The voice of doom!
After a three-week hiatus, the Voice of Doom is back! Time for another almost-all-combat session! Woo, killing things and taking their treasure!
[Have I mentioned that Neyrr is nigh-indestructible?]
Jing: "In another game, I'd say 'Protect the mage...'"
Eric: "The mage can handle himself."
[I love how this is now our criteria for judging actions.]
Adam: "I activate the amulet."
Eric: "Do you know what it does?"
Adam: "No. But I know it's an artifact."
Eric: "Well, it probably can't make the situation worse."
[Jing's character Aily gets turned to stone.]
Eric: "Quick, while you're hardening, assume a cool pose!"
[Lyanna went first in combat, which meant that I got to cast my one offensive spell and all our enemies turned on me. They have no idea what they're in for.]
Julie: "I find it hilarious that it thinks I'm the biggest threat."
[There are multiple ways to measure fame.]
Eric: "I get statues in every city. The question is whether they get lit on fire after."
[Neyrr casts the 9th level spell Weird.]
Neyrr: "Do you want to see something really scary?"
[Azlo gets teleported into the middle of a volcano, which happens to be the lair of a colossal two-headed red dragon.]
Dragon: "Intruder!"
Azlo: *mumbles*
Bob: "I love how that's your reaction to a 2-headed dragon."
[You know you're epic level when...]
Adam: "Compared to the tarasque..."
Andrew the GM: "This thing will destroy the tarasque."
Adam: "That worries me."
[Azlo debates whether to fight the two-headed dragon single-handed.]
Adam: "It would be a heroic death."
Eric: "Heroic might not be the word."
[Azlo deals 540 damage in a single shot and is nearly ready to pass the initiative over to the two-headed dragon.]
Adam: "Hold on a second. I can do something even funnier. Sorry, Andrew."
[In one round, Azlo manages to deal 757 damage to the two-headed dragon and kill it.]
Julie: "You dealt 850 damage to the tarasque. I'm disappointed in you."
Bob: "Yeah, you underachiever!"
[One of our enemies casts a chain lightning spell that's been turned into sonic energy instead of electricity.]
Adam: "You can't do that."
Andrew the GM: "You just dealt 750 damage to a dragon. Yes, I can."
[In the lair of the Lich Queen, evil is pretty much assumed.]
Erin: "Is he evil?"
Adam: "I think in this castle, we can stop asking that question."
[One of our old enemies, Malik the Godless, reappears and asks us to come with him to the Lich Queen's throne room.]
Malik: "I'm asking nicely."
Neyrr: "It's true. He said please. That's unprecedented."
[Malik discovers Azlo activated his amulet without the foggiest idea of what it does.]
Malik: "He's an idiot and going to get you all killed."
Zath: "We know that."
Azlo: "For the record, I'm the only one that's died recently!"
[Oh, words with multiple meanings, how useful you are.]
Malik: (incredulously) "How have you gotten this far?"
Asera: "We're special."
Malik: "Yes. That's the word I was going to use."
[The impostor "Zath" emerges to find us in discussion with Malik and his 20 ur-priests.]
"Zath": "They're not attacking. I assume they're allies."
Lyanna: "I wouldn't go that far."
Zath: "Acquaintances."
[Malik has done nothing but complain about our methods since we met him.]
Zath: "Are you going to tell us why you're opposed to everything we do, or are you just going to stand here being negative?"
Malik: "I'm good at being negative."
[Malik suggests that if the Lich Queen betrays him, he'd be willing to switch sides.]
Neyrr: "What's it worth to you to just switch sides now preemptively?"
[We discover some of Azlo's very old allies, whom he doesn't really care about anymore.]
Julie: "Lyanna wouldn't think this, but 'Ooh, fodder!'"
[Eric tries to comfort me. He's not doing a very good job.]
Eric: "Oh, come on! What are the chances of their being a fourth antimagic field in one dungeon?"
That's it for this week, kiddies! Next week, if all goes according to plan, we fight the Lich Queen herself and finally get ourselves out of this ruttin' dungeon and back to the plot!
