This is a pretty interesting series of links, and discussion thereof. I too was generally praised as a child and now have crushing insecurites and fear of failure.
So maybe Heinlein was on to something after all. Fear is the mind-killer... ;) /nitpick You mean Herbert? ;)
I was always given the impression that if you don't show the 'talent' for it, you shouldn't waste your time doing it, because you'll always be fighting against your lack of aptitude, and you can more productively use your time by sticking to what you're already good at, and trying to be better at it than others. If you can't do it with high success, and you probably never will be able to excell at it even -with- effort, then for *you*, it's not worth doing and you shouldn't waste your time and effort on it. Logically this makes some sense; it's basically Ricardo's Law Of Comparative Advantage. Which just goes to show that logic and efficiency aren't always the best way to live a happy life.
Looking back on it, that explains a lot of things about my brain; why I'm so competitive but not in a healthy way, how I compare myselves to other people, how I am afraid to try new things and new skills, even new -games-, because I don't want to look like a fool when I am not good at them, and how even conversations about things I don't know or don't understand tend to leave me feeling quietly miserable, because I realize I am failing at this as well.
Fear is the mind-killer... ;)
/nitpick
You mean Herbert? ;)
I was always given the impression that if you don't show the 'talent' for it, you shouldn't waste your time doing it, because you'll always be fighting against your lack of aptitude, and you can more productively use your time by sticking to what you're already good at, and trying to be better at it than others. If you can't do it with high success, and you probably never will be able to excell at it even -with- effort, then for *you*, it's not worth doing and you shouldn't waste your time and effort on it. Logically this makes some sense; it's basically Ricardo's Law Of Comparative Advantage. Which just goes to show that logic and efficiency aren't always the best way to live a happy life.
Looking back on it, that explains a lot of things about my brain; why I'm so competitive but not in a healthy way, how I compare myselves to other people, how I am afraid to try new things and new skills, even new -games-, because I don't want to look like a fool when I am not good at them, and how even conversations about things I don't know or don't understand tend to leave me feeling quietly miserable, because I realize I am failing at this as well.
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ARGH!!!
yes. :)
Yep, logically it all makes sense. But it can keep you from living a richer life. You don't have to be good at something to enjoy it throughly. :)
....admittedly I *still* loathe wiz-war. that damn game! ;)
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