April 1901
Well Journal I saw the Lady Windermere today, she is very beautiful. I can see why he fancies her. I’m glad for the time I spent in finishing school now. I’m not good enough to be a governess but I know more then enough to be an accomplished ladies maid. I can’t imagine asking her to use my dress hooks. She is so poised I don’t think she would even understand how they work. And Master Lucien is so happy. I know I dreamt of being his equal…but that never really happens only in fairy stories. I am so grateful to not have to live as a whore anymore; he never wants anything from me. Not like the other men do, and really I’m grateful for it. Before him I felt so used by them all. Now I am the one who does the using, luring them to feed my master. And with my training and his money they never suspect that I am so low born. Instead I’m a young widow just arrived home from India. They are so dear and not one of them rough men. Master says rough men don’t sit well with him…so I go to the young ones mostly. They remind me of Andrew. Sometimes, I’m afraid I’ll meet him. But I stay away from the Aristocracy.