your ghost

[evasearchin]

Yes, you went and died November the 5th.
Great date, memorable;
I've never enjoyed fireworks.
Never been taken to see them as a child.

This week
I'm going to walk away from your ghost.
Or I'm going to live the life you never got to live.
The life I have,
The one I'd gladly swap for yours,
so beautifully short lived.

I want to see the explosions fill the sky,
all the pretty lights, coming alive,
for you, for me, for our fucked up family,
for all the years, I couldn't.

I'm absolutely determined to go this year.
and maybe I'm not walking away from your ghost,
your ghost is telling me to go have a good time.
go and live my life, go and see the sights.
maybe stop envying your peaceful slumber.
and go look at the world in wonder.