Better Living Through Chemistry
Title: Better Living Through Chemistry
Series: #2 in Avengers Academy
Author: Eustacia Vye
Author's e-mail: eustacia_vye28@hotmail.com
Pairing: Loki/Natasha
Rating: PG (for innuendo, because Janet's not as innocent as she looks!)
Summary: There's only one chair to read books at the library. And only one spot to work on potions or chemistry experiments. In this school, it's also a time honored tradition to gossip about classmates and try to fix each other up.
Watching Tony tutor Loki in chemistry was utterly hilarious. Loki didn't need the help, for one thing, and Natasha knew for a fact that Tony was only doing it to avoid detention. Pym was upset about an explosion in one of his basement labs, and Natasha was willing to bet that Tony was at the bottom of it. The blast marks on the walls when she snuck in seemed to point to him, and he flinched when Professor Pym did his trademark "That's science!" fist bump. Or when one of Enchantress' potions exploded.
Natasha scowled when she approached the library. Loki was at the main desk, books on mythology piled up around him. "You're in my seat," she growled at him.
He didn't even bother to look up, the conceited ass. "Go get another chair. I got here first."
She had her psychology books under her arm and resisted the temptation to smash him upside the head with them. "You're usually in the back of the library hiding from the teachers. Get out of my seat and let me study."
"You act like there's only one seat," Loki huffed, finally looking up.
Leaning in, she put on her most threatening expression. It was enough that he was startled and jerked back a bit before he could catch himself. "Get. Out. Of. My. Seat," she growled.
"Or what?" he asked after a moment, pasting a smirk on his lips.
"Then we'll see who really is better at knife work."
Loki gave her a long look. "Impressive."
Tapping her foot, she gave him a pointed look. "Well?"
After a moment, clearly considering his options, he scooted over. "This is my bargain."
Resisting the urge to slam her books down, Natasha crowded into his space. She smiled sweetly when he made a complaining noise. "You can scurry back to the shadows of the stacks if you prefer." Her voice was low and menacing, making him blink.
"What makes you think you can threaten a god?" he asked, puffing up his chest a bit.
She rolled her eyes impatiently. "Even minor gods can be hurt."
"I am not minor!" Loki snapped.
Grasping his wrist, Natasha bent it back in a deft motion that had him twisting in his seat to lessen the pressure on the bones there. She let out a bored huff of breath. "I really would like to study now. Do shut up."
Loki scowled at her when she let go, and cradled his wrist close to his chest. A curl of green magic snaked around his wrist as if it was a healing spell, and she gave him a sickly sweet smile.
From then on, however, he quickly got out of her way when she headed to her seat at her desk in the library. Most of the time, he had a haughty expression and pretended that he was done studying, but his sidelong glances at her let her know that she had made an impression on him.
Natasha willfully ignored the curl of satisfaction in her chest that threatened to become more.
***
"I feel almost bad for him," Tony sighed, looking at Taskmaster and Enchantress sitting together in the cafeteria. "She's only using him."
"Because you know that from experience," Janet said sympathetically, then took a huge spoonful of her frozen yogurt. "Did she break your heart, Tony?"
"No! No, no, it's not like that. Not jealous at all."
Steve was walking past their table with Sam, and Janet let out a screech. "Over here, boys! Join us!" she called, waving them over. "We have plenty of room!" She scooted closer to Tony and bumped him with her butt. "Move over."
Tony rolled his eyes with a smile and did just that. "Hey. President Rogers and Vice-President Wilson," he said with an exaggerated nod. "Congratulations."
"It was a solid platform," Steve said, putting his tray down. He sat down across from Tony and pulled out the chair next to him for Sam. "We have to attend student council meetings and some of the administration board meetings, but-"
"Wait, you get a chance to meet Pepper on the regular?"
"Of course I do. She works as an assistant for Director Fury, too. She's only a student part time."
"You know, Steve, if you ever need help, I could be a technical advisor." At Steve's dubious expression, Tony flashed him a charming smile. "Look. We both know that I'm not a fan of being handed things or attending a bunch of boring meetings. What I love doing is tinkering with tech, building robots, conferring with JARVIS, that kind of thing. I mean, I spent four hours this morning studying alien armor. Mine is better, but still."
Sam snickered, and covered it up with a cough. "Couldn't tell," he finally said.
That didn't faze Tony at all. "That's what I love doing. Not the paperwork thing. So if you need me to help the Academy with some kind of tech, I'm your man."
"Well, it can't always be a problem solved by tech," Steve said diplomatically. "But I'll keep that in mind. I usually like to solve the problem with good old-fashioned sweat and hard work."
"Mostly sweat," Sam snarked, bumping his shoulder playfully.
"How else will you get anything done?"
Tony laughed. "How does everyone feel about me building an army of robots?"
"Tony? No," Janet said firmly. "Creepy."
"Worse than clowns," Sam agreed.
