My brain is so jumbled...
Not so much of a rant as...confusion, and trying to sort it all out.
I've been really...scattered lately. The drama department at school has been working on the play "Amadeus" for the past seven weeks, and our last performance is tomorrow night. "Amadeus" has eaten my soul, and I'm just a minor character. I don't know how the main guys are making it through.
But getting home at 11:30 every night for three weeks, when you're used to getting home at 6:30 at the latest can really fuck with your head, you know? My homework has been slipping therefore my grades this grading period are going to be...less than stellar. ::cross eyed:: Which brings on a whole new net of worries. Once "Amadeus" is done, I have choir rehersal after school twice a week for our Spring Break performance tour in France. And while that won't be even half as time consuming as the play...Can I get my grades back up? I always say that I don't care about math or science...I'm going to be a theatre teacher, what do I need calculus and chemistry for? But when my grades in those classes fall, I fall apart. Yesterday I was sobbing in Algebra because I got my test score, and I only made an 81. For Mrs. Piscorz's Pre-AP Algebra II class, an 81 is NOT a bad grade. But I was weeping. Granted, a lot of that is stress from the play, and PMT, but a lot of it isn't.
I got into NHS this year. (National Honor Society.) Apparently, it's extreamly difficult to get into in one's Junior year (like me.) But I did it. I did't think much of it. I actually thought it was more trouble than it was worth, especially since the application process was so stressful in itself. But now that I'm in it...The hard part is staying in. I have to maintain a 4.0 average at least, I have to stay active in clubs (which is going to be difficult since I'm only in three of them as it is, and one of them meets on one of the days the choir rehersals will be held on.) And I'm really worried...Can I get my Algebra grade back up? My Chemistry? Or next semester will I get a note from the NHS sponser telling me to stop coming to meetings because I fail to meet the requirements anymore? I didn't expect to care about it this much...
And my head has been remembering some of the...oddest things lately. Things from middle school and 9th grade...Books I read years ago, movies I haven't seen since I was a kid. Wierd things. I don't know why. Maybe because it's just started to get cold (a Texan's idea of cold, that is...) down here and it's stirring up memories of past autumns and winters. Because I've been thinking of my 8th grade and freshman year choir winter concerts...Christmas carols that I haven't sung in three years are just popping up in my head and it's...Kind of sad. Like things were different back then. Simpler. But I don't want to go back, things are good now, just...busy. o.O;;
But I didn't go to school today (Mumsy thought I deserved a break), and I was watching NickJr...And wishing that I could just be a little kid again. I miss it. But I don't, too. Just...ugh. My brain hurts...
I need a pensieve, like in Harry Potter. I've just got too much in my head. ::falls over::
I've been really...scattered lately. The drama department at school has been working on the play "Amadeus" for the past seven weeks, and our last performance is tomorrow night. "Amadeus" has eaten my soul, and I'm just a minor character. I don't know how the main guys are making it through.
But getting home at 11:30 every night for three weeks, when you're used to getting home at 6:30 at the latest can really fuck with your head, you know? My homework has been slipping therefore my grades this grading period are going to be...less than stellar. ::cross eyed:: Which brings on a whole new net of worries. Once "Amadeus" is done, I have choir rehersal after school twice a week for our Spring Break performance tour in France. And while that won't be even half as time consuming as the play...Can I get my grades back up? I always say that I don't care about math or science...I'm going to be a theatre teacher, what do I need calculus and chemistry for? But when my grades in those classes fall, I fall apart. Yesterday I was sobbing in Algebra because I got my test score, and I only made an 81. For Mrs. Piscorz's Pre-AP Algebra II class, an 81 is NOT a bad grade. But I was weeping. Granted, a lot of that is stress from the play, and PMT, but a lot of it isn't.
I got into NHS this year. (National Honor Society.) Apparently, it's extreamly difficult to get into in one's Junior year (like me.) But I did it. I did't think much of it. I actually thought it was more trouble than it was worth, especially since the application process was so stressful in itself. But now that I'm in it...The hard part is staying in. I have to maintain a 4.0 average at least, I have to stay active in clubs (which is going to be difficult since I'm only in three of them as it is, and one of them meets on one of the days the choir rehersals will be held on.) And I'm really worried...Can I get my Algebra grade back up? My Chemistry? Or next semester will I get a note from the NHS sponser telling me to stop coming to meetings because I fail to meet the requirements anymore? I didn't expect to care about it this much...
And my head has been remembering some of the...oddest things lately. Things from middle school and 9th grade...Books I read years ago, movies I haven't seen since I was a kid. Wierd things. I don't know why. Maybe because it's just started to get cold (a Texan's idea of cold, that is...) down here and it's stirring up memories of past autumns and winters. Because I've been thinking of my 8th grade and freshman year choir winter concerts...Christmas carols that I haven't sung in three years are just popping up in my head and it's...Kind of sad. Like things were different back then. Simpler. But I don't want to go back, things are good now, just...busy. o.O;;
But I didn't go to school today (Mumsy thought I deserved a break), and I was watching NickJr...And wishing that I could just be a little kid again. I miss it. But I don't, too. Just...ugh. My brain hurts...
I need a pensieve, like in Harry Potter. I've just got too much in my head. ::falls over::