(no subject)
2 years ago last week i had a dream, in this dream my girlfriend, her little brother, and i were all in a red mustang. Inside the mustang her little brother was riding shotgun while she was in the back of the car with throny vines weaving in and out poking and proding her back causing her to bleed a beautiful ruby red.
1: i was driving a car with passengers
2: My girlfriend will ALWAYS ride shotgun there is no reason she shouldnt, but for some reason her brother was shotgun (why?)
3: The car ride was pushing thorns into her, hurting her very badly, specificaly her back, and for being IN the back of the car.
4: It happens at my school.
The next day, my friend PJ needs a ride home so i agree to give him one, my girlfriend and i meet up and head to my truck which is a 2 door. Because pj is so big (400lbs) he HAS to sit in the front, meaning my girlfriend will ride in the back where no seat belts are available.
Its a short ride and is an acceptable risk.
We come to a full stop at the red light next to freeway of my school and my spider senses are tingling, BAM we are rear ended (they didnt use breaks, traveling 40+) and my truck is thrown into the car ahead of us CRUSHING their car's trunk. No one is injured except for my girlfriend, small back pain, blunt trama to the head but still minor.
I had told her about my dream earlier that day, and to this day that is the only time i have been able to prove that my dreams have predicted the future. Why i was in a red mustang i dont know, still alot of information in that dream i cant figure out.
I have these dreams often, and 80% of the time they come true, a few weeks after the accedent i had a dream about that intersection again, it was me crashing into someone at roughly the age of 21 and fire consuming me completely. At the age of 21 i will die, if this was one of those 80% dreams i have 3 years to live my life to its fullest. Do i want to die? No, but since that day i dont look at death and the fear of death the same way.
I no longer fear any form of death, after that day I was free to take risk that i wouldve never taken since then. I feel bullet proof, i dont feel like i can die untill that winter day comes. I dont want to prove it, i dont WANT to push the edge but the few people that have take a ride with me have seen the complete (stupidty?) lack of fear i feel behind the wheel. In all likely hood this is over cofidence at its very worst.
Every entry for the past month has delt with this subject, because in my mind its a never ending subject and soon im about to take a step twords that wintery night at the tender age of 21. Im in the final phases of getting my bike.
Ive got my truck in working order as of next friday, which (unfortunatly) minor and superfical scars. Reguardless with this truck in order i can setup my PO box to recive bills aswell as a bank account and storage all for the purpose of house a 600cc motorcycle capable of speed in excess of 160mph.
This bike will be my ultimate, my final puzzle piece that can complete my soul and let me die happy. My parents dont understand this and that is why i have to do it so secretly. This bike will let me truely let my body do the talking. Capable of out manuvering any car, out perform in ALMOST any situations... except for a collsion.
Fear will nolt rule my life, i see the fearful and i understand why they feel the way they do, its not a life i can live.
Love.
1: i was driving a car with passengers
2: My girlfriend will ALWAYS ride shotgun there is no reason she shouldnt, but for some reason her brother was shotgun (why?)
3: The car ride was pushing thorns into her, hurting her very badly, specificaly her back, and for being IN the back of the car.
4: It happens at my school.
The next day, my friend PJ needs a ride home so i agree to give him one, my girlfriend and i meet up and head to my truck which is a 2 door. Because pj is so big (400lbs) he HAS to sit in the front, meaning my girlfriend will ride in the back where no seat belts are available.
Its a short ride and is an acceptable risk.
We come to a full stop at the red light next to freeway of my school and my spider senses are tingling, BAM we are rear ended (they didnt use breaks, traveling 40+) and my truck is thrown into the car ahead of us CRUSHING their car's trunk. No one is injured except for my girlfriend, small back pain, blunt trama to the head but still minor.
I had told her about my dream earlier that day, and to this day that is the only time i have been able to prove that my dreams have predicted the future. Why i was in a red mustang i dont know, still alot of information in that dream i cant figure out.
I have these dreams often, and 80% of the time they come true, a few weeks after the accedent i had a dream about that intersection again, it was me crashing into someone at roughly the age of 21 and fire consuming me completely. At the age of 21 i will die, if this was one of those 80% dreams i have 3 years to live my life to its fullest. Do i want to die? No, but since that day i dont look at death and the fear of death the same way.
I no longer fear any form of death, after that day I was free to take risk that i wouldve never taken since then. I feel bullet proof, i dont feel like i can die untill that winter day comes. I dont want to prove it, i dont WANT to push the edge but the few people that have take a ride with me have seen the complete (stupidty?) lack of fear i feel behind the wheel. In all likely hood this is over cofidence at its very worst.
Every entry for the past month has delt with this subject, because in my mind its a never ending subject and soon im about to take a step twords that wintery night at the tender age of 21. Im in the final phases of getting my bike.
Ive got my truck in working order as of next friday, which (unfortunatly) minor and superfical scars. Reguardless with this truck in order i can setup my PO box to recive bills aswell as a bank account and storage all for the purpose of house a 600cc motorcycle capable of speed in excess of 160mph.
This bike will be my ultimate, my final puzzle piece that can complete my soul and let me die happy. My parents dont understand this and that is why i have to do it so secretly. This bike will let me truely let my body do the talking. Capable of out manuvering any car, out perform in ALMOST any situations... except for a collsion.
Fear will nolt rule my life, i see the fearful and i understand why they feel the way they do, its not a life i can live.
Love.