Walking After You, 6/6.
Sorry I didn't post this sooner, it's been a busy week...
Title: Walking After You
Author: Eustacia Vye
Author's e-mail: eustacia_vye28@hotmail.com
Pairing: Steve/Peggy, Wanda/Vision mentioned
Rating: PG-13
Notes: Not mine! Characters you recognize belong to other people, and I am just playing in their sandbox for fun. This is born of a text conversation with mynuet regarding the possibility of Peggy getting a version of the serum at some point in her colorful history. Civil War compliant (no, really!) because I was actually very pleased with characterizations in it, even if some of the plotting made me go O_o at times. I do reference things from season 3 of Agents of SHIELD as well as season 2 of Agent Carter, but I think it would still make sense if you haven't seen that. Part of chapter 1 inspired by this photo, because of course that's how they should be.
Summary: In the wake of the Sokovian Accords, the Avengers scramble to find a safe haven. That gets complicated when Nick Fury arrives, announcing that he found Peggy Carter. The real Peggy Carter.
Prior chapters:
One - Escape
Two - Misdirection And Discovery
Three - Becoming Again
Four - Violent Games
Five - Scars We Carry
Six - Wedding Bells
Peggy liked Jokotade, the dora milaje guard that T'Challa had assigned her. Usually the dora milaje were quite stoic and stern, their duty to guard and protect the king paramount in their minds. Jokotade wasn't any different, but she was less dismissive of the foreigners that T'Challa had allowed in their midst, particularly after the bomb that killed T'Chaka. The two often talked about their families and their countries; Peggy's views were that of the England she had left behind, but it was just as foreign to Jokotade as Wakanda was for Peggy. "Is it terribly rude to only include wedding elements from my time and country, when we're living here and fairly dependent on the goodwill of the King?" Peggy asked Jokotade.
Jokotade was a tall, lithe and muscular warrior as all of the dora milaje were. Her black skin made Peggy appear that much paler next to her, and her eyes were a golden brown in color that matched the amber jewelry she tended to wear. Her hair was pulled into tight braids, occasional amber beads threaded into it. Peggy was open in her admiration for the style, as well as for Jokotade's physical workouts. It had been she that suggested the trainer for everyone's sparring sessions, her cousin Yemi.
"I think it would seem far more rude if you tried to have a traditional Wakandan joining ceremony, when you clearly are not from our country," Jokotade told her politely.
"Oh! Of course, I'm sorry," Peggy said, biting her lip and pausing as they walked in one of the royal gardens. "I don't want to seem ungrateful for all your people are doing for us."
"Perhaps if you incorporated the flowers or entertainments," Jokotade suggested, gesturing around them. She lifted a hand, palm up, cupping a large white blossom. "These are a symbol of purity and hope, which would undoubtedly be welcome for your wedding."
Lighting up, Peggy grinned at her. "Oh, it's lovely. And a lovely idea, thank you. The only other arrangements I had a hand in planning had been in the midst of a war, and there wasn't much thought for meaning, only availability. Please, how else can we make this a celebration?"
"It would depend on which tradition you would choose to follow," Jokotade told her. "There are a great many tribes in Wakanda. Here in the capital, in the central districts, are the more technologically advanced and most like your Western countries. But outer districts have more farmland, ranches, roving tribes of nomadic herders and gatherers." She shrugged and then wove one of the white blossoms into Peggy's hair. "There are other cultures present in our country, and many still worship the ancient gods."
"Like the Black Panther statue," Peggy said.
"Yes. Or the goddess Bast, the Hyena, the Lion, the Crocodile or the White Gorilla. I do not believe any of these would be best for you."
"Probably not. But perhaps something that would be more like it is in the capital. You're right, it's closest to what Steve and I would be familiar with. Perhaps the music, or a traditional dance that the people here have when celebrating a union? Or a good luck charm of some kind? Given our history, something like that would be very much appreciated."
Jokotade laughed, nodding fractionally. "I may have heard some of the story, yes."
"If I were a sister or cousin, what would you advise for me?"
That sobered her immediately. "I would tell you to be certain he is worthy of your might. That he must be firm of hand, strong in belief, tender in heart, and formidable in will. He would be like an arm, an extension of your body and soul, and the two of you would meet and join in harmony. There will be difficult times ahead, even for the most harmonious of couples, and you must be certain he can forge through them with you."
