Faces That You Meet, 6/8. NC-17
Title: Faces That You Meet
Author: Eustacia Vye
Author's e-mail: eustacia_vye28@hotmail.com
Rating: NC-17
Pairings: Loki/Natasha, Natasha/Winter Soldier, Loki/Natasha/Winter Soldier.
Disclaimer: Not mine! Not even by a little bit.
Spoilers/Warnings: MCU AU. Based off of futurerustfuture-dust's initial dark!blackwinterfrost idea. I didn't use the written material you sent me exactly, but here's hoping you like this one, too. :) Russian words have hovertext translation thanks to Google Translate, so please let me know if I goofed something and I'll fix it. Title, epigraph and chapter titles are all from "The Love Song of J. Alfred Prufrock" by T.S. Eliot.
Summary: A left turn instead of a right, and Loki tumbled down into the frozen tundra of Russia, right outside the Red Room. An honest mistake, but it soon changed everything. And he was never one to share his toys.
Prior chapters:
One - Disturb The Universe
Two - Spread Out Against The Sky
Three - The Corners of the Evening
Four - Descend The Stair
Five - Moment Of My Greatness
Six - Decisions and Revisions
Dressed in standard finery for jarls of the realm, Natasha held a glass of Asgardian mead in her hand and sipped it politely as she pretended to care about the insipid topics of conversation at the latest ball held by Queen Frigga. The layers of cloth draped elegantly over her limbs, hinting at lush curves yet hiding them all. Her hair was curled and styled in an elaborate concoction of cascading waves, jeweled pins with sharpened edges that could be pulled out and used as a stabbing or throwing item, and there were coils of necklaces around her throat and dipping down to draw the eyes to her breasts. Her wrists were covered with golden gauntlets that contained a hidden garrote wire and stabbing knife that would extend if she flicked her wrist with the correct angle and speed. Maeginbiorn, the royal armorsmith, had been utterly delighted to design such a weapon and had produced it within two days instead of his usual two months. It was even carefully inscribed with runes that were hidden by a concealing spell; the runes offered her protection and a measure of anonymity if she wanted it, so that Asgardians wouldn't think she was easy prey or attempt to manipulate her if the mead proved too much for her.
Thoughtful, but unnecessary.
Bucky had been dressed in a tight fitting set of trousers tucked into boots that hid two sets of throwing knives. He had a plain undertunic but an overtunic of finer fabric that had precise embroidery around all of the hems, a leather vest emblazoned with the royal seal over the left pocket, a ceremonial sword at his side with the same seal on its hilt. His hair was a little long, left loose and carefully combed back away from his face. At his wrists were cuffs similar to Natasha's gauntlets, but he had no garrote. His only had blades and no delicately inscribed runes of protection. His were purely functional, indicating that he was meant to be a bodyguard of sorts, that he was fully willing and able to protect a prince of the realm.
Loki dressed in gold, black and green, every inch a royal son of Asgard. Thor was in red and gold, his hair loose and mussed as if he had been tussling with his friends earlier. He probably had been, given that Volstagg seemed to be out of breath when they all arrived. Sif wore her silver breastplate, but out of deference to the occasion had traded in her shorter war skirt for a longer one that fell to her ankles. She had gauntlets of her own, plain silver but thick and meant to catch a blade from slicing off her arms. Her black hair was loose, only the front tied back in twin braids to keep it clear of her eyes. She did have a red outer robe to match her skirt, but it clearly was cut to show off the silver breastplate. Sif had no intention of pandering to society mores any farther than absolutely necessary.
Natasha lifted her glass of mead in silent salute to her, lips curling into a smile at the edges of her mouth. Sif appeared confused, which made Loki nearly laugh out loud. Of course Sif would be confused or suspicious. The two got along at intervals, and were combatants at others. Sif very much took offense to anything that seemed to belittle her.
Feeling the same way himself, Loki couldn't fault her on that count.
Loki ultimately drifted back to Natasha's side, Bucky behind him. That allowed him to rescue her from obvious boredom and once again give a royal stamp of approval to her presence at the ball. It wouldn't silence the jealous whispers that she was an upstart, that obviously she was a nobody and had been nothing more than a karl that bought her way into the jarldom without a care for whose estate she might push out of her way. Given the fact that the whisperer's ancestors had done precisely the same thing, Loki thought it was ludicrous to pay attention to their disgruntled talk. "They're jealous of your beauty and grace, my dear," he told her.
The translation spells he had laid over them soon after their arrival had done their job only too well. Natasha knew exactly what they were saying, so she snorted and rolled her eyes before knocking back the last of the glass in her hand. "I'm sure," she told him dryly.
"There are more interesting aspects to the palace."
"Other than your set of rooms?" Bucky snarked in a low tone slightly behind them.
It was practice that had Loki remain still and appear unaffected. Thor used to irritate him, after all, and this was nothing in comparison.
"I promise, there are far better things to practice your skills on, as pleasurable as those are."
That certainly piqued their interest. "Where are these wonders?" Natasha asked, her husky voice sounding almost like liquid sex. Or perhaps Loki was simply more attuned to it now, and aching to slide his hands between the layers of silk and gossamer that made up her dress. He preferred the touch of her bare skin, the slick of her wetness as he pushed his fingers between her thighs, the feel of her lips on his. Parties such as this were his mother's domain, and held more or less to maintain the status quo of the rigid class system. Loki benefited from it, but he didn't enjoy it and often sought to leave as soon as possible.
"Somehow I think they'll notice if we all leave at the same time, and sorry to say, I haven't memorized the palace yet," Bucky remarked in a low tone.
Because of course he would want to do that. Natasha likely did, too, but would be a little more quiet about it. She wouldn't want to be seen skulking about hallways or having to explain what she was doing.
Which gave Loki an idea.
Grinning, he touched Bucky's arm and sent a frisson of magic into him. It created a copy of his current appearance just in front of him, and cloaked his actual presence. The copy nodded at him in a deferent posture, then weaved its way through the crowds, carefully avoiding the knots of people and heading toward a back hallway that led to the private living quarters of the royal family. "He's done a favor for me, as far as others will be able to tell," he mentioned in a low tone, taking Natasha's hand. He smiled as he lifted her hand to his lips and kissed her knuckles in a gallant gesture. "And you and I will move to the balcony. It will look as though he's my bodyguard and you're my romantic conquest."
"I'm no conquest."
"Society won't know that," Loki replied, lowering her hand. "And we can't have them guessing the true purpose of you being here."
"Which is?" Bucky prompted.
"We're going to have you learn the palace. You have ears, you know what kinds of things to listen for in order to keep my family safe." Loki's eyes flashed, a sharp edge to his grin. "You were right, I want the advisor's role. I don't want the actual rule. That means making sure my brother remains on the throne, and he's got a terribly impatient streak."
