What else should I be
i don't even know what to do here. by the time i got to the bar the attack had already started, and it was just a mess. Yuff was there, and he and Ralph were trying to think of how to get the people out when i came flying in. everything happened so fast after that; we managed to get the humans out, we were trying to work our way through Zane's men when Joey showed up, and then the spell was restored and Ralph let the police in and that was that. except when we went outside, we found out Bella and Eric Hicks had been shot.
Ralph and i went to the hospital to see how they were and to get the bullet removed from my kidney. i called Evan and told him what had happened briefly, and he said he'd call who needed to be called and meet me there. i should've called Col myself, i should've told him his wife could've died because of me. but i didn't, i defered to Evan and let him handle it. after my bullet was removed i ran into Penn. he's so so angry right now at Ralph and i, and i don't blame him for being upset with me but i don't want him to blame Ralph. he already blames himself enough and it breaks my heart. i stopped by to see Bella, but Col was in with her and i didn't want to disturb them or upset Col any more than he already was. i wrote him a note apologizing and telling him he could call me when he was ready and left it with the nurse.
i don't even care if everyone blames me for my part in this, because i'm willing to accept it, but Ralph? so many things were going on that were turning his life upside down, and it's not an excuse, but had all of the other shit not been happening at the same time? maybe things would've turned out differently and no innocent bystanders would've been hurt. i take responsibility for that, too. i played a part in distracting him from what he needed to concentrate on. i just...gods, i don't know what to do to make this better.
Ralph and i went to the hospital to see how they were and to get the bullet removed from my kidney. i called Evan and told him what had happened briefly, and he said he'd call who needed to be called and meet me there. i should've called Col myself, i should've told him his wife could've died because of me. but i didn't, i defered to Evan and let him handle it. after my bullet was removed i ran into Penn. he's so so angry right now at Ralph and i, and i don't blame him for being upset with me but i don't want him to blame Ralph. he already blames himself enough and it breaks my heart. i stopped by to see Bella, but Col was in with her and i didn't want to disturb them or upset Col any more than he already was. i wrote him a note apologizing and telling him he could call me when he was ready and left it with the nurse.
i don't even care if everyone blames me for my part in this, because i'm willing to accept it, but Ralph? so many things were going on that were turning his life upside down, and it's not an excuse, but had all of the other shit not been happening at the same time? maybe things would've turned out differently and no innocent bystanders would've been hurt. i take responsibility for that, too. i played a part in distracting him from what he needed to concentrate on. i just...gods, i don't know what to do to make this better.