Peggy smiled warmly at her, eyes watering a bit. "Steve is all that to me. He always has been."
"I know you best, Peggy Carter, and I believe you are all these things as well. Your children will be strong in character and body, formidable warriors and compassionate people of whatever nation they will reside in."
"I hadn't thought much about children before," Peggy murmured, taking a breath. "There hadn't been time for it. But perhaps now..."
"And lacking an extended family, you would likely have need of a crèche."
"Oh, dear, so much to consider," Peggy said, blinking.
"Yes, there is," Jokotade agreed. "And as I would tell my sister or cousin, there is time to consider such things, if you wish them. Given your status in our country-"
"Status?"
"Our King honors you in ways only given to those of high status in the court and tribal societies. So if you are of sufficient ranking, there are certain accommodations that will be given, as well as sufficient help."
"We certainly didn't come here with the intention of being declared dukes and duchesses!"
"Which is why, despite the inevitable rumors in the market and square, I continue to guard you as I would a member of the extended royal family. You and the others are not here to hang onto the court to gather riches, or steal the secret of our mines. Your intentions and wishes to help are true, but the execution of them was lacking."
"I think you know quite a bit more than you ever let on," Peggy told her wryly, plucking a blossom to present to her. "I like that. Can you help me with the details? Steve was always rather rubbish at that sort of thing."
Jokotade laughed and inclined her head. "Kawa, it would be my honor."
Peggy's smile was bright and happy at being called Jokotade's friend. "Let's begin."
***
Natasha, Wanda, Peggy and Yemi met Laura Barton and the kids in one of the historic parks within the central district. Jokotade had suggested it as the wedding and reception site, and Peggy instantly fell in love with it. "It's beautiful," she murmured, eyes taking on a suspicious shine. "It reminds me of the park at my grandmother's home as well as the layout of the mansion where Angie and I lived in New York." She reached out and grasped Yemi's hand tightly in both of hers, watery smile in place. "This is exactly the place I would have married in if I had managed it in my own time."
Yemi smiled at her graciously. "I believe that is why Jokotade thought it would be appropriate."
Cooper looked around the park and for a moment reminded Peggy of Clint's thoughtful expression. "I guess it'll be a lot of folding chairs and tables. And putting together someplace to be the dancefloor."
"Unless we get to go barefoot?" Lila asked hopefully, giving Yemi a gap toothed grin.
The warrior tugged gently on one of Lila's braids. "It would not be my decision, little one. The bride and groom should make that decision."
"Please Aunt Peggy?" Lila crooned, bouncing over to Peggy and then tugging on her hand. "It would be so cool, and it's warm! We could all wear sandals, and then when we get to the grass, take 'em off and run around. It'll be fun!"
"Steve dancing barefoot?" Natasha snickered before Peggy could reply. "I think I like this idea. He needs to loosen up pretty badly."
"He has too much of a sense of responsibility," Laura said, shaking her head. "We all know that kind," she added. "But it's part of the charm, I think."
"Steve and I are far too much alike," Peggy agreed with a smile. "And I don't think there are too many other children that will be there, Lila," she told the girl apologetically.
Lila frowned. "Cooper and Amadeus spend all their free time together, and Nathaniel's annoying." She looked to her mother before she could say anything else. "Sorry, Mom, but he is. He chases me around and he takes my stuff and he gets my lip gloss all over the walls. I tell him all the time it's not the glitter glue from the art supplies, but he doesn't listen!"
"You know what I think?" Natasha asked, defusing the situation before Laura could, sweeping Lila up into her arm. "You and I should spend more time together. I think I've settled in enough, and I still train with Bucky, and your Dad and Uncle Steve. How 'bout you and I do something special while the boys talk engineering stuff?"
The girl's eyes shone. "You think we can do the code breaking?"
Peggy stared at Natasha while Laura smiled indulgently in thanks. "What have you been teaching that child, Natasha?" she asked incredulously.
"Old 40's numeric codes and Morse code. You know, useful stuff."
"I'm going to be a spy like Mom was and Dad and Aunt Nat are," Lila said proudly. "I'mma keep the world safe from the bad guys we're hiding from."
"This world is quite different from what I'm used to," Peggy said, shaking her head. "But I'm sure if you're going to keep it safe, it's in good hands."
