasted for about a week, then i started feeling empowered, more and more each day i would gain more confidence with myself and my independence and it would be enough to get me to the next day. Here i sit more than three weeks after he left, stronger and more in love with him with every passing day (i dont know how that's possible) hes called me three times since hes been there and i have yet to receive any mail yet, but i hear it's coming any day now. I miss him of course, i love him more than ever but i know that hes worth the wait... however long the wait is.
So other than jake leaving ive had college to tend with. It's been challenging to balance school with all that's going on but ive managed. Trying to stay busy and stay healthy at the same time. Thanksgiving just passed and it was good to see my emmy and my family. And thats another good thing, with jake being gone ive found more free time to re-get to know my family. I spent the majority of my summer with jake because i knew it would be his last summer in wells for a while- so i tried to capture as many moments and memories with him as i could, i soaked it all in. Now i have more time to just hang with my family which has really helped, theyve been there for me when ive had rough nights missing jake and feeling lost. It means a lot.. it feels really good to find a positive out of the negative of him leaving.
So basically to sum this whole long novel of an entry up i'm good. I'm better than i've been in a long time- i'm better than i was before jake left too becuase ive gained so much self confidence and trust in myself. When he comes back in 21 days for xmas break i will be a different person, and he will too. He's having a good time and liking it down there for the most part, his unit is a little on the immature side but jakes rising to the challenge and leading the group.. i am so proud of him.
I cant wait to be with him at xmas.. ive never been happier "with" anyone in my entire life because for the first time in my life i felt like i could live my life on my own without someone to physically catch me when i fell, but now i have his love to fall back on when i feel low or sad... and that's enough, that has to be enough!! <3
PS: to 04090. i love you guys- all of you and i miss home! and to the '05-ers i love you too, you guys rock and i cant wait to see you all at xmas!!!! take care and finish up your finals so you can come home!!
So other than jake leaving ive had college to tend with. It's been challenging to balance school with all that's going on but ive managed. Trying to stay busy and stay healthy at the same time. Thanksgiving just passed and it was good to see my emmy and my family. And thats another good thing, with jake being gone ive found more free time to re-get to know my family. I spent the majority of my summer with jake because i knew it would be his last summer in wells for a while- so i tried to capture as many moments and memories with him as i could, i soaked it all in. Now i have more time to just hang with my family which has really helped, theyve been there for me when ive had rough nights missing jake and feeling lost. It means a lot.. it feels really good to find a positive out of the negative of him leaving.
So basically to sum this whole long novel of an entry up i'm good. I'm better than i've been in a long time- i'm better than i was before jake left too becuase ive gained so much self confidence and trust in myself. When he comes back in 21 days for xmas break i will be a different person, and he will too. He's having a good time and liking it down there for the most part, his unit is a little on the immature side but jakes rising to the challenge and leading the group.. i am so proud of him.
I cant wait to be with him at xmas.. ive never been happier "with" anyone in my entire life because for the first time in my life i felt like i could live my life on my own without someone to physically catch me when i fell, but now i have his love to fall back on when i feel low or sad... and that's enough, that has to be enough!! <3
PS: to 04090. i love you guys- all of you and i miss home! and to the '05-ers i love you too, you guys rock and i cant wait to see you all at xmas!!!! take care and finish up your finals so you can come home!!