Dear Mr.D

[evelon_dufane]

"Dear Mr.D"
By R.M.G

Any sudden movement,
Any quickened thought.
All the things I’ve let go,
And the thing’s I forgot.

How to trust with no worry,
To love without woe.
To hold it in my hands
And never let go

Bite the hand that loves you
Shy from those who care
I’m crushed by this sadness
This guilt that I bare

Never good enough,
Worthless
Careless
Thoughtless
Never good enough,
Bend and break
Give, don’t take.
I want to make things right
Never good enough
By the end of the night

They’re my own veins,
I can do what I please.
I can stand up tall,
Or I can beg on my knees.

I know, oh I know,
This is where I belong.
I know, yes I know,
I’ve been wrong all along.

I’m not worth a blink,
I’m not worth a kiss,
I’m not worth a phone call,
I cannot deny this.

Never good enough,
Hopeless
Helpless
Meaningless
Never good enough,
I know love is fake,
And as lies awake,
I want to make things right
But I’m never good enough
By the end of the night

Hate me, if it feels good.
Don’t worry; I do it too.
I can hate me without mercy,
I can be just like you.

We’re related, you see,
Yes, you and I.
Just like you,
I want me to die.

You held me down,
You counted me out
I’d silently let you win
As you’d drunkenly shout:

You’re not good enough,
You brat,
You whore,
You pathetic pig!
You’re dead to me!
You’re nothing to me!
You’re worthless to me!
I want you out without a fight!
You’re no daughter of mine
By the end of the night.

I didn’t want to believe you,
But you’ve gotten under my skin.
Miles away and years later,
You somehow still win.

I’m not ready to die,
But I just can’t shake you.
So how can I stop these thoughts?
What the Hell do I do?

So here’s to you, Dad.
Who said what I knew
You were kind when you were sober,
And I loved you too.