Beaming, Lila pushed out of Natasha's embrace and then took off to look at the gardens, dragging her mother along. "Eight years old and already wanting to save the world," Peggy mused, a ghost of a smile on her lips. "I was like that at her age, too. I suppose some things are eternal, no matter what the age."
Natasha grinned at her. "See? You'll do just fine in this era."
***
The wedding itself was a blur of music and well wishes; the Western styled ceremony was performed by T'Challa himself, which no one had expected. Various white and red Wakandan flowers had been arranged throughout the space set aside for the wedding. Seats were more than just folding chairs and card tables, and it was open to the public as well. The people were respectful of the royal guests, dignitaries and dora milaje standing watch. Most didn't even gawk at their King and these foreign dignitaries in the public space, but looked on them with awe and reverence. T'Challa even made mention of the people in the service, stating that Steve Rogers and Margaret Carter welcomed the gods of multiple faiths and the people of different lands and times to witness their union. If anyone thought it was odd to have bare feet along with fancy dresses or suits, no one said a thing.
Bucky awkwardly approached Natasha during the reception, thrusting a red rose at her. "Here," he said, voice clipped. "For you."
She took it and gave him a smile. "Comfortable with the idea of being awake, then?"
"We're working on the triggers. Getting them out."
"How?" she asked, curious. "Deprogramming is such a tricky thing."
"меньше знаешь," he murmured, shaking his head. "I don't... You wouldn't do anything. I know that. But..."
"It pays to be careful," Natasha acknowledged, a sad edge to her smile.
"Yeah. It does. I can't... I have to be vigilant. I can't be the Winter Soldier. Don't want to be," he corrected. "I have those memories, and I can't stop them from coming."
"You have to own them, and find a way to overcome them," she agreed. "It doesn't necessarily make it hurt less, but the accounting gives purpose. Choice." She held the rose out to him, a warmer edge to her smile. "Help me put it in my hair?"
"The thorns will snag."
Natasha's smile widened. "All the best roses have thorns. I'm not afraid of something sharp."
Bucky blinked at her, as if he was catching an undercurrent to her words. "Oh. If I am?" he asked, gently working the rose into the elaborate braids and curls in her hair.
"Sleep on it. See if it still scares you in the morning."
"Somehow, I don't think it'll be that easy," he replied softly, hands dropping from her side.
"Fear keeps you sharp. But you can't let it rule you, either." She leaned forward and pressed a kiss to his cheek. "If I'm not afraid, maybe you shouldn't be." Stepping back, she flashed him an enigmatic smile. "крепче спишь."
He watched as she went to the Barton children, seated with Helen and Amadeus Cho. Clint and Laura were dancing in the area cleared to be the dance floor, faces alight with happiness. Steve and Peggy had the same look at each other, the same shining delight in sharing the same space again. They'd always only had eyes for each other. He remembered that.
Natasha danced easily with Cooper Barton, surprising Bucky with how easily she smiled at the boy. She took a turn with Amadeus Cho as well, though the two seemed to be discussing something serious rather than simply enjoying the dancing as Cooper had. He was so absorbed watching the others having a good time that he didn't notice T'Challa sliding into place beside him where he stood. He didn't visibly startle when he realized it, but nodded at the sovereign giving him a pointed glance. "You move like a predator," Bucky commented.
"Do you still see yourself as prey or a rabid beast?"
Startled by the bold question, Bucky shook his head. "Not sure how I see myself. Not the Winter Soldier, in any case."
"Then your time here has been well spent. As I'm sure theirs is," T'Challa said, looking toward Steve and Peggy. "There has been grief enough. Pain and vengeance consumes all it touches if you let it. So does regret."
"There's a lot to make up for," Bucky murmured softly. "If I even can."
"If you think you cannot, you never will," T'Challa told him. "There are legacies to live up to, and it is a great shadow to walk behind them." He paused thoughtfully. "History will decide if we are wrong or made poor choices. But if you don't even try, you will never succeed."
"It's not that easy," Bucky sighed.
"Nothing worthwhile ever is." T'Challa gave him a formal nod. "But I am giving you time and a place to heal and discover your true nature, and the path you must take to get there. I am sure that the spirits will guide you."
