URDR - Multiverse Defense
Episode 19 and nearing the end! In this episode, Our Heroes (tm) dealt with Nidhogg’s nigh-endless army of armored soldiers in an infiltration mission that quickly became a “shoot them until they’re all dead” mission. Well, sorta.
[The Witches call a war council to announce that they’ve discovered the factory producing the armor for Nidhogg’s soldiers. They are prepared to go in guns blazing.]
Fox: “I always like to hear that we can solve the problem by exploding something.”
[Some are worried that the factory might be a trap. Others… not so much.]
Anton: “I don’t care if it’s a trap, because the best way to deal with a trap is to walk in head-first with an army of demons and march over their mangled corpses.”
[If things go bad, they’re gonna go really bad.]
Yalia: “I wouldn’t feel comfortable taking on several hundred thousand. Not all at once, anyway.”
[The Witches ask for our input.]
Eric the GM: “Since the four of you pretty much constitute URDR’s top decision-makers…”
Julie: “That’s so scary.”
Eric the GM: “Yes. Yes, it is.”
[The good news is that we know where the armor-making factory is. The bad news is we have no idea what’s inside.]
Yalia: “I’m guessing there’s not gonna be a helpful map saying, ‘suit is here’?”
Fox: “You never know.”
[We think about how we could find the prime suit of armor once we enter the facility.]
Anton: “I could use my gummy bear divination spells.”
Yalia: “They’re really slow.”
Eric the GM: “It’s a valid point.”
Stuart: “They have tiny legs!”
[More of the same.]
Yalia: “Could you just use something other than gummy bears?”
Anton: “I could, but once you open the bag, they go bad.”
[The Witches have arranged for a distraction in the form of Peg-Leg Nick, a character we encountered way back in session 1, who now is a sky pirate with a seriously impressive personal arsenal.]
Axcevent: “I’m not sure you’re conspicuous enough.”
Nick: “You haven’t seen my crew!”
[We continue to consider the armor-making factory. Yalia brings up the possibility that the prime suit of armor might have a guardian.]
Anton: “Historically we do well with big monsters and poorly with complicated plans.”
[Of course, once we reach the prime suit, we’ll need to disable it.]
Anton: “How can we disable whoever’s in the suit?”
Yalia: “Stasis field? Gelatinous cube?”
Axcevent: “Drop a building on them?”
[A sign that the talking part of the session has come to an end.]
Anton: “Do we have all the options covered?”
Yalia: “No, but that’s never stopped us before.”
[Behold: our plan.]
Axcevent: “I think that’s a solid Plan A: walk in the front door.”
[We enter the facility, seemingly unimpeded.]
Stuart: “It’s time for scrying!”
Eric the GM: “It’s always time for scrying.”
[Sadly, the unimpeded nature of our infiltration is short-lived as we get into combat with some soldiers guarding a secure room.]
Eric the GM: “They pump you full of superheated plasma.”
Stuart: “I object!”
[Yalia really wants to know what the soldiers are guarding. Sadly, something is blocking her attempts to dimension door beyond them.]
Yalia: “I don’t think I can get in there. And that annoys me to no end.”
[Eric the GM had informed us that it was theoretically possible to get through the session with no combat. Not that it turned out that way.]
Eric the GM: “You made a few small errors early on. The jig was up before the band had finished tuning its instruments.”
[We finish fighting the soldiers and find out what they were guarding.]
Eric the GM: “You appear to be in a treasure room.”
Julie: “Yalia’s eyes light up.”
[We raid the treasure room and move on to the second secure area of the factory, only to encounter yet more soldiers.]
Stuart: “I cast. I was ready for this.”
Eric the GM: “They were more ready.”
[One of the weapons Fox raided from the treasure room was a bazooka, which quickly reveals itself to have a mind of its own.]
Stuart: “It’s an intelligent bazooka!”
Eric the GM: “For certain values of intelligence.”