"What? They can serve so many purposes! No one thinks my guy at Club A is a problem."
"He acts almost human," Steve said in a hesitant tone. He shot Tony an awkward and embarrassed expression. "I mean, I found myself talking to him about my old pal Bucky from when I was a kid back in Brooklyn. I hadn't thought of it in years, yet there I was nearly bawling like a baby because I miss Bucky."
Sam put an arm around Steve's shoulders as Janet reached across the table and gave his hand a squeeze. "Happens, Steve."
"This campus is weird," Janet said with a sage nod. "Let's just blame the time fog for that. Or gossip about our classmates."
"That's hardly a good thing to do," Steve said with a frown. "I'd feel bad."
"Time honored tradition, Cap," Tony chirped.
His frown didn't lessen even a fraction. "It's not a good thing to do about friends."
"You're friends with Taskmaster?" Tony asked incredulously. "What's his first name?"
Steve was obviously put on the spot, and looked at his food tray in chagrin. "Um..."
"Listen. Not important, anyway. Jan and I were just saying how Enchantress is using him, and she probably isn't interested in him at all. Poor guy."
Sighing, Steve shook his head. "She's... Well, I was taught not to say anything bad about others."
"So you have dirt?" Janet asked, leaning forward eagerly.
"I feel awkward around her. Uncomfortable."
"Like your pants are too tight uncomfortable?" Tony joked. "Ow! Quit it!" he cried when Janet elbowed him in the ribs.
"There's no emotion there. She really doesn't care about anyone but herself. Or humiliating others," Steve explained, still appearing unhappy. "Talking with her just leaves me cold."
Janet nodded knowingly. "Yeah. Catty, stuck up and not as pretty as she thinks she is. I'll bet she isn't as good at enchanting as she says she is. But of course, she and Loki are rivals, so asking him isn't exactly worth it."
"Taskmaster isn't that bad a guy, anyway," Steve told them, starting to dig into his lunch. "He focuses more on fighting and trying to be better than everybody else, but he's a hard worker and isn't really mean about it. I don't mind sparring with him."
"You know he got a shield just because you do, right?" Sam asked.
"Well, yeah. But it's not like I have the trademark on shields. I mean, I was helping you with the angles to bounce yours off of the statues and buildings around the quad."
Tony gave a dramatic gasp. "Steve! You're breaking one of Fury's rules! How can you be the director's pet if you're causing a ruckus in the quad?"
Steve rolled his eyes. "Daisy can shoot jets of stone out from the ground in the middle of the quad. The Hulk does yoga. Tigra takes a catnap on the benches. I think having a shield ricochet off of Avengers Hall is small potatoes in comparison."
Pondering that, Tony nodded. "All right, you've got a point. Maybe it's just me he yells at, then."
"That's because you keep trying to do a flyby next to his office in the Triskelion that'll break the sound barrier and his windows," Janet pointed out. "He's got no problem with me shrinking down and buzzing around to get the scoop."
"You guys are supposed to be my friends," Tony whined.
Janet squealed and clutched his arm up against her chest. "The bestest! But I'll still call you on your crap because I love you, Tony. Now, eat up. This afternoon we have chemistry, and I have a feeling I'm going to be blowing up glassware again."
***
Bored with the tactics class she should have been studying for with Steve, Sam, and Janet, Natasha began making a list of all the students in Avengers Academy. She listed their strengths and weaknesses, usual arms and combat styles. Janet plunked her chin on Natasha's shoulder to look over her notes. "Well, I suppose this is tactics," she murmured dubiously.
Steve took the list and frowned a little as he read her commentary. "Why are you counting my dancing as a combat technique?"
"You're the one that said it was another form of practice," she pointed out. "And going at it for an eight hour marathon certainly shows stamina."
He sighed and shook his head ruefully, handing the list back to her. "I told you, I didn't realize it was eight hours!"
"This from the guy that can run an entire marathon in forty-five minutes," Sam teased, bumping shoulders with him.
"You cheat!" Steve replied. "Don't think I didn't see you use your jet pack!"
"My code name is Falcon. Of course I'm going to use the wings!"
Janet giggled and looked back at the list. "You put my stingers in as a positive!"
"They really do sting! Not the same as my Widow's Bites, but they're like needles."
"I am the Wasp," she preened. Glancing down the list, her eyes widened almost comically. "Oh, dear."
"What?"
"Facility with staves, swords, magical attacks, misdirection, manipulation and evasion," she read with a grin. "I think you're impressed with somebody."
Natasha crossed her arms beneath her breasts and glared at Janet. "Give that back."
"I think you li-i-i-ke somebody," she sing-songed, jumping out of her seat when Natasha lunged for her list.
Sam plucked it from Janet's outstretched hand looked it over. "Loki?"
Steve looked almost hurt. "I thought we had a connection, Natasha."
"We do. Comrades. Fighting Hydra students, we move in sync. I really appreciate that."