"How do you know if you do the right thing?" Bucky murmured, looking at the king with a plaintive expression. "Sometimes I don't even trust myself."
T'Challa paused. "You train with some of our fine warriors. Ask them if you are trustworthy."
"Steve and Peg say that I am." He paused. "The dora milaje don't hate me, so I guess they trust me not to do something stupid."
"Do you not trust them in their judgments?"
"Most of the time. Sometimes I'm not sure they're able to be impartial judges."
"Perhaps. They certainly have their sentimentality."
"Exactly."
"It makes them human," T'Challa said, looking over the festivities. "And your doubt and guilt, no matter how painful, also makes you human. You are not the machine others wished you to be. None here would force you into that position. You have not harmed any of the dora milaje, even given opportunity to do so. You have chosen to be the man that Captain Rogers and Agent Carter remember you to be." He turned back to look at Bucky's surprised and uncertain features. "And most importantly, perhaps, I don't feel you are a danger to my country. I would hunt you down if I thought you would be. My people are my first priority, not you, not your feelings, not your friends. But you do not endanger my country or my people, and the fact that you care tells me about the man you had been."
"Thank you," Bucky murmured.
"We are all the sum of our parts, the product of our histories. We cannot forget our history, but we cannot let it rule our future, either."
"Hard to do."
"True. But worth the effort." T'Challa paused. "Dr. Yelba told me you made great strides working with her. You are even beginning to work at the programming, and she is hopeful that it will be successful. She would not lie about your progress."
Bucky blew out a breath. "Hard to think about it sometimes."
"Don't dwell on the past. Remember it, but don't let it rule who you are and what you can become." He clapped a hand on Bucky's shoulder. "And this is a wedding. Smile. Enjoy the time with your friends before their honeymoon."
"I can try."
T'Challa nodded, then moved to a cluster of Wakandan people that looked rather important, even if Bucky didn't recognize them. He did his best to move through the crowds, but was so intent on keeping his head down that he didn't realize Steve had been looking for him.
"Buck, wait up!"
Startled, Bucky looked around. "Where's Peggy? Why isn't she with you?"
"Talking with Lila for a bit. Cute kid, you know? I think it's giving her ideas."
"Jesus Christ," Bucky said in amazement. "Both of you charge ahead without thinking. Your poor kid will run into traffic without thinking twice."
Steve laughed, not offended in the slightest. "All to rescue a kitten, I'm sure," he agreed.
Bucky smiled at him, a little wistfully. "I'm happy for you, Steve. You deserve something nice. Something good."
"I don't do idle very well. Peggy doesn't either. I don't think any of us do, really. The house, the picket fence, the quiet..." He shook his head. "It doesn't feel right. I don't think I could actually settle down and have a quiet life in the suburbs."
"So then what?"
"Eventually, I'll have to go back out into the world. I still believe in what we did. That saving others that can't save themselves is the right thing to do. I won't let a politician tell me who I can or can't rescue. I can't stand aside if someone needs help."
"It's what got us into this mess," Bucky said ruefully, shaking his head.
Steve clapped Bucky on the shoulder, same as he always used to do in the war. "You don't have to come with me and Peggy when it happens," he said earnestly. "I would never ask it of you, you know. There's work enough for you to do."
Suddenly, Bucky felt a fierce stab of pride in his chest. He realized what the others had given up to help him, to live up to their ideals. They sacrificed so much so that he wouldn't be tortured again or used against his will. He hadn't asked them to, but it was their choice, and it was their way of helping him when he hadn't been able to help himself.
He could do the same.
"I told you before," Bucky said slowly. "That punk kid from Brooklyn that could never run from a dumbass fight? I'm following him." He grinned in response to Steve's slow smile. "I'm always walking after you, Steve. Don't you forget it, even if I do."
"I'll make sure you never forget," Steve promised.
"Go and rescue Peggy from scheming little girls and dance."
"How about you?"
Bucky gave him a sly smile. "I might actually have prospects. Choices. It's kind of exciting to see where things go."
Steve grinned at him and pulled him into a tight embrace. "Definitely exciting."
Peggy actually walked up to them both and put her arms around them as well. "I'm joining this love fest, boys." Her voice was strong and fond. "I'm so pleased we've all found each other." She smiled, her eyes suspiciously moist.