"And you don't?" Natasha teased, smiling back in a flirtatious manner.
Loki laughed, genuinely amused, and it drew the attention of some society jarls. The ladies frowned, not liking his interest in this apparent upstart into their ranks. But they couldn't openly snub her for fear of drawing his displeasure, which just amused Loki all the more. He despised the courtly games even as he was adept at playing it. Those fools were no challenge for him, and there was no joy in winning a game they didn't even realize they were playing.
"For the right incentive, I can be incredibly patient."
The trio went to the balcony. From there, Loki cloaked them both in an invisibility spell, just as he had with Bucky. They slipped through the crowd, hand in hand in hand, silently moving until they reached the hallway that Bucky's image had gone through earlier. The three were elated, adrenaline rushing from the possibility of a jarl crashing into them at the last moment and revealing their location.
Dropping the invisibility, Loki wove a new illusion into place, making them appear like three new servants in the palace. "There are back hallways, passages and the hypocaust to explore, my darlings," he said with a smile. "I memorized quite a few of them as a boy so I could play my tricks on Thor and his friends. They still haven't figured out how I was able to surprise them so many times."
"Don't they know that those things exist?" Bucky asked with a frown.
"Of course. But they would never consider actually using them."
"Amateurs," Natasha replied scornfully.
"Exactly," Loki replied with a grin. "Let's have the professionals show me how it's done."
They began going through back hallways of the palace and then down into the hypocaust. Loki was amused to see their attention sharp and in control, memorizing the corridors and any landmarks to guide their way. He pointed out the ones he had always used, and he could almost see them taking note of it.
A servant with a large basket of freshly washed linens turned a corner from the laundry areas, possibly heading toward the ballrooms. She stopped at the sight of the three of them, frowning a little. "You aren't in this section. What area do you normally work?"
"Kitchens," Loki lied. He at least knew where those were from.
"No, you're not," the servant insisted, voice hard. "Wrong uniform," she told them when Bucky and Natasha flashed her a confused look. "Who are you and what do you want here?"
"You think you can stop us?" Loki asked, tilting his head to the side and observing her.
The laundry maid seemed to realize she was in a precarious position, but lifted her chin in a defiant way. "If I must, I must," she replied.
Loki laughed and let the illusion fade in a golden glittery shower. The maid goggled at them, but held herself very still. "Luckily for you, little one," he told her, "I do indeed belong here."
"M-milord," the maid stammered, not sure what to say.
"I'm not angry," he told her, voice actually gentle. "You did what you should have done, for if we were assassins bent on harming my family..."
She nodded and swallowed. "It would be horrible."
"You were ready to lay your life down for the royal family," Bucky murmured.
The maid swung her eyes toward him. Though she was clearly outmatched by the three of them, she nodded. "'Tis my duty. Not all would do it, not at that cost, and they say things they really shouldn't-" She gulped and clamped her mouth shut.
"No, no, that was just getting interesting," Loki said, coming forward.
Seeing the maid twitch and look afraid, Natasha smoothly came forward and touched her arm just as Loki got to her side. "What's your name?" she asked quietly.
"Eira," she replied, eyes wide as if she was trying to figure out which one would attack first.
"He's being an intimidating prince right now, isn't he?" Natasha asked in a soothing voice, patting her arm. "But you know how men can be, right? All gruff on the outside to hide the thought that they might be in danger."
"No, never! Not from me!" Eira cried, nearly dropping the basket and looking at them all in horror. "I'm loyal and have worked since I was three-"
"Not from you," Natasha said soothingly, rubbing her arm gently. She slid her arm through Eira's and leaned in close. "But you being here proves there are vulnerabilities in the palace."
"But-"
"Because you're the first person we've seen all night," Natasha continued. She looked from Eira's frightened fact to Loki and then flicked her gaze toward Bucky. Loki took the hint and backed up toward the other assassin. "We were just bored with the party. Too many people saying silly things to try to impress a prince."
Eira tittered a little, then tried to stop herself, shooting another frightened look at Loki. "Um."
"There should be people about, right? Cleaning, cooking, laundering," Natasha continued smoothly, nodding toward the basket. "Napkins. For the party?" She waited for Eira's nod. "So where are the others? You can't be the only one doing such a task."
"There are other hallways. I was taking a shortcut..."
Natasha brightened. "Ah. Perhaps you can show us? Because I'm sure Prince Loki would feel less at risk if he realized that there are people loyal to him, and they didn't just abandon the palace for the evening."
"Oh!" Eira cried, looking at them all in wide eyes. "Did you think that, my prince?" she asked, startled. "No, never, all of us in the palace, all of us are loyal to the family. I'm fifth generation laundress, my prince. We would never harm any of you!"
Loki was impressed with how deftly Natasha had stepped in and eased the girl's worries. He stepped forward with a magnanimous smile. "I do believe you. I'm sorry if I frightened you. It certainly wasn't my intention," he said, touching her shoulder. The poor girl looked star struck, and he nodded at her. "I suppose my knowledge of palace uniforms is a bit faulty."
"You shouldn't know the uniforms, milord," Eira contradicted, then bit her lip uncertainly. She likely wondered if he would be angry that she spoke out of turn, but he found that more amusing than anything else.
"Perhaps you should guide us," Bucky added. "Natasha and I, we plan on protecting the princes, and we're new to the palace."
She brightened a bit at the honor bestowed her. "Certainly. What would you like to know?"
An idea was forming in the back of Loki's mind. "Tell us everything about the people of the palace, Eira." He eased the girl's arm off of Natasha's and placed it on his own. "Perhaps you can come to serve my quarters personally, so that you can help my friends in this endeavor."
It was quite the elevation in her status within the palace. Eira was only too eager to comply.
***
It took a few more weeks for Loki to maneuver Thor away from one of his many battle practices to meet with him. "You haven't sought to spend time with my compatriots," Loki accused, "yet you always had me with you and the Warriors Three."
"Are they not your friends as well?" Thor asked, frowning.
"They were your friends first," Loki pointed out. "Occupied in solitary study of the magical arts, I had little time to make friends of my own."
"Until now. And they are quite accomplished, from what the Einherjar tell me."
Of course they were. Both Natasha and Bucky trained at various times in the practice halls, and not only kept pace with the Einherjar training at the time, but bested them. They also spent enough time with Eira to learn the servants' passages and quarters, the differences in palace uniforms, the sentries' entrances and uniforms, as well as the couriers to the outer halls and the lands outside the immediate palace. The servants all had whispers about the jarls and royals as well; most were incredibly loyal to the royals and praised them to the skies, but many of the jarls were thoughtless and rude. They all spoke as if the karls didn't exist at all.
Useful for the two spies to know, and they fully took advantage.