He appeared thoughtful for a moment, then nodded. "Okay, point. But why wouldn't you want to share your tactics assessments? It would really help with our project-"
Janet patted Steve's arm while Sam groaned and covered his face with hands. "You poor, poor thing. All you think about is combat."
"You've got the corner on fashion and parties," Steve told her.
"My darling Steve, we have to get you dating."
"Not Enchantress," he replied quickly, making the others snicker. "What? She's... I'm waiting for the right partner, and she's not it."
Turning to Natasha, Janet grinned conspiratorially. "I think you should just tell him. The snark and fighting in the library - and yes, don't think you're fooling anybody about that - is cute and all, but I think it's too subtle for him. He's an emotional idiot, you know. Jealous over his jock brother and feeling unappreciated. C'mon, Nat, it's going to be too easy to get him to go out with you if you want to get to know him better."
Steve was confused. "Wait. Who are we talking about? I didn't think Taskmaster had a brother."
Natasha winced. "No, not him. He wants a crew so badly, and it just reeks of desperation."
"I feel sorry for the guy," Sam admitted, handing Natasha her list. "I mean, he trains so hard, tries to get in with new cliques, and just can't fit in."
"So you hang out with him," Janet suggested.
"Um... He wanted to tag along on a date I had with Kamala," Sam admitted uncomfortably. "It took me forever to work up the nerve to ask her on a date, and he tagged along because he thought it was going to be a combat exercise and not heading out for a movie."
Janet clucked sympathetically. "He doesn't ping my buttons, but next time, send him my way. Maybe I can see if I get him to use scissors and straight pins as weapons."
"He would," Natasha commented dryly.
"Should we feel terrible about gossiping about our classmates?" Steve asked uncertainly.
"Hell, no," Janet chirped cheerfully. "This is a tactics project. Discussing our classmates totally counts as tactics." She turned to Natasha. "And I didn't forget about you, never fear. I'll make you a kickass outfit to impress him with."
"Impress who?" Steve asked.
"Loki," Janet and Sam said in unison.
Natasha groaned as Steve looked at her incredulously. "Don't say it," she warned him.
"What? If he hurts you, he has to answer to me. I'll shield bash him into a whole other realm if I have to," Steve told her.
Touched, Natasha blinked at him and smiled shyly. "Oh. Thanks. Not what I was expecting."
"He's clever and tries to collect secrets. He's strong at hand to hand and blades," Steve replied with a shrug. "I can see why he'd appeal to you. There's a strong basis to build from. I really didn't see the same for you and Tony."
"I am not discussing dates with any of you," Natasha declared.
"Tactics!" Janet crowed.
"You suck," she scowled.
"And swallow," she replied with a cheeky grin. "If I really like him, at least. If not, I spit."
"Whoa, whoa, way too much information!" Sam sputtered, waving his hands as if he could ward away her words.
"I suppose I shouldn't discriminate," Janet mused, ignoring Sam. "I mean, I haven't seen it personally, but I hear girls can squirt, too. I wonder if I should learn how to do that."
"Oh. My. God," Sam sputtered. "I think I need to get out of here."
"What's squirting?" Steve asked, frowning. "Is that a specific combat tactic I haven't heard of?"
"I need to get out of here," Sam muttered, shaking his head. He pointed at Janet's innocent expression. "You are an evil mastermind," he declared as he stood up. "And now my fragile mind is blown to pieces and I have to go chill in my room for a bit."
"At least I cleaned up in there and redesigned everything!" Janet chirped. "So soothing in your room now, and it fits your personality better. If fashion doesn't work out, I suppose I could interior design, too."
Steve sighed and shook his head, yanking on Sam's arm. "Don't leave," he pleaded. "We got off track, but we still have our group project to do."
"We can simulate an attack on the Academy," Natasha said. "Hydra or AIM, either school has a rivalry with us."
"I like it!" Janet said, grabbing a pen and turning to a fresh page in her notebook. She began to sketch the layout of the campus. "Assuming the design doesn't change again, we can discuss the pros and cons of concentrating attacks in the quad vs. along the walkways between the main buildings."
"It's ridiculous how entire buildings get shuffled around and sidewalks laid out like it's no big thing," Sam muttered. "I think we should blame Professor Pym for that one."
"Why?" Steve asked, frowning.
"Those particles he talks about. And that science stuff? Do you think he experimented on the buildings to move them around?"
"Yeah, but look at the design," Janet said, pointing to her sketch. "It's very neat and orderly. The man's desk is a mess and he can't organize anything to save his life, not even the chemicals in his lab." She cleared her throat. "Um. Not that I went looking or anything," she said, glaring at Natasha to remain silent. The redhead sat with an innocent expression, so Janet relaxed a fraction. "No, if I had to guess, I'd say Pepper was behind the layout."
"She's definitely organized, meticulous and detail oriented," Steve conceded thoughtfully. "I think Miss Potts would announce buildings moving ahead of time, though."