They were all sure that this was only the beginning, and they would help each other discover what the future had in store.
The End
Title: Walking After You
Author: Eustacia Vye
Author's e-mail: eustacia_vye28@hotmail.com
Pairing: Steve/Peggy, Wanda/Vision mentioned
Rating: PG-13
Notes: Not mine! Characters you recognize belong to other people, and I am just playing in their sandbox for fun. This is born of a text conversation with mynuet regarding the possibility of Peggy getting a version of the serum at some point in her colorful history. Civil War compliant (no, really!) because I was actually very pleased with characterizations in it, even if some of the plotting made me go O_o at times. I do reference things from season 3 of Agents of SHIELD as well as season 2 of Agent Carter, but I think it would still make sense if you haven't seen that. Part of chapter 1 inspired by this photo, because of course that's how they should be.
Summary: In the wake of the Sokovian Accords, the Avengers scramble to find a safe haven. That gets complicated when Nick Fury arrives, announcing that he found Peggy Carter. The real Peggy Carter.
Prior chapters:
One - Escape
Two - Misdirection And Discovery
Three - Becoming Again
Four - Violent Games
Five - Scars We Carry
Six - Wedding Bells
Peggy liked Jokotade, the dora milaje guard that T'Challa had assigned her. Usually the dora milaje were quite stoic and stern, their duty to guard and protect the king paramount in their minds. Jokotade wasn't any different, but she was less dismissive of the foreigners that T'Challa had allowed in their midst, particularly after the bomb that killed T'Chaka. The two often talked about their families and their countries; Peggy's views were that of the England she had left behind, but it was just as foreign to Jokotade as Wakanda was for Peggy. "Is it terribly rude to only include wedding elements from my time and country, when we're living here and fairly dependent on the goodwill of the King?" Peggy asked Jokotade.
Jokotade was a tall, lithe and muscular warrior as all of the dora milaje were. Her black skin made Peggy appear that much paler next to her, and her eyes were a golden brown in color that matched the amber jewelry she tended to wear. Her hair was pulled into tight braids, occasional amber beads threaded into it. Peggy was open in her admiration for the style, as well as for Jokotade's physical workouts. It had been she that suggested the trainer for everyone's sparring sessions, her cousin Yemi.
"I think it would seem far more rude if you tried to have a traditional Wakandan joining ceremony, when you clearly are not from our country," Jokotade told her politely.
"Oh! Of course, I'm sorry," Peggy said, biting her lip and pausing as they walked in one of the royal gardens. "I don't want to seem ungrateful for all your people are doing for us."
"Perhaps if you incorporated the flowers or entertainments," Jokotade suggested, gesturing around them. She lifted a hand, palm up, cupping a large white blossom. "These are a symbol of purity and hope, which would undoubtedly be welcome for your wedding."
Lighting up, Peggy grinned at her. "Oh, it's lovely. And a lovely idea, thank you. The only other arrangements I had a hand in planning had been in the midst of a war, and there wasn't much thought for meaning, only availability. Please, how else can we make this a celebration?"
"It would depend on which tradition you would choose to follow," Jokotade told her. "There are a great many tribes in Wakanda. Here in the capital, in the central districts, are the more technologically advanced and most like your Western countries. But outer districts have more farmland, ranches, roving tribes of nomadic herders and gatherers." She shrugged and then wove one of the white blossoms into Peggy's hair. "There are other cultures present in our country, and many still worship the ancient gods."
"Like the Black Panther statue," Peggy said.
"Yes. Or the goddess Bast, the Hyena, the Lion, the Crocodile or the White Gorilla. I do not believe any of these would be best for you."
"Probably not. But perhaps something that would be more like it is in the capital. You're right, it's closest to what Steve and I would be familiar with. Perhaps the music, or a traditional dance that the people here have when celebrating a union? Or a good luck charm of some kind? Given our history, something like that would be very much appreciated."
Jokotade laughed, nodding fractionally. "I may have heard some of the story, yes."
"If I were a sister or cousin, what would you advise for me?"
That sobered her immediately. "I would tell you to be certain he is worthy of your might. That he must be firm of hand, strong in belief, tender in heart, and formidable in will. He would be like an arm, an extension of your body and soul, and the two of you would meet and join in harmony. There will be difficult times ahead, even for the most harmonious of couples, and you must be certain he can forge through them with you."