[Have I mentioned that Neyrr is nigh-indestructible?]
Jing: "In another game, I'd say 'Protect the mage...'"
Eric: "The mage can handle himself."
[I love how this is now our criteria for judging actions.]
Adam: "I activate the amulet."
Eric: "Do you know what it does?"
Adam: "No. But I know it's an artifact."
Eric: "Well, it probably can't make the situation worse."
[Jing's character Aily gets turned to stone.]
Eric: "Quick, while you're hardening, assume a cool pose!"
[Lyanna went first in combat, which meant that I got to cast my one offensive spell and all our enemies turned on me. They have no idea what they're in for.]
Julie: "I find it hilarious that it thinks I'm the biggest threat."
[There are multiple ways to measure fame.]
Eric: "I get statues in every city. The question is whether they get lit on fire after."
[Neyrr casts the 9th level spell Weird.]
Neyrr: "Do you want to see something really scary?"
[Azlo gets teleported into the middle of a volcano, which happens to be the lair of a colossal two-headed red dragon.]
Dragon: "Intruder!"
Azlo: *mumbles*
Bob: "I love how that's your reaction to a 2-headed dragon."
[You know you're epic level when...]
Adam: "Compared to the tarasque..."
Andrew the GM: "This thing will destroy the tarasque."
Adam: "That worries me."
[Azlo debates whether to fight the two-headed dragon single-handed.]
Adam: "It would be a heroic death."
Eric: "Heroic might not be the word."
[Azlo deals 540 damage in a single shot and is nearly ready to pass the initiative over to the two-headed dragon.]
Adam: "Hold on a second. I can do something even funnier. Sorry, Andrew."
[In one round, Azlo manages to deal 757 damage to the two-headed dragon and kill it.]
Julie: "You dealt 850 damage to the tarasque. I'm disappointed in you."
Bob: "Yeah, you underachiever!"
[One of our enemies casts a chain lightning spell that's been turned into sonic energy instead of electricity.]
Adam: "You can't do that."
Andrew the GM: "You just dealt 750 damage to a dragon. Yes, I can."
[In the lair of the Lich Queen, evil is pretty much assumed.]
Erin: "Is he evil?"
Adam: "I think in this castle, we can stop asking that question."
[One of our old enemies, Malik the Godless, reappears and asks us to come with him to the Lich Queen's throne room.]
Malik: "I'm asking nicely."
Neyrr: "It's true. He said please. That's unprecedented."
[Malik discovers Azlo activated his amulet without the foggiest idea of what it does.]
Malik: "He's an idiot and going to get you all killed."
Zath: "We know that."
Azlo: "For the record, I'm the only one that's died recently!"
[Oh, words with multiple meanings, how useful you are.]
Malik: (incredulously) "How have you gotten this far?"
Asera: "We're special."
Malik: "Yes. That's the word I was going to use."
[The impostor "Zath" emerges to find us in discussion with Malik and his 20 ur-priests.]
"Zath": "They're not attacking. I assume they're allies."
Lyanna: "I wouldn't go that far."
Zath: "Acquaintances."
[Malik has done nothing but complain about our methods since we met him.]
Zath: "Are you going to tell us why you're opposed to everything we do, or are you just going to stand here being negative?"
Malik: "I'm good at being negative."
[Malik suggests that if the Lich Queen betrays him, he'd be willing to switch sides.]
Neyrr: "What's it worth to you to just switch sides now preemptively?"
[We discover some of Azlo's very old allies, whom he doesn't really care about anymore.]
Julie: "Lyanna wouldn't think this, but 'Ooh, fodder!'"
[Eric tries to comfort me. He's not doing a very good job.]
Eric: "Oh, come on! What are the chances of their being a fourth antimagic field in one dungeon?"
That's it for this week, kiddies! Next week, if all goes according to plan, we fight the Lich Queen herself and finally get ourselves out of this ruttin' dungeon and back to the plot!