Scattered Thoughts (Collected)

[evangelion_100]

Everything is automatic,
contrived and awkward,
broken and irredeemable
(Reconciliation is home,
a place to warm oneself
in the winter
of civilization)

what is lost is poetic,
hopeful and tired,
blessed and wishful
(I am hypocritical,
a collection of atoms
that together
are so much garbage)

So where do I go,
when this world
is foreign and alien
and anger and bitterness
are given in response
to anything
that is a part of it
(Where wonder occasionally shows itself
like a ray of light,
artificial or natural,
in the confines of my room
and simplicity breathes its essence
into all things,
for a tantalizing moment)

Isolation is easy
and comforting,
(silence and pages
punctuated by songs
sung by a foolish boy)
the greatest temptation,
eerily perfect
in its placidity
(There's always more
than one way
to be okay)

I am an invidious tempest
that lacks understanding
always pushes,
but never pulls
(vicissitudes will come not
in the time I am given,
I am something
ephemeral and banal,
lacking sacrosanctness)

egregious iniquities
populate the pages
of my days
and forgiveness
cannot find me
in the chapters
(Here I am,
bound to humanity,
the capricious simian man)