Peggy smiled warmly at her, eyes watering a bit. "Steve is all that to me. He always has been."
"I know you best, Peggy Carter, and I believe you are all these things as well. Your children will be strong in character and body, formidable warriors and compassionate people of whatever nation they will reside in."
"I hadn't thought much about children before," Peggy murmured, taking a breath. "There hadn't been time for it. But perhaps now..."
"And lacking an extended family, you would likely have need of a crèche."
"Oh, dear, so much to consider," Peggy said, blinking.
"Yes, there is," Jokotade agreed. "And as I would tell my sister or cousin, there is time to consider such things, if you wish them. Given your status in our country-"
"Status?"
"Our King honors you in ways only given to those of high status in the court and tribal societies. So if you are of sufficient ranking, there are certain accommodations that will be given, as well as sufficient help."
"We certainly didn't come here with the intention of being declared dukes and duchesses!"
"Which is why, despite the inevitable rumors in the market and square, I continue to guard you as I would a member of the extended royal family. You and the others are not here to hang onto the court to gather riches, or steal the secret of our mines. Your intentions and wishes to help are true, but the execution of them was lacking."
"I think you know quite a bit more than you ever let on," Peggy told her wryly, plucking a blossom to present to her. "I like that. Can you help me with the details? Steve was always rather rubbish at that sort of thing."
Jokotade laughed and inclined her head. "Kawa, it would be my honor."
Peggy's smile was bright and happy at being called Jokotade's friend. "Let's begin."
***
Natasha, Wanda, Peggy and Yemi met Laura Barton and the kids in one of the historic parks within the central district. Jokotade had suggested it as the wedding and reception site, and Peggy instantly fell in love with it. "It's beautiful," she murmured, eyes taking on a suspicious shine. "It reminds me of the park at my grandmother's home as well as the layout of the mansion where Angie and I lived in New York." She reached out and grasped Yemi's hand tightly in both of hers, watery smile in place. "This is exactly the place I would have married in if I had managed it in my own time."
Yemi smiled at her graciously. "I believe that is why Jokotade thought it would be appropriate."
Cooper looked around the park and for a moment reminded Peggy of Clint's thoughtful expression. "I guess it'll be a lot of folding chairs and tables. And putting together someplace to be the dancefloor."
"Unless we get to go barefoot?" Lila asked hopefully, giving Yemi a gap toothed grin.
The warrior tugged gently on one of Lila's braids. "It would not be my decision, little one. The bride and groom should make that decision."
"Please Aunt Peggy?" Lila crooned, bouncing over to Peggy and then tugging on her hand. "It would be so cool, and it's warm! We could all wear sandals, and then when we get to the grass, take 'em off and run around. It'll be fun!"
"Steve dancing barefoot?" Natasha snickered before Peggy could reply. "I think I like this idea. He needs to loosen up pretty badly."
"He has too much of a sense of responsibility," Laura said, shaking her head. "We all know that kind," she added. "But it's part of the charm, I think."
"Steve and I are far too much alike," Peggy agreed with a smile. "And I don't think there are too many other children that will be there, Lila," she told the girl apologetically.
Lila frowned. "Cooper and Amadeus spend all their free time together, and Nathaniel's annoying." She looked to her mother before she could say anything else. "Sorry, Mom, but he is. He chases me around and he takes my stuff and he gets my lip gloss all over the walls. I tell him all the time it's not the glitter glue from the art supplies, but he doesn't listen!"
"You know what I think?" Natasha asked, defusing the situation before Laura could, sweeping Lila up into her arm. "You and I should spend more time together. I think I've settled in enough, and I still train with Bucky, and your Dad and Uncle Steve. How 'bout you and I do something special while the boys talk engineering stuff?"
The girl's eyes shone. "You think we can do the code breaking?"
Peggy stared at Natasha while Laura smiled indulgently in thanks. "What have you been teaching that child, Natasha?" she asked incredulously.
"Old 40's numeric codes and Morse code. You know, useful stuff."
"I'm going to be a spy like Mom was and Dad and Aunt Nat are," Lila said proudly. "I'mma keep the world safe from the bad guys we're hiding from."
"This world is quite different from what I'm used to," Peggy said, shaking her head. "But I'm sure if you're going to keep it safe, it's in good hands."