Loki smiled widely. "I am very much aware of their skill set." He nodded at Natasha and Bucky, a warmth in his eyes that even Thor couldn't miss.
"You're quite attached to them."
"They are very observant, clever and knowledgeable. I trust them implicitly."
"Do you?" Thor asked, surprised. "Normally, you are one to keep thoughts to yourself, the better to make mischief."
"Is that all you see me good for?" Loki asked, an edge to his voice.
Thor sighed and shook his head. "Of course not, brother. But you see to the heart of people more readily than I do, and often you have made jibes at our expense."
"I'm hardly the only one able to see others." He nodded at Natasha. "I quite value her wisdom."
"You do?" Thor asked in disbelief. "I know the female sex does not mean you are necessarily fragile," he said to her. "But what do you know of the inner hearts of others?"
"I can tell you about yourself, if you like," she replied coolly.
"You hardly know me," he scoffed.
Natasha looked at Thor critically. "Honest assessment?" she asked, though her tone indicated that she was sure he didn't actually want it. When he nodded, she shrugged. "You're proud. Of your birthright, your heritage, your prowess on the battlefield, your knowledge of tactics. But it also means you're more willing to discard advice you don't agree with. You don't take others' thoughts into consideration. That pride is going to lead to problems. You're going to make a mess of things at some point, unless you tone it down a notch and stop thinking of everything as a battle to be won. Sometimes a strategic retreat is in order."
Thor looked at her, disgruntled, not liking what he was hearing. That look only deepened when he saw Loki's open grin. "You find this amusing!"
"Of course I do. She hasn't known you as long as I have, and independently reached the same conclusion. You see why I like her."
He glowered at Natasha, however, who looked back at him, unperturbed. "What makes you say such things? You know not what I'm capable of."
The arch look she gave him had Loki howling with laughter. Thor shot his unhappy look at Loki, who only laughed louder. It was enough to draw Bucky into the conversation, when he was happy enough to ignore them and keep his focus on how the levitating toys worked.
"My people love me," Thor told Natasha. "It will be peaceful when I rule Asgard, and I will protect all of the Nine Realms with ease."
She crossed her arms over her chest, unimpressed. "And your people here on Asgard. Do you know what they want? What they need?"
"Safety, of course. None of the evil Jotnar will think to cross out of their realm-"
"No," she interrupted, shaking her head. "Meaning infrastructure. Food. Utilities. Jobs. Being able to afford things at the market."
Thor frowned at her. "The people have what they need."
"But do you know what that is?" she asked pointedly.
He stared at her, flabbergasted. "I don't need to know such things!"
"Yes, you do. The title of the kingship here is Allfather. That's rather telling, isn't it?"
Bucky chuckled and shook his head at Thor's bewilderment. "If you don't know how something works, you can't make it better. You can't fix something you don't understand."
"It's not in need of repair!"
"Not now. But you don't know how it runs." He lifted the toy in his hands. "You know how to make this work if I break it?"
"I don't need to. I simply need to go to get it repaired."
"And if they don't got the tools," Bucky continued, "how's that gonna happen?"
Loki snickered at Thor's expression and then took pity on his brother. "Thor, do you see why it's helpful to have another opinion? Do you see why I keep them with me?"
"I suppose," Thor said uncertainly, not quite seeing Loki's point.
"You need to know how your people live," Natasha declared. "Walk around. Not as the prince, because no one will ever treat you like an ordinary man."
"We're novelties, so we'd stand out, too," Bucky told Loki.
"What do you propose?" Thor asked, still uncertain of Natasha's words.
"Time to explore your kingdom as if you're an ordinary man," Natasha said. She looked over at Loki. "All we need are some new faces, and you'll see what it's really like."
Loki grinned. "Oh, this shall be the most delightful trick..."
"Brother," Thor warned.
"I won't make you hideous, I promise. But changed enough that no one would see the crown prince Thor. No one would guess at your true identity."
The seidr masked all of their appearances. Loki was blond, with curly hair and vividly bright blue eyes, a bulkier frame and clothing that resembled that of a village grocer. Thor still had his blond hair, but his eyes were green now, and he also was wearing common clothes. Natasha and Bucky had their appearances changed to be that of villagers, with blond hair and blue eyes as well. They escaped the palace in this way and wandered out of the center of Asgard to the outskirts, where farms, manors and large fields for crops and livestock were kept. There was a class system on this realm, and the social rankings were rigidly adhered to. The royal family had the most power, then came the jarls. Their noble houses had varying ranks based on their service to the throne and realm, as well as the funds in the house coffers. High jarls tended to be advisors and hangers on at court. Lower jarls were the craftsmen and scholars. Karls were ordinary folk, though skilled karls could sometimes purchase their way into jarl ranks. Most karls were lesser craftsmen, tradesmen, laborers and service workers. Officially, there were no slaves or lesser men, but the few criminals on Asgard held no rank at all.
The four were dressed in the manner of the lowest karls. Thor obviously thought it was an insult to his dignity, to have his rank reversed so severely. With but a few coins in his pockets, they couldn't get much more than cheap ale, bread and a hunk of cheese, both of middling quality at the first inn they stopped at. Thor fought grimaces as he ate, though Natasha and Bucky ate as though it was fine dining. Loki didn't eat at all.
"Come, brother," Thor said, nudging his arm. "Don't care for the repast our host offers?"
"Someone must think to the future. Or did you expect unlimited coin for further meals and a roof over your head?" Loki asked tartly.
That startled Thor, and he stopped eating. "What? How long do you intend this farce to go?"
"As long as you need it to."
Natasha looked up from the trencher she shared with Bucky, having not paid extra for her own plate. "Might as well eat up. You never know when your next meal is coming."
"You sound as though you've known great hunger."
"We have," she replied simply, and finished off her cheese.
"Humans can go a few days without food without noticing too many effects," Bucky told Thor in an offhand manner. "Go without water, well, that's a harder thing to do. Without a place to stay, the first thing to do is establish shelter, source of water and warmth. Then worry about food and the job at hand."
Thor frowned at him. "What manner of man are you?"
Bucky gave him a level look and spoke with flat tones. "One that's good at what I do. People don't see me coming if I don't want them to. I get the job done."
When Thor looked at Natasha, she offered him a bland smile. "Who do you want me to be?"
"I don't understand," Thor murmured.
"In my travels," Loki began, folding his hands together on the table, "I discovered a location where children were trained most brutally to become efficient at killing, maiming and extracting secrets in whatever manner requested. They now belong to me."
"You would not be so cruel to children," Thor replied, shaking his head. "I don't believe it."
"I've changed the nature of the facility. The children are no longer tortured, but they still have their lessons, and I mean for them to use them."
"To what end?"
"Imagine, Thor. A network of spies across the realm, to confirm that tales we are told are true. To give us information on our enemies, to be able to leverage realms to our benefit."
