cheap sex and sad films help me get where I belong.
When you think you're getting allergies for the first time in your life, even though it seems likely because it's been ridiculously hot for almost the entirety of March and that *has* to mess with plants' chemical makeup in some way -- you're most likely wrong. Yes, I am indeed sick. Sneezing my brains out. Go me.
I have this deep desire to see Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind right NOW.
Almost saw it the night it premiered, but then that thing happened when you're with your friends and you're about to leave and the movie's on in just a few minutes and you just keep talking, and all of a sudden you realize it started a half-an-hour ago.
But I finally picked up the Van Helsing issue of EW from where it's been sitting on my desk since Friday, and I read their review. And this part hit me:
Eternal Sunshine begins, in effect, at the bitter end of Joel and Clementine's relationship, when he discovers that she has had her memories of him entirely erased. Devastated, Joel pays a visit to Dr. Howard Mierzwiak (Tom Wilkinson), the dowdy mad scientist of memory elimination, who occupies what looks like a modest dentist's office. once there, Joel decides to undergo the procedure himself. As he lies, first in the office, then in his bed, in a trancelike sleep, his head strapped into a giant silver cap that is hooked to blinking machines run by Mierzwiak's techdweeb assistants (Mark Ruffalo and Elijah Wood), his memories don't die hard. They die softly, sadly. They're like peak moments of lost love unspooling in the revival theatre of his mind.
I think that's my worst fear. To lose memories of everything, and as you're losing them, they play out completely in your mind and you wish they weren't leaving you. The finality of lost memory, it's not something you can find again. You can't just all of a sudden, one day remember it again, like you can with something you've forgotten. And to lose something like that -- it's like my worst dreams. I find something amazing, discover something fantastical, and then it's just gone. It was never there. And I can never prove it ever existed. It's like it never did.
I think that's why AtS' I Will Remember You hit so hard with me the first time I watched it. What do you do when you have one minute left? You can say i'llneverforget over and over but it doesn't really make a difference anymore. Because suddenly, you've already forgotten. And it made me furious with Angel; he made a decision for her once again. There was nothing she could do to change it. That's the reasoning behind my problem with B/A...Angel has a tendency to make overbearing decisions for the 'good' of everyone else. Which makes me sigh and feel sorry for Angel's tragic flaw when it's regarding a great deal of people. But when it's in regards to a relationship? It makes me want to slap him in the face and say, "Fuck you. How DARE you disregard Buffy's own feelings, her ability to make a decision? Just because you think it's the best for her..." And see, I'm the kind of person who would actually do that in that sort of situation. Which is probably why most guys fear me. Huh.
I have a feeling that Eternal Sunshine is going to make me just collapse into a pitiful sobbing heap. Whereas movies like The Hours people declare "too depressing" and I squeal over all of the lovely angst, films like this just break me.
--
Am I the only one who is really peeved by communities like buffy_chorus? I hatehateHATE the overuse of quotes. And it seems like buffy_chorus inadvertently advocates that by causing a whole bunch of people to make icons with ONE quote.
How To Disappear Completely has been one of my favorite songs for years now. But now whenever I see yet another icon with "i'm not here/this isn't happening" it drives me insane. Which is not a good thing, because I love that song.
Film geek and elitist music bitch, signing out.
I have this deep desire to see Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind right NOW.
Almost saw it the night it premiered, but then that thing happened when you're with your friends and you're about to leave and the movie's on in just a few minutes and you just keep talking, and all of a sudden you realize it started a half-an-hour ago.
But I finally picked up the Van Helsing issue of EW from where it's been sitting on my desk since Friday, and I read their review. And this part hit me:
Eternal Sunshine begins, in effect, at the bitter end of Joel and Clementine's relationship, when he discovers that she has had her memories of him entirely erased. Devastated, Joel pays a visit to Dr. Howard Mierzwiak (Tom Wilkinson), the dowdy mad scientist of memory elimination, who occupies what looks like a modest dentist's office. once there, Joel decides to undergo the procedure himself. As he lies, first in the office, then in his bed, in a trancelike sleep, his head strapped into a giant silver cap that is hooked to blinking machines run by Mierzwiak's techdweeb assistants (Mark Ruffalo and Elijah Wood), his memories don't die hard. They die softly, sadly. They're like peak moments of lost love unspooling in the revival theatre of his mind.
I think that's my worst fear. To lose memories of everything, and as you're losing them, they play out completely in your mind and you wish they weren't leaving you. The finality of lost memory, it's not something you can find again. You can't just all of a sudden, one day remember it again, like you can with something you've forgotten. And to lose something like that -- it's like my worst dreams. I find something amazing, discover something fantastical, and then it's just gone. It was never there. And I can never prove it ever existed. It's like it never did.
I think that's why AtS' I Will Remember You hit so hard with me the first time I watched it. What do you do when you have one minute left? You can say i'llneverforget over and over but it doesn't really make a difference anymore. Because suddenly, you've already forgotten. And it made me furious with Angel; he made a decision for her once again. There was nothing she could do to change it. That's the reasoning behind my problem with B/A...Angel has a tendency to make overbearing decisions for the 'good' of everyone else. Which makes me sigh and feel sorry for Angel's tragic flaw when it's regarding a great deal of people. But when it's in regards to a relationship? It makes me want to slap him in the face and say, "Fuck you. How DARE you disregard Buffy's own feelings, her ability to make a decision? Just because you think it's the best for her..." And see, I'm the kind of person who would actually do that in that sort of situation. Which is probably why most guys fear me. Huh.
I have a feeling that Eternal Sunshine is going to make me just collapse into a pitiful sobbing heap. Whereas movies like The Hours people declare "too depressing" and I squeal over all of the lovely angst, films like this just break me.
--
Am I the only one who is really peeved by communities like buffy_chorus? I hatehateHATE the overuse of quotes. And it seems like buffy_chorus inadvertently advocates that by causing a whole bunch of people to make icons with ONE quote.
How To Disappear Completely has been one of my favorite songs for years now. But now whenever I see yet another icon with "i'm not here/this isn't happening" it drives me insane. Which is not a good thing, because I love that song.
Film geek and elitist music bitch, signing out.