Jack pwns Sawyer! No, Sawyer pwns Jack. Also, the actors!!1 We own them, didn't you know??
Will spend a bit of time on the latest, Everybody Loves Hugo (damned straight they do!) in the next entry but first, I need to get something off my chest.
What, you wonder, could possibly be eliciting such genuine indignation and long-simmering ire from a calm individual like myself?
It's this ridiculous, eye-roll-worthy and thoroughly imaginary feud that's been festering between: you guessed it! Jaters and Skaters! Since the dawn of time, I kid you not.
It goes like this: Skaters loathe Jack (and frequently, the poor bloke who plays the FICTIONAL CHARACTER) with the intensity of a gazillion furious suns. To them, he's the bane of Skate's happiness, past and future. They heap virulent criticism on him, much of which is stunning in its lack of conformity with canon.
I'm sure many Jaters loathe Sawyer too; at least, till he found Jules. But I've scoured the internets, good people, and many sites, and while I have seen such vile outpourings about Sawyer, the Jack hate far, far outstrips it.
He's called everything from a woman-basher ('he grabbed a woman's arm, sob!!!!') to an outright psychotic. Personally, I find such a conveniently fragile, helpless take on women an insult. I can take care of myself well enough, thanks. I certainly wouldn't be a whimpering mess if a guy who happened to be my friend or boyfriend, took hold of my arm in a tense or emotional situation. Lol. And I doubt Kate would, either. She's a fucking escaped convict and murderer! Idiots.
Now, I'm certainly not saying he's not flawed. Hell, no. Just, I happen to take people (and characters) with shortcomings and like them all the better for it. Jack is a control freak; he has Mr. Fix It Issues (how adorable he was in ELH, finally admitting this! I was like, 'well, duh! Took you 6 years of my time to get there, idiot!'), he has intimacy issues.... and a host of other faults, I'm sure.
But here's a news flash, Blind Ones: all the characters on LOST do. Sawyer's selfish, he walks away from situations when he's had enough (he certainly seemed to when he was all set to go buy Microsoft with gorgeous Juliet, and that's post 'Sawyer Growth'). He left the Temple this season--yes, mad with grief--but he was essentially ready to turn his back on everyone for a bit.
So, how'd I react? Did I scream, 'I hate you, Sawyer!' and fling my remote out the window before logging onto a LOST site with self righteous, alarming fury to castigate a fictitious character in the strongest, most hateful language imaginable? Like, he'd just ambled into my room and shot my decrepit cat, perhaps?
Um. no. What I did do was sigh, shake my head and feel sad for him: for his pain, for his anger and yes, for him resorting to that 'loner' thing he falls back on.
But these strange, apparently permanently idle people hate Jack Shephard so much, the lines between reality and wishful thinking merged seasons ago. They say stuff like this:
'Jack has always been portrayed as an addict or drunk.' WTF?! Oh, you mean because he asked for a teeny bottle of V on the flight during the Pilot? Riiight! Thanks so much for clearing that up, mate. Clearly, liking a drink on occasion/ during a long, boring fight=hateful drunk! I'll be sure not to give into the nasty temptation of ordering a mini bottle of wine next time I'm crossing the Atlantic.
Or, 'he was drinking when writing his vows!'. Again, no one ever, ever has a drink unless they're a flaming alcoholic. Which is why in my eyes, Kate and Sawyer, especially Sawyer are drunks too. He did stash the liquor, didn't he? And we saw him downing the whisky after Juliet died, so yup, he's a drunk.
LOL! I'm definitely not saying he didn't become one, Jack. Not at all. He did turn to booze and drugs, but it was at the lowest point of his life, when he was ready to off himself. Not the same, dimwits.
Another popular device: compare Sawyer to Jack without any context, and LIE about Sawyer. Along the lines of: 'Jack's always complaining and whinging and blaming others, and Sawyer's so good and generous he never, ever does this!'
Read this on a forum, and was mighty pleased by the response a sane fan came up with. Along the lines of: WTF? Sawyer blamed Cooper for his parents' deaths though daddy shot mommy and himself; he killed the wrong dude out of that need to place blame instead of moving on; recently, he blamed Jack and co for showing up and ruining his Dharma life and this very season, he blamed Jack for Juliet's death though I can't remember the Doc twisting her arm into agreeing to Jughead....
Yup, I concur. And so what? For the umpteenth time, he's only human. He's allowed to have flaws. And to me, you're actually doing Sawyer--a rich, complex and incredibly well-portrayed character--a huge disservice by brushing his faults under the carpet and twisting him into your own personal Wet Dream: sadly, for the fans I'm attacking (sorry, referring to!) this seems to translate into a Big Blond Greek God who's always generous and loving and amazingly perfect and eternally worthy of being woobified to the point where his mistakes just don't exist, geddit??
It bewilders me, because I find it so easy to like both characters without incessantly pitting them against each other. How ridiculous! Because Kate can't seem to choose between them, such fans think it their duty to start a pissing contest between the same FAKE characters? That it? Do they think if they 'win' on the Internets, Darlton will cave, praise their incredible insight and 'give them Skate'? LOL!!!
The beauty of it is, these deluded, weirdly angry types call the opposite camps delusional! I swear, the Irony! It iz making murder of me!!1 Lately, I haven't been able to stop chuckling at them, because they're becoming increasingly desperate and naturally, fascinating to watch.
Oh, and they're still attacking Matthew Fox. Yeah, I'm biased because I really like the actor. In a normal way. And they detest him in a bizarre, off-putting and worrying way.
When the 'stripper scandal' hit the tabloids, they were so thrilled! They promptly condemned him, passing judgment with a smug display of stunningly deluded, puffed up authority (poor souls!) as if they'd been enlisted to do so. They disregarded the flimsiness of the charge (since that time the story's complete fizzled out, betraying it's likely falseness). The fact that he's been married for 23 years, which is definitely something of a record in Hollywood, doesn't count. The kids they have together don't count. The way he speaks of his wife (see Playboy interview) doesn't count.
All that counts is: THIS DOUCHE STOLE SAWYER'S GLORY! Or, HE STOLE THE HERO'S ROLE FROM JOSH!!!
Kid you not, they have entire websites and forums dedicated to discussing what an utter bastard MF is. And no, none of them have ever actually met him.
Evangeline Lilly ain't immune either. All she's got to do is let a few pro-Jate words escape her lips, and the wrath is unleased, and how. She's apparently really, really strange, rather stupid, and incapable of having an iota of insight into the character she's been playing for 6 years. Also, any direction or input she gets from the writers, directors and producers doesn't count for bollocks. Cause she's that stupid.
I don't know whether to laugh, or back away slowly. Coming back to the imaginary arch rivalry of MF and JH, the kicker is that the two men always speak of each other with respect.
Even Season 5's backstage pics have them laughing, hanging out together... clearly, they aren't sworn enemies. What a letdown for the poor Sawyer/Skater rabid types who've survived all these years only on the strength of their vociferous claims regarding the ENTIRE CAST's hatred for MF.
Sad little impaired things. They obviously see themselves as poor, put-upon, long-suffering Josh's champions, and fancy themselves as performing some sort of invaluable task for that talented, apparently perfectly happy man. What a waste of efforts that may well have been put to better use.
Much like me, indulging in this vicious rant instead of coming up with the Strategy for a new Milk Brand Launch.
But I've been goaded and besides, each of us seem to harbour the need to PROVE SOMEONE WRONG ON THE INTERNETS! So why not me, eh? :P