Thor leaned back in his chair, mouth open in surprise. "Father doesn't even have such a thing."
"No, he doesn't. He has Hungin and Mungin," Loki agreed. "But they don't like you, and you are too impetuous to earn their trust."
Thor's eyes flashed, but he remained silent. It was true, after all.
"You keep pushing to obtain Father's throne," Loki continued in a low voice. "But do you really contemplate what it means? Can you live this way, among the people? Can you understand what their needs are? Anticipate them? Care for them all like children?"
Now he understood Natasha's question. "Allfather."
Loki nodded. "I haven't the temperament. I don't want the throne, brother. But you do. And this is what it will mean. Protecting every base life that depends on you for strength. Keeping food like this on the table. You may say it's not fit for your lips, and that's certainly true at the palace, but here? This is a fine delicacy for some."
Uneasily, Thor swallowed and looked about the tavern. "These are my people, you mean."
"Yes. Not just the Einherjar or warriors or jarls at the balls hosted that Mother makes us attend," Loki said quietly. "These are the ones that cannot help themselves."
"And what makes you so wise to their ways?" Thor asked curiously.
"I haven't lived as such here," Loki said, taking his brother's mug for a sip of the ale, "but I have seen it. Here and on Midgard. I've sampled a somewhat better lifestyle than this, found it wanting and very much lacking."
That seemed to give Thor pause for a moment. The others couldn't tell if he was humbled by that or not. "I'm not certain I like this life," Thor said finally.
"You're not meant to," Natasha told him.
"It's not your place," Bucky added. "It's theirs. But you have to make sure they still have a place and it doesn't all go up in smoke. War isn't glorious. War is brutal and bloody and hard, full of death and destruction and waste. People die. They're not just numbers on a page, not just a serial number to recite." His jaw clenched, anger flooding him. "You don't get to throw away lives because they're just numbers on a page, not even real people."
Natasha leaned in close, her hand on his thigh. "You're remembering something?"
"Yeah." His jaw clenched, he swallowed and looked away. "What they did to me when I was captured. What made me survive the fall. I remember."
Thor looked at him curiously, and nearly asked what Bucky was talking about. Loki met his gaze and shook his head sharply, and Thor lapsed into silence. "This can't be all of my kingdom," Thor said after a moment.
"Let's go see the fields, then," Natasha said quietly. "See how they grow the food that comes to the table, why there isn't enough left when it gets to the inns." Thor was obviously surprised at that, and Natasha rolled her eyes. "You don't listen to the talk around us? Or to what the servants say in the palace?"
"Why would I?" Thor asked, brows furrowed in confusion.
Natasha sighed as Bucky shook his head. Loki had to refrain from laughing at the sight of her aggrieved expression. "It's a wonder you think you can function as Allfather at all," she replied sternly. "No wonder Loki wanted us with him. We'll really have to whip you into shape if you're going to rule. This is unacceptable."
Affronted, Thor nearly shot to his feet in anger. Loki grasped his wrist and hissed "Don't make a scene!" at him, which made him recall that they were all under glamour. He dropped back into his seat and drank the rest of his ale, though he pulled a face and obviously didn't enjoy it.
"Don't presume to tell me how to run my kingdom when you've never been here before."
"We've been taught political theory, economics and such topics since early childhood," Natasha replied in a bored tone. "It was so we could recognize useful information when it was in front of us, and you're missing very obvious cues your own people are telling you."
"Listen to the spy, Thor," Loki told him, a slight smirk to his lips. "If you won't listen to my counsel, listen to the one who had accomplished much on her realm."
"She's a spy," Thor repeated. He turned to Bucky. "And you?"
"Assassin," he said without inflection. "Somebody has to do the dirty work."
Blowing out a slow breath, Thor looked at Loki in concern. "Brother, we must talk."
"Exactly why we're here," Loki replied, openly smirking now.
"Alone."
"What you say to me, you can say in front of them. They're mine."
Thor looked displeased by this, his lips flattening into a thin line. "This is not right. I shouldn't be tutored by tiny humans that don't understand the dynamics of Asgard. That throne is mine by right and intention. I am a fine warrior, and will make the people proud."
"Hungry people curse the names of whoever's in charge," Bucky pointed out. "Just saying."
Unhappy, Thor merely glared at him. "You have no right to speak to me this way."
"I give him that right. And you said you wanted to hear what they had to say. So you must listen to their counsel as if I had given it, and you must think for once in your life, not just react to it. They're not saying you're a boor and unfit to rule. They're telling you how you can become even better!"
"I am done with this game," Thor said, glaring at Loki. "I will go home and be done with it."
The other three exchanged a look, then Loki stood. "Then we shall return. But think on our discussion today. You know I'm right."
"I have nothing but the best intentions for the people of Asgard," Thor hissed.
"As do I," Loki replied, unperturbed. "Our home is grand and glorious. Our job is to ensure that it always stays that way, no matter the means to do so."
The four were silent on their way back to the palace.
***
"You think he knows we're together?" Bucky asked later that night in bed.
The three of them were snuggled together, Loki in the center. He snorted and continued running his fingers through Natasha's hair. "Of course not. He hasn't got enough imagination for that. I think it took him by surprise that he knows little of Asgard outside the palace or training with the Einherjar. He doesn't like feeling a fool."
"No one does," Bucky chuckled.
"Feeling better?" Loki asked, turning his head to look at Bucky. They had attacked each other with savage desire as soon as he had locked down the suite, roughly fucking until sated and exhausted, sweat cooling on their bodies.
"Kinda more settled," he replied, then tucked his head onto Loki's chest. He breathed slowly and deeply, but seemed less tense than before. Natasha reached over Loki's stomach and grasped his hand tightly. Bucky tilted so he could smile at her, and relaxed further against Loki.
"The memories coming back and not knowing what our place is to be," she guessed. She brought his hand to her lips and kissed his knuckles gently. "Not knowing what the future is going to be."
"You make me sound like I'm trying to be a good guy," Bucky sighed.
"Aren't you?" Loki asked in surprise.
Bucky sighed and closed his eyes, a shiver rolling through him that Loki could feel. "I guess I was. Sort of. But I wasn't the best. Not that pure or good."
"Bucky..." Natasha began, sounding a little uncertain.
"He called me that," Bucky said abruptly. "The first to call me Bucky. He couldn't say Buchanan right when we were kids. I remember that. And the other kids, they already teased him so bad because he was little and sick with asthma, I told him Bucky was fine. Steve was the good one, getting into every fight in Brooklyn because he couldn't stand bullies. And look at what they made me into. Look at what they made me do."
Natasha shifted to perch her weight on an elbow, looking at him intently. "And look at what you do. You, not the Asset, separate from the Winter Soldier. Look at what you choose to do. Look at how you help us, when you are able to choose for yourself."