"Someone she works with, then? Someone we haven't met yet?" Natasha offered.
"I wouldn't want to come on Administration's radar," Sam said, shaking his head. "They might yank my scholarship."
"I'm sure we'd all chip in and cover tuition for you if anyone was stupid enough to do that," Janet said fiercely. "No one's gonna threaten my friends here."
"Back to the matter at hand," Steve said, tapping on Janet's map. "Off topic again."
"Happens a lot."
"Let's call it diversionary tactics," Natasha said dryly. The others laughed. "If it works on us, I'm sure it'll work on whoever's dumb enough to try to invade the campus."
"All right. So maybe if we're going with distraction, we'd better divide up classmates. A number of us will fight, and others will try to draw invaders to the dance floor, the mess hall-"
"Cafeteria, Steve, we're not soldiers," Janet reminded him.
"-or the fields near the time fog that haven't been built on yet. It would keep damage to a minimum and no one would get hurt."
Janet tapped her fingers thoughtfully on the table. "Huh. I think we might have a pretty good plan. And I have just the outfit for an invasion like that." She looked around innocently at their groans. "What? I do! Want me to make you guys one?"
Sam paused. "Do I get to look cool?"
"The coolest," Janet promised.
"Then I'd love some."
"I'd want to look badass," Natasha declared.
"If you're fighting, sure," Janet agreed. "But if you're on the dance floor, we have to show off your killer legs and emphasize your assets."
"Maybe if we weaponize my jewelry."
"But of course! What do you take me for? I figure the cuffs would blend in nicely, but we can put points on the hairpins you'd use, and I could probably talk to the tech guys about a laser lipstick and directing compact-"
"You absolutely stole that idea from Sharon!" Natasha cried, amazed. She ignored the others' startled looks that she knew what Sharon's group was working on. "I love it. Carry on."
"Stilettos in the stiletto heels."
"I love you, Janet," Natasha said with a conspiratorial grin that had Sam leaning back against Steve a little nervously.
Janet preened as if it was simply her due. "Of course you do. But you like Loki more. So go ask him out and tell him how you feel, you big baby."
Startled, she made a choking noise. "So underhanded. I'd be prouder if it wasn't against me," Natasha admitted.
"What can I say? I learned from the best," Janet chirped. "So, I think we have a plan. You get to do details," she said, standing. "Text me other stuff if you want."
"Where are you going?" Steve asked, concerned.
"To Van Dyne's, of course," Janet huffed. "I have costumes and outfits and accessories to make!"
***
"I don't know what you hope to prove," Loki huffed, glaring at Natasha. "I've watched you at the range. I know how well you fare with pistols."
"So you've watched me."
His mouth opened and then shut, caught in the statement. He glowered, not quite flushing in embarrassment. For someone so pale, he never really got red in the face. "Perhaps," he hedged finally, eyes sliding away from hers.
"We've danced together before at Club A," Natasha said, knowing her voice was taking on a sultry note. "It was for the student orientation mixer, sure, and I like how graceful you were. I propose we try a different kind of dance."
Loki visibly swallowed, though his posture didn't change in the slightest. "Pistols are your forte," he said finally. "The way you leap while hitting the target dead center, as if it was no more than a ballet move..." He tried to twist his lips into a snide smile. "Perhaps that's why they call you the mean ballerina?"
Natasha hated that nickname. She wasn't mean. She just had no time for the false niceties and idiotic pageantry that a lot of the others seemed to thrive on. If she had to, she could play that game, but she would much rather delve to the root of the problems and fix it.
She reached over to his jacket and smoothed the lapel down. He held himself so very still, as if she was about to discharge her gauntlets on the sidewalk outside of the library. Really, she wasn't as gauche as all that. She would simply use a garrote wire in the alley behind the dorm if she really didn't like him.
"I am the Black Widow," she told him simply. "There are a great many names for me, usually by the ones frightened of me or who have little to no understanding of how I work."
"And what am I to call you then?" he asked, lifting his chin a notch.
She couldn't help but let her lips curl into a smile. "Let's see how you move in the arena. If I like what I see, maybe you can call me Natasha. Or Tasha, if you're really good."
"Oh." He was utterly nonplused, his staff nearly falling from his fingers in his shock. "You aren't simply teasing. You mean what you say."
"It's a different connotation of the word 'mean,' Loki," she purred. "People say I'm mean, cold, harsh, even bitchy. I prefer to say dedicated, controlled, proficient, efficient, and knowledgeable. I don't suffer fools, Loki." Her lips curled into a seductive smile. "Are you one?"
"Absolutely not!"
"Then I'll see you at the Arena of War."
He watched her sashay away from the library, and Natasha grinned when she could hear him gulp. Oh, yes. Maybe Janet had a point in letting others know how she felt.
Then again, it was so much more fun to play with them and see how they danced.