Beaming, Lila pushed out of Natasha's embrace and then took off to look at the gardens, dragging her mother along. "Eight years old and already wanting to save the world," Peggy mused, a ghost of a smile on her lips. "I was like that at her age, too. I suppose some things are eternal, no matter what the age."
Natasha grinned at her. "See? You'll do just fine in this era."
***
The wedding itself was a blur of music and well wishes; the Western styled ceremony was performed by T'Challa himself, which no one had expected. Various white and red Wakandan flowers had been arranged throughout the space set aside for the wedding. Seats were more than just folding chairs and card tables, and it was open to the public as well. The people were respectful of the royal guests, dignitaries and dora milaje standing watch. Most didn't even gawk at their King and these foreign dignitaries in the public space, but looked on them with awe and reverence. T'Challa even made mention of the people in the service, stating that Steve Rogers and Margaret Carter welcomed the gods of multiple faiths and the people of different lands and times to witness their union. If anyone thought it was odd to have bare feet along with fancy dresses or suits, no one said a thing.
Bucky awkwardly approached Natasha during the reception, thrusting a red rose at her. "Here," he said, voice clipped. "For you."
She took it and gave him a smile. "Comfortable with the idea of being awake, then?"
"We're working on the triggers. Getting them out."
"How?" she asked, curious. "Deprogramming is such a tricky thing."
"меньше знаешь," he murmured, shaking his head. "I don't... You wouldn't do anything. I know that. But..."
"It pays to be careful," Natasha acknowledged, a sad edge to her smile.
"Yeah. It does. I can't... I have to be vigilant. I can't be the Winter Soldier. Don't want to be," he corrected. "I have those memories, and I can't stop them from coming."
"You have to own them, and find a way to overcome them," she agreed. "It doesn't necessarily make it hurt less, but the accounting gives purpose. Choice." She held the rose out to him, a warmer edge to her smile. "Help me put it in my hair?"
"The thorns will snag."
Natasha's smile widened. "All the best roses have thorns. I'm not afraid of something sharp."
Bucky blinked at her, as if he was catching an undercurrent to her words. "Oh. If I am?" he asked, gently working the rose into the elaborate braids and curls in her hair.
"Sleep on it. See if it still scares you in the morning."
"Somehow, I don't think it'll be that easy," he replied softly, hands dropping from her side.
"Fear keeps you sharp. But you can't let it rule you, either." She leaned forward and pressed a kiss to his cheek. "If I'm not afraid, maybe you shouldn't be." Stepping back, she flashed him an enigmatic smile. "крепче спишь."
He watched as she went to the Barton children, seated with Helen and Amadeus Cho. Clint and Laura were dancing in the area cleared to be the dance floor, faces alight with happiness. Steve and Peggy had the same look at each other, the same shining delight in sharing the same space again. They'd always only had eyes for each other. He remembered that.
Natasha danced easily with Cooper Barton, surprising Bucky with how easily she smiled at the boy. She took a turn with Amadeus Cho as well, though the two seemed to be discussing something serious rather than simply enjoying the dancing as Cooper had. He was so absorbed watching the others having a good time that he didn't notice T'Challa sliding into place beside him where he stood. He didn't visibly startle when he realized it, but nodded at the sovereign giving him a pointed glance. "You move like a predator," Bucky commented.
"Do you still see yourself as prey or a rabid beast?"
Startled by the bold question, Bucky shook his head. "Not sure how I see myself. Not the Winter Soldier, in any case."
"Then your time here has been well spent. As I'm sure theirs is," T'Challa said, looking toward Steve and Peggy. "There has been grief enough. Pain and vengeance consumes all it touches if you let it. So does regret."
"There's a lot to make up for," Bucky murmured softly. "If I even can."
"If you think you cannot, you never will," T'Challa told him. "There are legacies to live up to, and it is a great shadow to walk behind them." He paused thoughtfully. "History will decide if we are wrong or made poor choices. But if you don't even try, you will never succeed."
"It's not that easy," Bucky sighed.
"Nothing worthwhile ever is." T'Challa gave him a formal nod. "But I am giving you time and a place to heal and discover your true nature, and the path you must take to get there. I am sure that the spirits will guide you."
"How do you know if you do the right thing?" Bucky murmured, looking at the king with a plaintive expression. "Sometimes I don't even trust myself."
