so i lit a fire...
i am so bi polar i swear
i meet at tomorrow at school really early then we heading down the Shelby for NCTC. I am pretty pumped.
i had one of those i heart huckabees, matrix moments today where i questioned reality and pondered a lot. Like wathched the little floater things that you see in your eye, and put my face sideways and made my vision double and wondered which was real the world where everything is double or the world where it is just single. haha
and i looked up at the sky and tried to invert it so where the clouds were just like a wall right in front of my face, sort of like The Truman Show when he finally runs into the end of the studio. Its funny if you try hard, you can imagine the sky as a straight endless space, or you can see it as a smooth dome ceiling... and i bet i sound really stupid right now. but todays sky was good, because their was enough blue to find it hard to undestand where the sky starts to turn blue, and there were a lot of different tpyes of clouds that seemed to ripple and step off into infinity. it was nice.
i went running today, first actual excerise in a while. these small things do a lot for me. i ran up my gpas driveway and back... which is a lot...and i did yoga at the top and then layed on the ground for a long time like a hippy. I need to be fit to be happy. its a lovely feeling to accomplish a good work out. i feel more successful. not entirely.
i realize i really miss soccer. i dont know if it was the team or if it was the pressure and love of the game, but it was always something to focus on. Maybe i miss my intensedevotion to something. I was so determined my freshman year playing soccer i stayed after practice everyday, and breathed soccer websites and ran and crunched, i miss that sucess, that was so lovely the process of just achieving and excelling, and still being like last string but feeling so good about myself. i was fit then, and i was last year like hard core fit expecially in preparing for tryouts at the gym, i was a beast, until i quit. I am still not a total lard, but i like myself better when i feel strong and able to work out and not feel like i am gonna die.
i wish i had time to organize my life, and not have to scurry around.
i really do ramble a lot..
nighty night
and i am really excited bout tomorrow. wakin up early and sleeping on the bus!! how i love this little group of actors.
i meet at tomorrow at school really early then we heading down the Shelby for NCTC. I am pretty pumped.
i had one of those i heart huckabees, matrix moments today where i questioned reality and pondered a lot. Like wathched the little floater things that you see in your eye, and put my face sideways and made my vision double and wondered which was real the world where everything is double or the world where it is just single. haha
and i looked up at the sky and tried to invert it so where the clouds were just like a wall right in front of my face, sort of like The Truman Show when he finally runs into the end of the studio. Its funny if you try hard, you can imagine the sky as a straight endless space, or you can see it as a smooth dome ceiling... and i bet i sound really stupid right now. but todays sky was good, because their was enough blue to find it hard to undestand where the sky starts to turn blue, and there were a lot of different tpyes of clouds that seemed to ripple and step off into infinity. it was nice.
i went running today, first actual excerise in a while. these small things do a lot for me. i ran up my gpas driveway and back... which is a lot...and i did yoga at the top and then layed on the ground for a long time like a hippy. I need to be fit to be happy. its a lovely feeling to accomplish a good work out. i feel more successful. not entirely.
i realize i really miss soccer. i dont know if it was the team or if it was the pressure and love of the game, but it was always something to focus on. Maybe i miss my intensedevotion to something. I was so determined my freshman year playing soccer i stayed after practice everyday, and breathed soccer websites and ran and crunched, i miss that sucess, that was so lovely the process of just achieving and excelling, and still being like last string but feeling so good about myself. i was fit then, and i was last year like hard core fit expecially in preparing for tryouts at the gym, i was a beast, until i quit. I am still not a total lard, but i like myself better when i feel strong and able to work out and not feel like i am gonna die.
i wish i had time to organize my life, and not have to scurry around.
i really do ramble a lot..
nighty night
and i am really excited bout tomorrow. wakin up early and sleeping on the bus!! how i love this little group of actors.