"He was a good man." Bucky's voice broke and he shuddered a little, though tears wouldn't come to his eyes. "Steve had to watch me die, and I can't even imagine how he felt. How he had to carry on, how he felt when he died. He died a fuckin' hero. I just fell."
"And you've climbed back out of the hell you were put into," Natasha told him.
"You are not cruel," Loki pointed out. "Neutral at worst, but not evil. Not brutal, not malicious, not delighting in others' pain."
"Of course you say that," Bucky began, though now the uncertain tone was in his voice.
"Because I am the epitome of kindness and sunshine," Loki drawled, rolling his eyes. "Please. I'm not so besotted that I think you do no wrong. I'm not deluded into thinking that you're an innocent. You've done things you're not proud of. Sometimes you have to in order to survive. Rather than think of it as a failing, embrace it. You're a survivor. Why is that a terrible thing to be? Your past happened. It's not that your present is a lie, but that you have changed over time in response to what went on."
"That's... Amazingly logical," Bucky said after a moment. He shifted to lie on his stomach, his chin digging into Loki's chest a bit. "Like you believe it."
Loki rolled his eyes again. "They had to erase you to make you into what they could use. Why in all of the nine realms would you believe it was what you used to be?"
"Well, it was easy."
"Killing is easy," Natasha murmured without apology. "Making them suffer is an art."
"It's an art you were well trained in. Don't shy away from it," Loki advised them. "You have skills that few others do. Use them. Find a place to belong to."
"Like to you," Bucky guessed, the corner of his lips curling into a smile.
"The thought occurred to me, of course," Loki replied in a mockingly haughty tone. He laughed when Natasha giggled. "I brought you with me for a reason, you know. Not simply because of how pathetic your realm is. Because I like you both, and I think you're useful, and I think you both are excellent company."
"We like you, too," Natasha replied, smiling at him. She giggled again at his exasperated look and pressed her lips to his chest in a kiss. "You wouldn't openly claim us if you didn't. You wouldn't stand up to your brother on our behalf if we didn't mean something."
"You're mine and you're in my home."
"And I think I understand enough about the culture to realize what that means," Natasha said quietly. "We're your family and you're ours. We can dress it up in fancy words and clauses and deeds like they do here on Asgard, but it works as it is. I don't need the words."
"I don't either," Bucky replied, lifting his head enough to stare at Loki.
"It doesn't trouble you?" Loki asked archly.
"Back before the war... I loved Steve. Not like this," he said, waving a free hand over their entangled bodies. "But in the sense that I never would've left him alone. He didn't have to be if he didn't want to be. I would've done anything for him. When we worked together before I died the first time, I killed for him, hid it if I could so he wouldn't look at me different. I loved him, and he was good. I had to live up to that. This is the same. Kind of. In the sense that I gotta do the right thing, gotta make sure we're safe. That's love, isn't it?"
Loki tightened an arm around each of them and smiled. "The best kind."
***
***
Author: Eustacia Vye
Author's e-mail: eustacia_vye28@hotmail.com
Rating: NC-17
Pairings: Loki/Natasha, Natasha/Winter Soldier, Loki/Natasha/Winter Soldier.
Disclaimer: Not mine! Not even by a little bit.
Spoilers/Warnings: MCU AU. Based off of futurerustfuture-dust's initial dark!blackwinterfrost idea. I didn't use the written material you sent me exactly, but here's hoping you like this one, too. :) Russian words have hovertext translation thanks to Google Translate, so please let me know if I goofed something and I'll fix it. Title, epigraph and chapter titles are all from "The Love Song of J. Alfred Prufrock" by T.S. Eliot.
Summary: A left turn instead of a right, and Loki tumbled down into the frozen tundra of Russia, right outside the Red Room. An honest mistake, but it soon changed everything. And he was never one to share his toys.
Prior chapters:
One - Disturb The Universe
Two - Spread Out Against The Sky
Three - The Corners of the Evening
Four - Descend The Stair
Five - Moment Of My Greatness
Six - Decisions and Revisions
Dressed in standard finery for jarls of the realm, Natasha held a glass of Asgardian mead in her hand and sipped it politely as she pretended to care about the insipid topics of conversation at the latest ball held by Queen Frigga. The layers of cloth draped elegantly over her limbs, hinting at lush curves yet hiding them all. Her hair was curled and styled in an elaborate concoction of cascading waves, jeweled pins with sharpened edges that could be pulled out and used as a stabbing or throwing item, and there were coils of necklaces around her throat and dipping down to draw the eyes to her breasts. Her wrists were covered with golden gauntlets that contained a hidden garrote wire and stabbing knife that would extend if she flicked her wrist with the correct angle and speed. Maeginbiorn, the royal armorsmith, had been utterly delighted to design such a weapon and had produced it within two days instead of his usual two months. It was even carefully inscribed with runes that were hidden by a concealing spell; the runes offered her protection and a measure of anonymity if she wanted it, so that Asgardians wouldn't think she was easy prey or attempt to manipulate her if the mead proved too much for her.
Thoughtful, but unnecessary.
Bucky had been dressed in a tight fitting set of trousers tucked into boots that hid two sets of throwing knives. He had a plain undertunic but an overtunic of finer fabric that had precise embroidery around all of the hems, a leather vest emblazoned with the royal seal over the left pocket, a ceremonial sword at his side with the same seal on its hilt. His hair was a little long, left loose and carefully combed back away from his face. At his wrists were cuffs similar to Natasha's gauntlets, but he had no garrote. His only had blades and no delicately inscribed runes of protection. His were purely functional, indicating that he was meant to be a bodyguard of sorts, that he was fully willing and able to protect a prince of the realm.
Loki dressed in gold, black and green, every inch a royal son of Asgard. Thor was in red and gold, his hair loose and mussed as if he had been tussling with his friends earlier. He probably had been, given that Volstagg seemed to be out of breath when they all arrived. Sif wore her silver breastplate, but out of deference to the occasion had traded in her shorter war skirt for a longer one that fell to her ankles. She had gauntlets of her own, plain silver but thick and meant to catch a blade from slicing off her arms. Her black hair was loose, only the front tied back in twin braids to keep it clear of her eyes. She did have a red outer robe to match her skirt, but it clearly was cut to show off the silver breastplate. Sif had no intention of pandering to society mores any farther than absolutely necessary.
Natasha lifted her glass of mead in silent salute to her, lips curling into a smile at the edges of her mouth. Sif appeared confused, which made Loki nearly laugh out loud. Of course Sif would be confused or suspicious. The two got along at intervals, and were combatants at others. Sif very much took offense to anything that seemed to belittle her.
Feeling the same way himself, Loki couldn't fault her on that count.