[The bazooka makes its opening gambit.]
Bazooka: “I can help. I can destroy your enemies. Let me help.”
Fox: “That sounds like a pretty compelling offer.”
[Combat ensues.]
Eric the GM: “Who specifically has hit the ground?”
Julie: “I hit the ceiling.”
[Axcevent discovers that some of his weapons may also be… special.]
Eric the GM: “You definitely slice through something.”
Robert: “Huh! That might be vorpal.”
Eric the GM: “Ish. Vorpal-ish.”
Robert: “I love finding out what weapons do in the middle of combat.”
[Meanwhile, back with Fox…]
Eric the GM: “You really want to use the bazooka again. You don’t have anything else nearly this effective.”
Sabina: “Yeah, see!”
[When you know that the combat has gotten a little strange.]
Stuart: “Robert, can I borrow your arms?”
Robert: “Okay, but give them back in good condition.”
[We finally fight through the soldiers and find the prime armor, which has been seeking out Fox ever since she killed Noah Tanzer.]
Anton: “I have faith in your willpower.”
Axcevent: “I dunno - she’s been using that bazooka a lot.”
Anton: “Fair point.”
[Fox puts on the prime armor and merges with it. Yalia teleports everyone up to Nick’s sky-ship.]
Nick: “So, are they gonna stop shooting at us any time soon?”
Yalia: “Oh, probably not.”
[Literally thirty seconds later…]
Fox: *turns off all of the soldiers’ armor suits*
Yalia: “Oh, hey, I was wrong!”
[Now that the soldiers are dealt with, we investigate the third secure room in the factory.]
Stuart: “I will open the door in the traditional way.”
Eric the GM: “And the door is gone.”
[With all the soldiers dealt with, there is only one more obstacle in our path…]
Stuart: “I’m in favor of saving the multiverse.”
Julie: “My skills are a whole lot less useful if there’s no multiverse.”
Stuart: “Mine too.”
Next time, it’s the grand finale! Everything on the line, including our very lives and the lives of everyone who ever existed! Will the forces of URDR prevail? Only time will tell!
[The Witches call a war council to announce that they’ve discovered the factory producing the armor for Nidhogg’s soldiers. They are prepared to go in guns blazing.]
Fox: “I always like to hear that we can solve the problem by exploding something.”
[Some are worried that the factory might be a trap. Others… not so much.]
Anton: “I don’t care if it’s a trap, because the best way to deal with a trap is to walk in head-first with an army of demons and march over their mangled corpses.”
[If things go bad, they’re gonna go really bad.]
Yalia: “I wouldn’t feel comfortable taking on several hundred thousand. Not all at once, anyway.”
[The Witches ask for our input.]
Eric the GM: “Since the four of you pretty much constitute URDR’s top decision-makers…”
Julie: “That’s so scary.”
Eric the GM: “Yes. Yes, it is.”
[The good news is that we know where the armor-making factory is. The bad news is we have no idea what’s inside.]
Yalia: “I’m guessing there’s not gonna be a helpful map saying, ‘suit is here’?”
Fox: “You never know.”
[We think about how we could find the prime suit of armor once we enter the facility.]
Anton: “I could use my gummy bear divination spells.”
Yalia: “They’re really slow.”
Eric the GM: “It’s a valid point.”
Stuart: “They have tiny legs!”
[More of the same.]
Yalia: “Could you just use something other than gummy bears?”
Anton: “I could, but once you open the bag, they go bad.”
[The Witches have arranged for a distraction in the form of Peg-Leg Nick, a character we encountered way back in session 1, who now is a sky pirate with a seriously impressive personal arsenal.]
Axcevent: “I’m not sure you’re conspicuous enough.”
Nick: “You haven’t seen my crew!”
[We continue to consider the armor-making factory. Yalia brings up the possibility that the prime suit of armor might have a guardian.]
Anton: “Historically we do well with big monsters and poorly with complicated plans.”