T'Challa paused. "You train with some of our fine warriors. Ask them if you are trustworthy."
"Steve and Peg say that I am." He paused. "The dora milaje don't hate me, so I guess they trust me not to do something stupid."
"Do you not trust them in their judgments?"
"Most of the time. Sometimes I'm not sure they're able to be impartial judges."
"Perhaps. They certainly have their sentimentality."
"Exactly."
"It makes them human," T'Challa said, looking over the festivities. "And your doubt and guilt, no matter how painful, also makes you human. You are not the machine others wished you to be. None here would force you into that position. You have not harmed any of the dora milaje, even given opportunity to do so. You have chosen to be the man that Captain Rogers and Agent Carter remember you to be." He turned back to look at Bucky's surprised and uncertain features. "And most importantly, perhaps, I don't feel you are a danger to my country. I would hunt you down if I thought you would be. My people are my first priority, not you, not your feelings, not your friends. But you do not endanger my country or my people, and the fact that you care tells me about the man you had been."
"Thank you," Bucky murmured.
"We are all the sum of our parts, the product of our histories. We cannot forget our history, but we cannot let it rule our future, either."
"Hard to do."
"True. But worth the effort." T'Challa paused. "Dr. Yelba told me you made great strides working with her. You are even beginning to work at the programming, and she is hopeful that it will be successful. She would not lie about your progress."
Bucky blew out a breath. "Hard to think about it sometimes."
"Don't dwell on the past. Remember it, but don't let it rule who you are and what you can become." He clapped a hand on Bucky's shoulder. "And this is a wedding. Smile. Enjoy the time with your friends before their honeymoon."
"I can try."
T'Challa nodded, then moved to a cluster of Wakandan people that looked rather important, even if Bucky didn't recognize them. He did his best to move through the crowds, but was so intent on keeping his head down that he didn't realize Steve had been looking for him.
"Buck, wait up!"
Startled, Bucky looked around. "Where's Peggy? Why isn't she with you?"
"Talking with Lila for a bit. Cute kid, you know? I think it's giving her ideas."
"Jesus Christ," Bucky said in amazement. "Both of you charge ahead without thinking. Your poor kid will run into traffic without thinking twice."
Steve laughed, not offended in the slightest. "All to rescue a kitten, I'm sure," he agreed.
Bucky smiled at him, a little wistfully. "I'm happy for you, Steve. You deserve something nice. Something good."
"I don't do idle very well. Peggy doesn't either. I don't think any of us do, really. The house, the picket fence, the quiet..." He shook his head. "It doesn't feel right. I don't think I could actually settle down and have a quiet life in the suburbs."
"So then what?"
"Eventually, I'll have to go back out into the world. I still believe in what we did. That saving others that can't save themselves is the right thing to do. I won't let a politician tell me who I can or can't rescue. I can't stand aside if someone needs help."
"It's what got us into this mess," Bucky said ruefully, shaking his head.
Steve clapped Bucky on the shoulder, same as he always used to do in the war. "You don't have to come with me and Peggy when it happens," he said earnestly. "I would never ask it of you, you know. There's work enough for you to do."
Suddenly, Bucky felt a fierce stab of pride in his chest. He realized what the others had given up to help him, to live up to their ideals. They sacrificed so much so that he wouldn't be tortured again or used against his will. He hadn't asked them to, but it was their choice, and it was their way of helping him when he hadn't been able to help himself.
He could do the same.
"I told you before," Bucky said slowly. "That punk kid from Brooklyn that could never run from a dumbass fight? I'm following him." He grinned in response to Steve's slow smile. "I'm always walking after you, Steve. Don't you forget it, even if I do."
"I'll make sure you never forget," Steve promised.
"Go and rescue Peggy from scheming little girls and dance."
"How about you?"
Bucky gave him a sly smile. "I might actually have prospects. Choices. It's kind of exciting to see where things go."
Steve grinned at him and pulled him into a tight embrace. "Definitely exciting."
Peggy actually walked up to them both and put her arms around them as well. "I'm joining this love fest, boys." Her voice was strong and fond. "I'm so pleased we've all found each other." She smiled, her eyes suspiciously moist.
They were all sure that this was only the beginning, and they would help each other discover what the future had in store.
The End