Loki ultimately drifted back to Natasha's side, Bucky behind him. That allowed him to rescue her from obvious boredom and once again give a royal stamp of approval to her presence at the ball. It wouldn't silence the jealous whispers that she was an upstart, that obviously she was a nobody and had been nothing more than a karl that bought her way into the jarldom without a care for whose estate she might push out of her way. Given the fact that the whisperer's ancestors had done precisely the same thing, Loki thought it was ludicrous to pay attention to their disgruntled talk. "They're jealous of your beauty and grace, my dear," he told her.
The translation spells he had laid over them soon after their arrival had done their job only too well. Natasha knew exactly what they were saying, so she snorted and rolled her eyes before knocking back the last of the glass in her hand. "I'm sure," she told him dryly.
"There are more interesting aspects to the palace."
"Other than your set of rooms?" Bucky snarked in a low tone slightly behind them.
It was practice that had Loki remain still and appear unaffected. Thor used to irritate him, after all, and this was nothing in comparison.
"I promise, there are far better things to practice your skills on, as pleasurable as those are."
That certainly piqued their interest. "Where are these wonders?" Natasha asked, her husky voice sounding almost like liquid sex. Or perhaps Loki was simply more attuned to it now, and aching to slide his hands between the layers of silk and gossamer that made up her dress. He preferred the touch of her bare skin, the slick of her wetness as he pushed his fingers between her thighs, the feel of her lips on his. Parties such as this were his mother's domain, and held more or less to maintain the status quo of the rigid class system. Loki benefited from it, but he didn't enjoy it and often sought to leave as soon as possible.
"Somehow I think they'll notice if we all leave at the same time, and sorry to say, I haven't memorized the palace yet," Bucky remarked in a low tone.
Because of course he would want to do that. Natasha likely did, too, but would be a little more quiet about it. She wouldn't want to be seen skulking about hallways or having to explain what she was doing.
Which gave Loki an idea.
Grinning, he touched Bucky's arm and sent a frisson of magic into him. It created a copy of his current appearance just in front of him, and cloaked his actual presence. The copy nodded at him in a deferent posture, then weaved its way through the crowds, carefully avoiding the knots of people and heading toward a back hallway that led to the private living quarters of the royal family. "He's done a favor for me, as far as others will be able to tell," he mentioned in a low tone, taking Natasha's hand. He smiled as he lifted her hand to his lips and kissed her knuckles in a gallant gesture. "And you and I will move to the balcony. It will look as though he's my bodyguard and you're my romantic conquest."
"I'm no conquest."
"Society won't know that," Loki replied, lowering her hand. "And we can't have them guessing the true purpose of you being here."
"Which is?" Bucky prompted.
"We're going to have you learn the palace. You have ears, you know what kinds of things to listen for in order to keep my family safe." Loki's eyes flashed, a sharp edge to his grin. "You were right, I want the advisor's role. I don't want the actual rule. That means making sure my brother remains on the throne, and he's got a terribly impatient streak."
"And you don't?" Natasha teased, smiling back in a flirtatious manner.
Loki laughed, genuinely amused, and it drew the attention of some society jarls. The ladies frowned, not liking his interest in this apparent upstart into their ranks. But they couldn't openly snub her for fear of drawing his displeasure, which just amused Loki all the more. He despised the courtly games even as he was adept at playing it. Those fools were no challenge for him, and there was no joy in winning a game they didn't even realize they were playing.
"For the right incentive, I can be incredibly patient."
The trio went to the balcony. From there, Loki cloaked them both in an invisibility spell, just as he had with Bucky. They slipped through the crowd, hand in hand in hand, silently moving until they reached the hallway that Bucky's image had gone through earlier. The three were elated, adrenaline rushing from the possibility of a jarl crashing into them at the last moment and revealing their location.
Dropping the invisibility, Loki wove a new illusion into place, making them appear like three new servants in the palace. "There are back hallways, passages and the hypocaust to explore, my darlings," he said with a smile. "I memorized quite a few of them as a boy so I could play my tricks on Thor and his friends. They still haven't figured out how I was able to surprise them so many times."
"Don't they know that those things exist?" Bucky asked with a frown.
"Of course. But they would never consider actually using them."
"Amateurs," Natasha replied scornfully.
"Exactly," Loki replied with a grin. "Let's have the professionals show me how it's done."
They began going through back hallways of the palace and then down into the hypocaust. Loki was amused to see their attention sharp and in control, memorizing the corridors and any landmarks to guide their way. He pointed out the ones he had always used, and he could almost see them taking note of it.
A servant with a large basket of freshly washed linens turned a corner from the laundry areas, possibly heading toward the ballrooms. She stopped at the sight of the three of them, frowning a little. "You aren't in this section. What area do you normally work?"
"Kitchens," Loki lied. He at least knew where those were from.
"No, you're not," the servant insisted, voice hard. "Wrong uniform," she told them when Bucky and Natasha flashed her a confused look. "Who are you and what do you want here?"
"You think you can stop us?" Loki asked, tilting his head to the side and observing her.
The laundry maid seemed to realize she was in a precarious position, but lifted her chin in a defiant way. "If I must, I must," she replied.
Loki laughed and let the illusion fade in a golden glittery shower. The maid goggled at them, but held herself very still. "Luckily for you, little one," he told her, "I do indeed belong here."
"M-milord," the maid stammered, not sure what to say.
"I'm not angry," he told her, voice actually gentle. "You did what you should have done, for if we were assassins bent on harming my family..."
She nodded and swallowed. "It would be horrible."
"You were ready to lay your life down for the royal family," Bucky murmured.
The maid swung her eyes toward him. Though she was clearly outmatched by the three of them, she nodded. "'Tis my duty. Not all would do it, not at that cost, and they say things they really shouldn't-" She gulped and clamped her mouth shut.
"No, no, that was just getting interesting," Loki said, coming forward.
Seeing the maid twitch and look afraid, Natasha smoothly came forward and touched her arm just as Loki got to her side. "What's your name?" she asked quietly.
"Eira," she replied, eyes wide as if she was trying to figure out which one would attack first.
"He's being an intimidating prince right now, isn't he?" Natasha asked in a soothing voice, patting her arm. "But you know how men can be, right? All gruff on the outside to hide the thought that they might be in danger."
"No, never! Not from me!" Eira cried, nearly dropping the basket and looking at them all in horror. "I'm loyal and have worked since I was three-"
"Not from you," Natasha said soothingly, rubbing her arm gently. She slid her arm through Eira's and leaned in close. "But you being here proves there are vulnerabilities in the palace."
"But-"
"Because you're the first person we've seen all night," Natasha continued. She looked from Eira's frightened fact to Loki and then flicked her gaze toward Bucky. Loki took the hint and backed up toward the other assassin. "We were just bored with the party. Too many people saying silly things to try to impress a prince."