[Of course, once we reach the prime suit, we’ll need to disable it.]
Anton: “How can we disable whoever’s in the suit?”
Yalia: “Stasis field? Gelatinous cube?”
Axcevent: “Drop a building on them?”
[A sign that the talking part of the session has come to an end.]
Anton: “Do we have all the options covered?”
Yalia: “No, but that’s never stopped us before.”
[Behold: our plan.]
Axcevent: “I think that’s a solid Plan A: walk in the front door.”
[We enter the facility, seemingly unimpeded.]
Stuart: “It’s time for scrying!”
Eric the GM: “It’s always time for scrying.”
[Sadly, the unimpeded nature of our infiltration is short-lived as we get into combat with some soldiers guarding a secure room.]
Eric the GM: “They pump you full of superheated plasma.”
Stuart: “I object!”
[Yalia really wants to know what the soldiers are guarding. Sadly, something is blocking her attempts to dimension door beyond them.]
Yalia: “I don’t think I can get in there. And that annoys me to no end.”
[Eric the GM had informed us that it was theoretically possible to get through the session with no combat. Not that it turned out that way.]
Eric the GM: “You made a few small errors early on. The jig was up before the band had finished tuning its instruments.”
[We finish fighting the soldiers and find out what they were guarding.]
Eric the GM: “You appear to be in a treasure room.”
Julie: “Yalia’s eyes light up.”
[We raid the treasure room and move on to the second secure area of the factory, only to encounter yet more soldiers.]
Stuart: “I cast. I was ready for this.”
Eric the GM: “They were more ready.”
[One of the weapons Fox raided from the treasure room was a bazooka, which quickly reveals itself to have a mind of its own.]
Stuart: “It’s an intelligent bazooka!”
Eric the GM: “For certain values of intelligence.”
[The bazooka makes its opening gambit.]
Bazooka: “I can help. I can destroy your enemies. Let me help.”
Fox: “That sounds like a pretty compelling offer.”
[Combat ensues.]
Eric the GM: “Who specifically has hit the ground?”
Julie: “I hit the ceiling.”
[Axcevent discovers that some of his weapons may also be… special.]
Eric the GM: “You definitely slice through something.”
Robert: “Huh! That might be vorpal.”
Eric the GM: “Ish. Vorpal-ish.”
Robert: “I love finding out what weapons do in the middle of combat.”
[Meanwhile, back with Fox…]
Eric the GM: “You really want to use the bazooka again. You don’t have anything else nearly this effective.”
Sabina: “Yeah, see!”
[When you know that the combat has gotten a little strange.]
Stuart: “Robert, can I borrow your arms?”
Robert: “Okay, but give them back in good condition.”
[We finally fight through the soldiers and find the prime armor, which has been seeking out Fox ever since she killed Noah Tanzer.]
Anton: “I have faith in your willpower.”
Axcevent: “I dunno - she’s been using that bazooka a lot.”
Anton: “Fair point.”
[Fox puts on the prime armor and merges with it. Yalia teleports everyone up to Nick’s sky-ship.]
Nick: “So, are they gonna stop shooting at us any time soon?”
Yalia: “Oh, probably not.”
[Literally thirty seconds later…]
Fox: *turns off all of the soldiers’ armor suits*
Yalia: “Oh, hey, I was wrong!”
[Now that the soldiers are dealt with, we investigate the third secure room in the factory.]
Stuart: “I will open the door in the traditional way.”
Eric the GM: “And the door is gone.”
[With all the soldiers dealt with, there is only one more obstacle in our path…]
Stuart: “I’m in favor of saving the multiverse.”
Julie: “My skills are a whole lot less useful if there’s no multiverse.”
Stuart: “Mine too.”
Next time, it’s the grand finale! Everything on the line, including our very lives and the lives of everyone who ever existed! Will the forces of URDR prevail? Only time will tell!