Mean ballerina, indeed.
The End
Series: #2 in Avengers Academy
Author: Eustacia Vye
Author's e-mail: eustacia_vye28@hotmail.com
Pairing: Loki/Natasha
Rating: PG (for innuendo, because Janet's not as innocent as she looks!)
Summary: There's only one chair to read books at the library. And only one spot to work on potions or chemistry experiments. In this school, it's also a time honored tradition to gossip about classmates and try to fix each other up.
Watching Tony tutor Loki in chemistry was utterly hilarious. Loki didn't need the help, for one thing, and Natasha knew for a fact that Tony was only doing it to avoid detention. Pym was upset about an explosion in one of his basement labs, and Natasha was willing to bet that Tony was at the bottom of it. The blast marks on the walls when she snuck in seemed to point to him, and he flinched when Professor Pym did his trademark "That's science!" fist bump. Or when one of Enchantress' potions exploded.
Natasha scowled when she approached the library. Loki was at the main desk, books on mythology piled up around him. "You're in my seat," she growled at him.
He didn't even bother to look up, the conceited ass. "Go get another chair. I got here first."
She had her psychology books under her arm and resisted the temptation to smash him upside the head with them. "You're usually in the back of the library hiding from the teachers. Get out of my seat and let me study."
"You act like there's only one seat," Loki huffed, finally looking up.
Leaning in, she put on her most threatening expression. It was enough that he was startled and jerked back a bit before he could catch himself. "Get. Out. Of. My. Seat," she growled.
"Or what?" he asked after a moment, pasting a smirk on his lips.
"Then we'll see who really is better at knife work."
Loki gave her a long look. "Impressive."
Tapping her foot, she gave him a pointed look. "Well?"
After a moment, clearly considering his options, he scooted over. "This is my bargain."
Resisting the urge to slam her books down, Natasha crowded into his space. She smiled sweetly when he made a complaining noise. "You can scurry back to the shadows of the stacks if you prefer." Her voice was low and menacing, making him blink.
"What makes you think you can threaten a god?" he asked, puffing up his chest a bit.
She rolled her eyes impatiently. "Even minor gods can be hurt."
"I am not minor!" Loki snapped.
Grasping his wrist, Natasha bent it back in a deft motion that had him twisting in his seat to lessen the pressure on the bones there. She let out a bored huff of breath. "I really would like to study now. Do shut up."
Loki scowled at her when she let go, and cradled his wrist close to his chest. A curl of green magic snaked around his wrist as if it was a healing spell, and she gave him a sickly sweet smile.
From then on, however, he quickly got out of her way when she headed to her seat at her desk in the library. Most of the time, he had a haughty expression and pretended that he was done studying, but his sidelong glances at her let her know that she had made an impression on him.
Natasha willfully ignored the curl of satisfaction in her chest that threatened to become more.
***
"I feel almost bad for him," Tony sighed, looking at Taskmaster and Enchantress sitting together in the cafeteria. "She's only using him."
"Because you know that from experience," Janet said sympathetically, then took a huge spoonful of her frozen yogurt. "Did she break your heart, Tony?"
"No! No, no, it's not like that. Not jealous at all."
Steve was walking past their table with Sam, and Janet let out a screech. "Over here, boys! Join us!" she called, waving them over. "We have plenty of room!" She scooted closer to Tony and bumped him with her butt. "Move over."
Tony rolled his eyes with a smile and did just that. "Hey. President Rogers and Vice-President Wilson," he said with an exaggerated nod. "Congratulations."
"It was a solid platform," Steve said, putting his tray down. He sat down across from Tony and pulled out the chair next to him for Sam. "We have to attend student council meetings and some of the administration board meetings, but-"
"Wait, you get a chance to meet Pepper on the regular?"
"Of course I do. She works as an assistant for Director Fury, too. She's only a student part time."
"You know, Steve, if you ever need help, I could be a technical advisor." At Steve's dubious expression, Tony flashed him a charming smile. "Look. We both know that I'm not a fan of being handed things or attending a bunch of boring meetings. What I love doing is tinkering with tech, building robots, conferring with JARVIS, that kind of thing. I mean, I spent four hours this morning studying alien armor. Mine is better, but still."
Sam snickered, and covered it up with a cough. "Couldn't tell," he finally said.
That didn't faze Tony at all. "That's what I love doing. Not the paperwork thing. So if you need me to help the Academy with some kind of tech, I'm your man."
"Well, it can't always be a problem solved by tech," Steve said diplomatically. "But I'll keep that in mind. I usually like to solve the problem with good old-fashioned sweat and hard work."
"Mostly sweat," Sam snarked, bumping his shoulder playfully.
"How else will you get anything done?"
Tony laughed. "How does everyone feel about me building an army of robots?"
"Tony? No," Janet said firmly. "Creepy."
"Worse than clowns," Sam agreed.
"What? They can serve so many purposes! No one thinks my guy at Club A is a problem."
