attachment issues much!
The problem with seeing a therapist, three times a week, for two damned years;
I'm already thinking about the end of this relationship. Three times a week over two years, even once you get past the practical nature of arranging the time and money to achieve this, it will create a dependency to the therapist, to the nature of the relationship. A place where I can go and talk about myself, and my problems every other day of the week; how am I supposed to walk away from that attachment?! Why would I deliberately enter in to an "intimate" relationship, that there's no actual need for, knowing that at the end of it, I have to go through the pain of losing it.
When I say "need for", I see this relationship as unnecessary. Some relationships are necessary because without them you can't live, for example (a relationship is needed with my landlady), or work, (again relationship, needed). I suppose it's a matter of perspective, but I see therapy, if it is going to cost me this much "intensity" as unneeded and unnecessary.
You may argue I am disturbed enough for that level of help to be necessary and the compromise to make, is the willingness to enter that relationship, I'll have to think that point through. Currently I see myself as someone who "functions", is able to go through the motions of life at least.
I haven't brought in to the idea that psychoanalysis, solves anything. I think it just creates a long term dependency and that's about it. It's nice to be able to go talk to someone three times a week, about your problems, but beyond nice, does it actually change your life, your feelings and your emotions? I'm dubious over it's effectiveness. Research studies comparing depression and quality of life, in participants who have or haven't been psychoanalysed, don't convince me either, all psychological studies are subject to bias and every person who ever wrote a research paper is biased towards seeing a need for his/her profession.
I think therapy also creates a preoccupation, a curiosity about the person sitting there listening to you. It's a lot of thought time, assigned to working out what's going on in the mind of the person analysing you (ironic isn't it) and the nature of your relationship. I'd go so far as to say the preoccupation is obsessive. I'd rather not be obsessing over someone I shouldn't be obsessing over, for the best part of a week. I have heard that the process of therapy nears completion at the point the patient can "internalise the therapists voice", as in make wiser decisions based on being able to use the process therapy has taught you or to see things the way your therapist has taught you to see them, I have no comment on that besides the point that "internalising a voice" seems to come from thinking about therapy (and your therapist) all the time. I don't want to think about therapy all the time. Thinking about therapy all the time, will make me think of my problems all the time, I don't see that as making me happier and thinking about your therapist even most of the time, even when not actually in therapy, is kind of creepy.
This one is the hardest to write and the one I think least likely to be believed. I suppose I wrote it, when I wrote I hate emotionally depending on people because I hate losing people. It requires admitting that I am quite attached to my current therapist and I don't want to lose her/stop seeing her, thinking about it, is on some level painful. This really annoys me; I wasn't supposed to get emotionally attached to her and it scares me that I did despite trying very hard not to. If this happens even seeing someone once a week or once every two weeks, I dread to think how attached you can become to someone you see three times a week.