Twilight
Yes, I've actually read it. For two reasons. One, I must have masochistic tendencies. Two, I compulsively finish every book I start. I still want to gouge my eyes out. And would someone scrub my brain clean? Though I probably should admire Stephanie Meyer who was able to write over 500 pages which could be summarised in as many words:
And what is it with Meyer's preoccupation with eyes? Has she got a fetish or something? Edward's: coal black, piercing, hate-filled eyes, a strange ocher, darker than butterscotch, but with the same golden tone eyes, dark gold eyes, penetrating eyes, gold-colored eyes, devastating power of his eyes, deep, golden honey color eyes, tawny eyes, ocher eyes scorching, impenetrable eyes, topaz eyes, mocking eyes, dancing eyes, burning gold eyes, hypnotic eyes, enigmatic eyes, fierce eyes, watchful eyes, anguished eyes, smoldering eyes, shrewd eyes, ambivalent eyes. (I think now it's obvious why I want to spork out my eyes.)
ETA: Somebody write "Meyer's Parrot" with a chapter "Edward Cullen's eyes". Please...
And what is it with Meyer's preoccupation with eyes? Has she got a fetish or something? Edward's: coal black, piercing, hate-filled eyes, a strange ocher, darker than butterscotch, but with the same golden tone eyes, dark gold eyes, penetrating eyes, gold-colored eyes, devastating power of his eyes, deep, golden honey color eyes, tawny eyes, ocher eyes scorching, impenetrable eyes, topaz eyes, mocking eyes, dancing eyes, burning gold eyes, hypnotic eyes, enigmatic eyes, fierce eyes, watchful eyes, anguished eyes, smoldering eyes, shrewd eyes, ambivalent eyes. (I think now it's obvious why I want to spork out my eyes.)
ETA: Somebody write "Meyer's Parrot" with a chapter "Edward Cullen's eyes". Please...