"He acts almost human," Steve said in a hesitant tone. He shot Tony an awkward and embarrassed expression. "I mean, I found myself talking to him about my old pal Bucky from when I was a kid back in Brooklyn. I hadn't thought of it in years, yet there I was nearly bawling like a baby because I miss Bucky."
Sam put an arm around Steve's shoulders as Janet reached across the table and gave his hand a squeeze. "Happens, Steve."
"This campus is weird," Janet said with a sage nod. "Let's just blame the time fog for that. Or gossip about our classmates."
"That's hardly a good thing to do," Steve said with a frown. "I'd feel bad."
"Time honored tradition, Cap," Tony chirped.
His frown didn't lessen even a fraction. "It's not a good thing to do about friends."
"You're friends with Taskmaster?" Tony asked incredulously. "What's his first name?"
Steve was obviously put on the spot, and looked at his food tray in chagrin. "Um..."
"Listen. Not important, anyway. Jan and I were just saying how Enchantress is using him, and she probably isn't interested in him at all. Poor guy."
Sighing, Steve shook his head. "She's... Well, I was taught not to say anything bad about others."
"So you have dirt?" Janet asked, leaning forward eagerly.
"I feel awkward around her. Uncomfortable."
"Like your pants are too tight uncomfortable?" Tony joked. "Ow! Quit it!" he cried when Janet elbowed him in the ribs.
"There's no emotion there. She really doesn't care about anyone but herself. Or humiliating others," Steve explained, still appearing unhappy. "Talking with her just leaves me cold."
Janet nodded knowingly. "Yeah. Catty, stuck up and not as pretty as she thinks she is. I'll bet she isn't as good at enchanting as she says she is. But of course, she and Loki are rivals, so asking him isn't exactly worth it."
"Taskmaster isn't that bad a guy, anyway," Steve told them, starting to dig into his lunch. "He focuses more on fighting and trying to be better than everybody else, but he's a hard worker and isn't really mean about it. I don't mind sparring with him."
"You know he got a shield just because you do, right?" Sam asked.
"Well, yeah. But it's not like I have the trademark on shields. I mean, I was helping you with the angles to bounce yours off of the statues and buildings around the quad."
Tony gave a dramatic gasp. "Steve! You're breaking one of Fury's rules! How can you be the director's pet if you're causing a ruckus in the quad?"
Steve rolled his eyes. "Daisy can shoot jets of stone out from the ground in the middle of the quad. The Hulk does yoga. Tigra takes a catnap on the benches. I think having a shield ricochet off of Avengers Hall is small potatoes in comparison."
Pondering that, Tony nodded. "All right, you've got a point. Maybe it's just me he yells at, then."
"That's because you keep trying to do a flyby next to his office in the Triskelion that'll break the sound barrier and his windows," Janet pointed out. "He's got no problem with me shrinking down and buzzing around to get the scoop."
"You guys are supposed to be my friends," Tony whined.
Janet squealed and clutched his arm up against her chest. "The bestest! But I'll still call you on your crap because I love you, Tony. Now, eat up. This afternoon we have chemistry, and I have a feeling I'm going to be blowing up glassware again."
***
Bored with the tactics class she should have been studying for with Steve, Sam, and Janet, Natasha began making a list of all the students in Avengers Academy. She listed their strengths and weaknesses, usual arms and combat styles. Janet plunked her chin on Natasha's shoulder to look over her notes. "Well, I suppose this is tactics," she murmured dubiously.
Steve took the list and frowned a little as he read her commentary. "Why are you counting my dancing as a combat technique?"
"You're the one that said it was another form of practice," she pointed out. "And going at it for an eight hour marathon certainly shows stamina."
He sighed and shook his head ruefully, handing the list back to her. "I told you, I didn't realize it was eight hours!"
"This from the guy that can run an entire marathon in forty-five minutes," Sam teased, bumping shoulders with him.
"You cheat!" Steve replied. "Don't think I didn't see you use your jet pack!"
"My code name is Falcon. Of course I'm going to use the wings!"
Janet giggled and looked back at the list. "You put my stingers in as a positive!"
"They really do sting! Not the same as my Widow's Bites, but they're like needles."
"I am the Wasp," she preened. Glancing down the list, her eyes widened almost comically. "Oh, dear."
"What?"
"Facility with staves, swords, magical attacks, misdirection, manipulation and evasion," she read with a grin. "I think you're impressed with somebody."
Natasha crossed her arms beneath her breasts and glared at Janet. "Give that back."
"I think you li-i-i-ke somebody," she sing-songed, jumping out of her seat when Natasha lunged for her list.
Sam plucked it from Janet's outstretched hand looked it over. "Loki?"
Steve looked almost hurt. "I thought we had a connection, Natasha."
"We do. Comrades. Fighting Hydra students, we move in sync. I really appreciate that."