Eira tittered a little, then tried to stop herself, shooting another frightened look at Loki. "Um."
"There should be people about, right? Cleaning, cooking, laundering," Natasha continued smoothly, nodding toward the basket. "Napkins. For the party?" She waited for Eira's nod. "So where are the others? You can't be the only one doing such a task."
"There are other hallways. I was taking a shortcut..."
Natasha brightened. "Ah. Perhaps you can show us? Because I'm sure Prince Loki would feel less at risk if he realized that there are people loyal to him, and they didn't just abandon the palace for the evening."
"Oh!" Eira cried, looking at them all in wide eyes. "Did you think that, my prince?" she asked, startled. "No, never, all of us in the palace, all of us are loyal to the family. I'm fifth generation laundress, my prince. We would never harm any of you!"
Loki was impressed with how deftly Natasha had stepped in and eased the girl's worries. He stepped forward with a magnanimous smile. "I do believe you. I'm sorry if I frightened you. It certainly wasn't my intention," he said, touching her shoulder. The poor girl looked star struck, and he nodded at her. "I suppose my knowledge of palace uniforms is a bit faulty."
"You shouldn't know the uniforms, milord," Eira contradicted, then bit her lip uncertainly. She likely wondered if he would be angry that she spoke out of turn, but he found that more amusing than anything else.
"Perhaps you should guide us," Bucky added. "Natasha and I, we plan on protecting the princes, and we're new to the palace."
She brightened a bit at the honor bestowed her. "Certainly. What would you like to know?"
An idea was forming in the back of Loki's mind. "Tell us everything about the people of the palace, Eira." He eased the girl's arm off of Natasha's and placed it on his own. "Perhaps you can come to serve my quarters personally, so that you can help my friends in this endeavor."
It was quite the elevation in her status within the palace. Eira was only too eager to comply.
***
It took a few more weeks for Loki to maneuver Thor away from one of his many battle practices to meet with him. "You haven't sought to spend time with my compatriots," Loki accused, "yet you always had me with you and the Warriors Three."
"Are they not your friends as well?" Thor asked, frowning.
"They were your friends first," Loki pointed out. "Occupied in solitary study of the magical arts, I had little time to make friends of my own."
"Until now. And they are quite accomplished, from what the Einherjar tell me."
Of course they were. Both Natasha and Bucky trained at various times in the practice halls, and not only kept pace with the Einherjar training at the time, but bested them. They also spent enough time with Eira to learn the servants' passages and quarters, the differences in palace uniforms, the sentries' entrances and uniforms, as well as the couriers to the outer halls and the lands outside the immediate palace. The servants all had whispers about the jarls and royals as well; most were incredibly loyal to the royals and praised them to the skies, but many of the jarls were thoughtless and rude. They all spoke as if the karls didn't exist at all.
Useful for the two spies to know, and they fully took advantage.
Loki smiled widely. "I am very much aware of their skill set." He nodded at Natasha and Bucky, a warmth in his eyes that even Thor couldn't miss.
"You're quite attached to them."
"They are very observant, clever and knowledgeable. I trust them implicitly."
"Do you?" Thor asked, surprised. "Normally, you are one to keep thoughts to yourself, the better to make mischief."
"Is that all you see me good for?" Loki asked, an edge to his voice.
Thor sighed and shook his head. "Of course not, brother. But you see to the heart of people more readily than I do, and often you have made jibes at our expense."
"I'm hardly the only one able to see others." He nodded at Natasha. "I quite value her wisdom."
"You do?" Thor asked in disbelief. "I know the female sex does not mean you are necessarily fragile," he said to her. "But what do you know of the inner hearts of others?"
"I can tell you about yourself, if you like," she replied coolly.
"You hardly know me," he scoffed.
Natasha looked at Thor critically. "Honest assessment?" she asked, though her tone indicated that she was sure he didn't actually want it. When he nodded, she shrugged. "You're proud. Of your birthright, your heritage, your prowess on the battlefield, your knowledge of tactics. But it also means you're more willing to discard advice you don't agree with. You don't take others' thoughts into consideration. That pride is going to lead to problems. You're going to make a mess of things at some point, unless you tone it down a notch and stop thinking of everything as a battle to be won. Sometimes a strategic retreat is in order."
Thor looked at her, disgruntled, not liking what he was hearing. That look only deepened when he saw Loki's open grin. "You find this amusing!"
"Of course I do. She hasn't known you as long as I have, and independently reached the same conclusion. You see why I like her."
He glowered at Natasha, however, who looked back at him, unperturbed. "What makes you say such things? You know not what I'm capable of."
The arch look she gave him had Loki howling with laughter. Thor shot his unhappy look at Loki, who only laughed louder. It was enough to draw Bucky into the conversation, when he was happy enough to ignore them and keep his focus on how the levitating toys worked.
"My people love me," Thor told Natasha. "It will be peaceful when I rule Asgard, and I will protect all of the Nine Realms with ease."
She crossed her arms over her chest, unimpressed. "And your people here on Asgard. Do you know what they want? What they need?"
"Safety, of course. None of the evil Jotnar will think to cross out of their realm-"
"No," she interrupted, shaking her head. "Meaning infrastructure. Food. Utilities. Jobs. Being able to afford things at the market."
Thor frowned at her. "The people have what they need."
"But do you know what that is?" she asked pointedly.
He stared at her, flabbergasted. "I don't need to know such things!"
"Yes, you do. The title of the kingship here is Allfather. That's rather telling, isn't it?"
Bucky chuckled and shook his head at Thor's bewilderment. "If you don't know how something works, you can't make it better. You can't fix something you don't understand."
"It's not in need of repair!"
"Not now. But you don't know how it runs." He lifted the toy in his hands. "You know how to make this work if I break it?"
"I don't need to. I simply need to go to get it repaired."
"And if they don't got the tools," Bucky continued, "how's that gonna happen?"
Loki snickered at Thor's expression and then took pity on his brother. "Thor, do you see why it's helpful to have another opinion? Do you see why I keep them with me?"
"I suppose," Thor said uncertainly, not quite seeing Loki's point.
"You need to know how your people live," Natasha declared. "Walk around. Not as the prince, because no one will ever treat you like an ordinary man."
"We're novelties, so we'd stand out, too," Bucky told Loki.
"What do you propose?" Thor asked, still uncertain of Natasha's words.
"Time to explore your kingdom as if you're an ordinary man," Natasha said. She looked over at Loki. "All we need are some new faces, and you'll see what it's really like."
Loki grinned. "Oh, this shall be the most delightful trick..."
"Brother," Thor warned.
"I won't make you hideous, I promise. But changed enough that no one would see the crown prince Thor. No one would guess at your true identity."
