Wasted Time (Opium and Timidity)

[evangelion_100]

I have begun
to tire
of writing words
of Meaning's death
it seems as if she
would long be dead
by now
after all these poetic meanderings
and exhortations

Perhaps I will start
to stop
looking for new beginnings
and demanding
what can not be gotten
from this mass
of beings

Pervasive obstacles
of alarms and maydays
vitiate my tongue's utterances
and I am much older now
while it seems that time
has run out

I have expended endless energy
and words
on deaf ears
and blind eyes
all the while
illusions
and distractions
have dominated
these minds
forever out of my reach

So maybe I
will retreat
to this cave
of memories
and innocence
(the original fallacy)
to rest my quivering hands
and restless tongue

I will emerge
only
when all falls to dust
(within the rubble
I will find You
intact and beautiful,
incomprehensibly alive,
I will find a nascent purpose
in your amorphous quiescence)