Relationships & Opportunity Cost
The Next Best Alternative - Is there someone better out there?
In economics, opportunity cost is defined as the cost of an alternative that must be forgone in order to pursue a certain action.
There fore, if you are pursuing Person A, the opportunity cost may be Person B, who you could be pursuing instead.
However, you could also be “playing the field”, “exploring your options”, or “seeing what’s out there”, etc etc. - however you want to put it. Personally, I’ve never been very good at sports, so playing in any sort of field, much less THE field, probably wouldn’t work so well for me. In addition, even if you were going out with multiple people at once, you would probably have to choose one or none in the end, unless you are just a big ho who just wants to get in everyone’s pants. In that case, you can just go f*ck yourself and leave the rest of us alone. We value our time. Thanks :)
Are people constantly looking for someone better? When do we stop looking?
I think everyone wonders at some point or another “Is there someone else better out there for me?” I believe this may be the result of a variety of possibilities:
1. You are not sure if the person you are going out with is the right person. There are certain flaws you just cannot seem to look past. Maybe you don’t even know what it is, but you know there’s just something not right that bothers you and may end up being wishy washy about the relationship.
I have found that when I am unsure, then it’s 99.99999% a NO. Sometimes it’s an OH HELL NO WTF WERE YOU THINKING?! You may just be lonely and want someone there. Asking all your friends “Do I really like him?????” means NO, you DON’T. If you really did, you’d be skipping on rainbows, smiling like an idiot and it wouldn’t matter what your friends thought. But if someone really made you that happy then I’m sure your friends would love them too.
A good majority of your friend’s impressions of the person come from YOU. What you tell your friends is a reflection of how you feel about the person. If all you do is talk shit about the person you’re going out with, then your friends will obviously hate the person. Girls always get treated like shit and complain to their friends and then wonder why their friends hate the guy so much. If all you talk about is how wonderful and romantic life is with your special person then your friends might throw up a little, but at least they’ll be happy for you and know that you’re in a good relationship!
2. You are interested in someone, but are afraid of ultimately being rejected. You may be unsure if the person is also equally as interested in you. As a defense mechanism, you start to doubt that this relationship will work out and start pursuing or looking around for other options.
Okay, EVERYONE is afraid of being rejected. This is very normal, but if you have someone you really like, then it’s okay to take a risk sometimes. We all overanalyze and psych ourselves out (unless you’re a douche who assumes everyone is interested). It’s also normal to want to find back up options in case this one is a fail, but usually a back up option is a back up for a reason.
Of course it hurts less if one out of five people you are seeing dump you, instead of one out of one person. Then you’ll only feel 20% dumped!? Not sure how the math really works on that one, but something like that. You feel less rejected and dejected because hey, they weren’t that special anyway! However, splitting your attention amongst a number of people instead of just concentrating on one can be time consuming, costly and doesn’t get the job done. The job meaning getting to know someone well, not “git her doneee!!” Thanks.
3. You are not 100% sure what you want in a significant other, thus cannot determine if this is the right person for you.
In this case, it’d be a good idea to date around to see what you like and don’t like. Once you have that established, then you can move on to finding that person who has the things you like, and can be more adept in determining & eliminating who is NOT right for you, ultimately answering the question: “Is there someone better?”
When should we stop looking?
When you are completely satisfied & happy in a relationship, then that’s when you should stop looking. Actually, then you wouldn’t even want to look, unless you are one of those people who ALWAYS have wandering eyes and want some new ass. Then you’d be a HO or a peeping Tom and should wear some sunglasses so your girlfriend doesn’t catch you eyeing some chick down the street, because she will want to slap you. Okay, maybe that’s just if your girlfriend is named Eve. In that case she will kick you in the balls, slash your tires, and tell your mama. Just kidding, I am not that scary. I think. :)
When I am happy in a relationship, my Asian guy radar somehow magically turns off and I don’t really notice guys around me anymore. It is really weird, but that’s just what happens. If I am subconsciously unsatisfied in some way (sometimes I don’t even realize it), then I may try to seek attention from other people. I am not saying I try to be a ho or anything, it’s just human behavior. If your boyfriend sucks at paying attention to you when you need it, then you may end up confiding in other guys instead. If your boyfriend says you can’t go party, then you may end up having an extra urge to go party. This is why people need to communicate and recognize when things are not going as well as they should be, but alas people always have difficulty with this. Sometimes, it’s not really anyone’s fault, but when things are not going well, then the question may once again reappear like a vampire from the undead: Is there someone better for me?
If you’re wondering this, then maybe there is!
It’s up to you to determine if the person you’re with or are interested in being with is worth ceasing the field play, exploring of options, fishing in the sea, etc.
Alright, it's past my bedtime. Goodnight!