He appeared thoughtful for a moment, then nodded. "Okay, point. But why wouldn't you want to share your tactics assessments? It would really help with our project-"
Janet patted Steve's arm while Sam groaned and covered his face with hands. "You poor, poor thing. All you think about is combat."
"You've got the corner on fashion and parties," Steve told her.
"My darling Steve, we have to get you dating."
"Not Enchantress," he replied quickly, making the others snicker. "What? She's... I'm waiting for the right partner, and she's not it."
Turning to Natasha, Janet grinned conspiratorially. "I think you should just tell him. The snark and fighting in the library - and yes, don't think you're fooling anybody about that - is cute and all, but I think it's too subtle for him. He's an emotional idiot, you know. Jealous over his jock brother and feeling unappreciated. C'mon, Nat, it's going to be too easy to get him to go out with you if you want to get to know him better."
Steve was confused. "Wait. Who are we talking about? I didn't think Taskmaster had a brother."
Natasha winced. "No, not him. He wants a crew so badly, and it just reeks of desperation."
"I feel sorry for the guy," Sam admitted, handing Natasha her list. "I mean, he trains so hard, tries to get in with new cliques, and just can't fit in."
"So you hang out with him," Janet suggested.
"Um... He wanted to tag along on a date I had with Kamala," Sam admitted uncomfortably. "It took me forever to work up the nerve to ask her on a date, and he tagged along because he thought it was going to be a combat exercise and not heading out for a movie."
Janet clucked sympathetically. "He doesn't ping my buttons, but next time, send him my way. Maybe I can see if I get him to use scissors and straight pins as weapons."
"He would," Natasha commented dryly.
"Should we feel terrible about gossiping about our classmates?" Steve asked uncertainly.
"Hell, no," Janet chirped cheerfully. "This is a tactics project. Discussing our classmates totally counts as tactics." She turned to Natasha. "And I didn't forget about you, never fear. I'll make you a kickass outfit to impress him with."
"Impress who?" Steve asked.
"Loki," Janet and Sam said in unison.
Natasha groaned as Steve looked at her incredulously. "Don't say it," she warned him.
"What? If he hurts you, he has to answer to me. I'll shield bash him into a whole other realm if I have to," Steve told her.
Touched, Natasha blinked at him and smiled shyly. "Oh. Thanks. Not what I was expecting."
"He's clever and tries to collect secrets. He's strong at hand to hand and blades," Steve replied with a shrug. "I can see why he'd appeal to you. There's a strong basis to build from. I really didn't see the same for you and Tony."
"I am not discussing dates with any of you," Natasha declared.
"Tactics!" Janet crowed.
"You suck," she scowled.
"And swallow," she replied with a cheeky grin. "If I really like him, at least. If not, I spit."
"Whoa, whoa, way too much information!" Sam sputtered, waving his hands as if he could ward away her words.
"I suppose I shouldn't discriminate," Janet mused, ignoring Sam. "I mean, I haven't seen it personally, but I hear girls can squirt, too. I wonder if I should learn how to do that."
"Oh. My. God," Sam sputtered. "I think I need to get out of here."
"What's squirting?" Steve asked, frowning. "Is that a specific combat tactic I haven't heard of?"
"I need to get out of here," Sam muttered, shaking his head. He pointed at Janet's innocent expression. "You are an evil mastermind," he declared as he stood up. "And now my fragile mind is blown to pieces and I have to go chill in my room for a bit."
"At least I cleaned up in there and redesigned everything!" Janet chirped. "So soothing in your room now, and it fits your personality better. If fashion doesn't work out, I suppose I could interior design, too."
Steve sighed and shook his head, yanking on Sam's arm. "Don't leave," he pleaded. "We got off track, but we still have our group project to do."
"We can simulate an attack on the Academy," Natasha said. "Hydra or AIM, either school has a rivalry with us."
"I like it!" Janet said, grabbing a pen and turning to a fresh page in her notebook. She began to sketch the layout of the campus. "Assuming the design doesn't change again, we can discuss the pros and cons of concentrating attacks in the quad vs. along the walkways between the main buildings."
"It's ridiculous how entire buildings get shuffled around and sidewalks laid out like it's no big thing," Sam muttered. "I think we should blame Professor Pym for that one."
"Why?" Steve asked, frowning.
"Those particles he talks about. And that science stuff? Do you think he experimented on the buildings to move them around?"
"Yeah, but look at the design," Janet said, pointing to her sketch. "It's very neat and orderly. The man's desk is a mess and he can't organize anything to save his life, not even the chemicals in his lab." She cleared her throat. "Um. Not that I went looking or anything," she said, glaring at Natasha to remain silent. The redhead sat with an innocent expression, so Janet relaxed a fraction. "No, if I had to guess, I'd say Pepper was behind the layout."
"She's definitely organized, meticulous and detail oriented," Steve conceded thoughtfully. "I think Miss Potts would announce buildings moving ahead of time, though."
