(no subject)
about the wanting to leave lj post. here's the thing, there's some ties on here to past that I'd really love it to leave me and let go. my ex is on lj, and yeah, not on my list but know he's still here, and just deleted some people from my f list cause it's like friends of him and I'd just read about him in their posts and it would hurt alot, cause yeah, hard to tear myself away from someone, even though that person has very much abused and abandoned me. so yeah, I do like reading about my friends, and I feel connected to them, but yeah, just don't know if I can break these stupid ties to a past that just won't let go. so yeah, i'm not really sure what I'm going to do yet, I know he shouldnt' control me, but I still hurt like hell and yeah, it's like he's still there and grr. not sure how else to explain it. brain muddled, still havent' gotten to sleep any day before 3am this week. too much going on still.
anyways, yeah, working butt off, calvin is thinking of visiting end of april to help with the move which gives me alot of hope, and amy is coming to help me this weekend :)
anyways, yeah, working butt off, calvin is thinking of visiting end of april to help with the move which gives me alot of hope, and amy is coming to help me this weekend :)