Life
You know, I wonder when I'm going to understand that my life is not what it is in my head.
It's not. BIggest thing right now: I'm not part of the Indy world, not matter how much I wish I were. I don't get to hang out them, see movies with them, give them hugs when they're down no matter if I would sell a kidney to be able to do so.
I am currently in the aftermath of a meltdown. I melted down because I had a "I'm not part of their lives" awakening moment, and that made me sad. I also had a semi-second meltdown about a guy, Pretty bad huh? I also freaked out my friend by crying. A lot. She doesn't do well with crying people, and there I was, tears going down my face, talking to her. I'm an awful friend.
I've considered just cutting myself off from everyone south of the border. Maybe then it won't hurt as much.
It's not. BIggest thing right now: I'm not part of the Indy world, not matter how much I wish I were. I don't get to hang out them, see movies with them, give them hugs when they're down no matter if I would sell a kidney to be able to do so.
I am currently in the aftermath of a meltdown. I melted down because I had a "I'm not part of their lives" awakening moment, and that made me sad. I also had a semi-second meltdown about a guy, Pretty bad huh? I also freaked out my friend by crying. A lot. She doesn't do well with crying people, and there I was, tears going down my face, talking to her. I'm an awful friend.
I've considered just cutting myself off from everyone south of the border. Maybe then it won't hurt as much.