(no subject)

[evathadiva]

I stood for an hour and a half in the freezing cold temperature trying to get a cab.
I hate nyc
I hate how I feel

I hadn't seen him for a year and a half.
saw him.
he had me meet his friends.
he took me and my friend to dinner.
said he wanted to meet up tonight.
but some people...
they just never fucking change

the other guy calls me several times
talking to me
not apologizing...
for something that really
is beyond an apology
making me feel like I am the crazy one

these people
this cold
this competition
makes me feel like I am the crazy one
for not being able to handle it

I just wanted to lay down in the street tonight.....
and cry
for everything
everything I have held in so well
I can't

I just can't
be here in whatever this reality is

not ever
not anymore....