"Someone she works with, then? Someone we haven't met yet?" Natasha offered.
"I wouldn't want to come on Administration's radar," Sam said, shaking his head. "They might yank my scholarship."
"I'm sure we'd all chip in and cover tuition for you if anyone was stupid enough to do that," Janet said fiercely. "No one's gonna threaten my friends here."
"Back to the matter at hand," Steve said, tapping on Janet's map. "Off topic again."
"Happens a lot."
"Let's call it diversionary tactics," Natasha said dryly. The others laughed. "If it works on us, I'm sure it'll work on whoever's dumb enough to try to invade the campus."
"All right. So maybe if we're going with distraction, we'd better divide up classmates. A number of us will fight, and others will try to draw invaders to the dance floor, the mess hall-"
"Cafeteria, Steve, we're not soldiers," Janet reminded him.
"-or the fields near the time fog that haven't been built on yet. It would keep damage to a minimum and no one would get hurt."
Janet tapped her fingers thoughtfully on the table. "Huh. I think we might have a pretty good plan. And I have just the outfit for an invasion like that." She looked around innocently at their groans. "What? I do! Want me to make you guys one?"
Sam paused. "Do I get to look cool?"
"The coolest," Janet promised.
"Then I'd love some."
"I'd want to look badass," Natasha declared.
"If you're fighting, sure," Janet agreed. "But if you're on the dance floor, we have to show off your killer legs and emphasize your assets."
"Maybe if we weaponize my jewelry."
"But of course! What do you take me for? I figure the cuffs would blend in nicely, but we can put points on the hairpins you'd use, and I could probably talk to the tech guys about a laser lipstick and directing compact-"
"You absolutely stole that idea from Sharon!" Natasha cried, amazed. She ignored the others' startled looks that she knew what Sharon's group was working on. "I love it. Carry on."
"Stilettos in the stiletto heels."
"I love you, Janet," Natasha said with a conspiratorial grin that had Sam leaning back against Steve a little nervously.
Janet preened as if it was simply her due. "Of course you do. But you like Loki more. So go ask him out and tell him how you feel, you big baby."
Startled, she made a choking noise. "So underhanded. I'd be prouder if it wasn't against me," Natasha admitted.
"What can I say? I learned from the best," Janet chirped. "So, I think we have a plan. You get to do details," she said, standing. "Text me other stuff if you want."
"Where are you going?" Steve asked, concerned.
"To Van Dyne's, of course," Janet huffed. "I have costumes and outfits and accessories to make!"
***
"I don't know what you hope to prove," Loki huffed, glaring at Natasha. "I've watched you at the range. I know how well you fare with pistols."
"So you've watched me."
His mouth opened and then shut, caught in the statement. He glowered, not quite flushing in embarrassment. For someone so pale, he never really got red in the face. "Perhaps," he hedged finally, eyes sliding away from hers.
"We've danced together before at Club A," Natasha said, knowing her voice was taking on a sultry note. "It was for the student orientation mixer, sure, and I like how graceful you were. I propose we try a different kind of dance."
Loki visibly swallowed, though his posture didn't change in the slightest. "Pistols are your forte," he said finally. "The way you leap while hitting the target dead center, as if it was no more than a ballet move..." He tried to twist his lips into a snide smile. "Perhaps that's why they call you the mean ballerina?"
Natasha hated that nickname. She wasn't mean. She just had no time for the false niceties and idiotic pageantry that a lot of the others seemed to thrive on. If she had to, she could play that game, but she would much rather delve to the root of the problems and fix it.
She reached over to his jacket and smoothed the lapel down. He held himself so very still, as if she was about to discharge her gauntlets on the sidewalk outside of the library. Really, she wasn't as gauche as all that. She would simply use a garrote wire in the alley behind the dorm if she really didn't like him.
"I am the Black Widow," she told him simply. "There are a great many names for me, usually by the ones frightened of me or who have little to no understanding of how I work."
"And what am I to call you then?" he asked, lifting his chin a notch.
She couldn't help but let her lips curl into a smile. "Let's see how you move in the arena. If I like what I see, maybe you can call me Natasha. Or Tasha, if you're really good."
"Oh." He was utterly nonplused, his staff nearly falling from his fingers in his shock. "You aren't simply teasing. You mean what you say."
"It's a different connotation of the word 'mean,' Loki," she purred. "People say I'm mean, cold, harsh, even bitchy. I prefer to say dedicated, controlled, proficient, efficient, and knowledgeable. I don't suffer fools, Loki." Her lips curled into a seductive smile. "Are you one?"
"Absolutely not!"
"Then I'll see you at the Arena of War."
He watched her sashay away from the library, and Natasha grinned when she could hear him gulp. Oh, yes. Maybe Janet had a point in letting others know how she felt.
Then again, it was so much more fun to play with them and see how they danced.
Mean ballerina, indeed.
The End