random stupidity regarding my cat
all you really have to do is take some tape. just some regular scotch tape. let's say about ten inches of it. you roll the tape up into a ball. and you make sure you handle it a bit so that it doesn't stick to things so easily. get your fingerprints on it. grub it up a little. after doing this, throw it towards a house cat. in this ball, a house cat will find hours of entertainment. a house cat has never encountered a ball of tape before. this is exciting for a house cat. in truth, a house cat does not even know that the ball is made of tape. it does not know what tape is and it has no way of knowing that this thing is made of it, and that it is not normally used for balls in this fashion. this is not the generally acknowledged and accepted way to use tape. a house cat may speak to the tape. it does not know that the tape cannot listen or speak back. in the best of cases a house cat will say something that does not require an answer. in this case a house cat will not be offended at the tapes lack of response. it should be clarified that we as humans will not understand what a house cat is saying, specifically. to my knowledge there is no human that speaks the same language as a house cat. it should be noted however, that is does not hurt to try. in fact you may find enjoyment in it. please note that a house cat may misinterpret your good natured attempt at its language and become angry. do not let this frighten you. humans are much larger and stronger than a house cat and to my knowledge, a house cat has never successfully killed a human person intentionally. a house cat does not experience hatred. and, conversely a house cat does not truly experience love. in this way, a house cat is not unlike a very small grizzly bear. under this scheme of logic it may also be argued that a housecat is not unlike a hockey stick. it should be noted that, like a human being, a hockey stick cannot speak the language of a house cat. since a hockey stick shares both the characteristics of a house cat and of a human being, it may be successfully argued that, were a human to have sex with a house cat, the resulting child would be a hockey stick.