(no subject)
rachels not in love with me anymore, now she might break up with me, i'm still a bad person. soccer is still the thing that makes me happiest. along with noah. but i think soccer more because i dont think about anything but soccer when i'm playing soccer, and with noah i have a bunch of other bull shit goin on. soccer keeps me goin. i got a bit better. like at reading where people's shots are gonna go. i made some nice saves today. i go to see dave chapelle in 3 days i think. i kinda feel like doing noting, at all with anyone except for a few people. like that day at the soccer field with noah and megan and sonja and rachel and people. i wish i could do that for a while. me and a few select people playin soccer, and a few of some select friends on the side. but the friends are actually interested. they're actually paying attention and not making asses of themselves. i almost feel like killing myself. i am a bad person. fuck. i dont know what i'm gonna do about lunch tomorrow. rachel's gonna call me tonight. yeha. i hope she doesn't read this untill after i talk to her cuz i don't feel like being super nice and making her happy. i never do anymore. i think i actually was in love with her. i don't know what happend though. shit. whatever. fuck. death to me.
does it really matter who i am?
does it really matter who i am?