The seidr masked all of their appearances. Loki was blond, with curly hair and vividly bright blue eyes, a bulkier frame and clothing that resembled that of a village grocer. Thor still had his blond hair, but his eyes were green now, and he also was wearing common clothes. Natasha and Bucky had their appearances changed to be that of villagers, with blond hair and blue eyes as well. They escaped the palace in this way and wandered out of the center of Asgard to the outskirts, where farms, manors and large fields for crops and livestock were kept. There was a class system on this realm, and the social rankings were rigidly adhered to. The royal family had the most power, then came the jarls. Their noble houses had varying ranks based on their service to the throne and realm, as well as the funds in the house coffers. High jarls tended to be advisors and hangers on at court. Lower jarls were the craftsmen and scholars. Karls were ordinary folk, though skilled karls could sometimes purchase their way into jarl ranks. Most karls were lesser craftsmen, tradesmen, laborers and service workers. Officially, there were no slaves or lesser men, but the few criminals on Asgard held no rank at all.
The four were dressed in the manner of the lowest karls. Thor obviously thought it was an insult to his dignity, to have his rank reversed so severely. With but a few coins in his pockets, they couldn't get much more than cheap ale, bread and a hunk of cheese, both of middling quality at the first inn they stopped at. Thor fought grimaces as he ate, though Natasha and Bucky ate as though it was fine dining. Loki didn't eat at all.
"Come, brother," Thor said, nudging his arm. "Don't care for the repast our host offers?"
"Someone must think to the future. Or did you expect unlimited coin for further meals and a roof over your head?" Loki asked tartly.
That startled Thor, and he stopped eating. "What? How long do you intend this farce to go?"
"As long as you need it to."
Natasha looked up from the trencher she shared with Bucky, having not paid extra for her own plate. "Might as well eat up. You never know when your next meal is coming."
"You sound as though you've known great hunger."
"We have," she replied simply, and finished off her cheese.
"Humans can go a few days without food without noticing too many effects," Bucky told Thor in an offhand manner. "Go without water, well, that's a harder thing to do. Without a place to stay, the first thing to do is establish shelter, source of water and warmth. Then worry about food and the job at hand."
Thor frowned at him. "What manner of man are you?"
Bucky gave him a level look and spoke with flat tones. "One that's good at what I do. People don't see me coming if I don't want them to. I get the job done."
When Thor looked at Natasha, she offered him a bland smile. "Who do you want me to be?"
"I don't understand," Thor murmured.
"In my travels," Loki began, folding his hands together on the table, "I discovered a location where children were trained most brutally to become efficient at killing, maiming and extracting secrets in whatever manner requested. They now belong to me."
"You would not be so cruel to children," Thor replied, shaking his head. "I don't believe it."
"I've changed the nature of the facility. The children are no longer tortured, but they still have their lessons, and I mean for them to use them."
"To what end?"
"Imagine, Thor. A network of spies across the realm, to confirm that tales we are told are true. To give us information on our enemies, to be able to leverage realms to our benefit."
Thor leaned back in his chair, mouth open in surprise. "Father doesn't even have such a thing."
"No, he doesn't. He has Hungin and Mungin," Loki agreed. "But they don't like you, and you are too impetuous to earn their trust."
Thor's eyes flashed, but he remained silent. It was true, after all.
"You keep pushing to obtain Father's throne," Loki continued in a low voice. "But do you really contemplate what it means? Can you live this way, among the people? Can you understand what their needs are? Anticipate them? Care for them all like children?"
Now he understood Natasha's question. "Allfather."
Loki nodded. "I haven't the temperament. I don't want the throne, brother. But you do. And this is what it will mean. Protecting every base life that depends on you for strength. Keeping food like this on the table. You may say it's not fit for your lips, and that's certainly true at the palace, but here? This is a fine delicacy for some."
Uneasily, Thor swallowed and looked about the tavern. "These are my people, you mean."
"Yes. Not just the Einherjar or warriors or jarls at the balls hosted that Mother makes us attend," Loki said quietly. "These are the ones that cannot help themselves."
"And what makes you so wise to their ways?" Thor asked curiously.
"I haven't lived as such here," Loki said, taking his brother's mug for a sip of the ale, "but I have seen it. Here and on Midgard. I've sampled a somewhat better lifestyle than this, found it wanting and very much lacking."
That seemed to give Thor pause for a moment. The others couldn't tell if he was humbled by that or not. "I'm not certain I like this life," Thor said finally.
"You're not meant to," Natasha told him.
"It's not your place," Bucky added. "It's theirs. But you have to make sure they still have a place and it doesn't all go up in smoke. War isn't glorious. War is brutal and bloody and hard, full of death and destruction and waste. People die. They're not just numbers on a page, not just a serial number to recite." His jaw clenched, anger flooding him. "You don't get to throw away lives because they're just numbers on a page, not even real people."
Natasha leaned in close, her hand on his thigh. "You're remembering something?"
"Yeah." His jaw clenched, he swallowed and looked away. "What they did to me when I was captured. What made me survive the fall. I remember."
Thor looked at him curiously, and nearly asked what Bucky was talking about. Loki met his gaze and shook his head sharply, and Thor lapsed into silence. "This can't be all of my kingdom," Thor said after a moment.
"Let's go see the fields, then," Natasha said quietly. "See how they grow the food that comes to the table, why there isn't enough left when it gets to the inns." Thor was obviously surprised at that, and Natasha rolled her eyes. "You don't listen to the talk around us? Or to what the servants say in the palace?"
"Why would I?" Thor asked, brows furrowed in confusion.
Natasha sighed as Bucky shook his head. Loki had to refrain from laughing at the sight of her aggrieved expression. "It's a wonder you think you can function as Allfather at all," she replied sternly. "No wonder Loki wanted us with him. We'll really have to whip you into shape if you're going to rule. This is unacceptable."
Affronted, Thor nearly shot to his feet in anger. Loki grasped his wrist and hissed "Don't make a scene!" at him, which made him recall that they were all under glamour. He dropped back into his seat and drank the rest of his ale, though he pulled a face and obviously didn't enjoy it.
"Don't presume to tell me how to run my kingdom when you've never been here before."
"We've been taught political theory, economics and such topics since early childhood," Natasha replied in a bored tone. "It was so we could recognize useful information when it was in front of us, and you're missing very obvious cues your own people are telling you."
"Listen to the spy, Thor," Loki told him, a slight smirk to his lips. "If you won't listen to my counsel, listen to the one who had accomplished much on her realm."
"She's a spy," Thor repeated. He turned to Bucky. "And you?"
"Assassin," he said without inflection. "Somebody has to do the dirty work."
Blowing out a slow breath, Thor looked at Loki in concern. "Brother, we must talk."
"Exactly why we're here," Loki replied, openly smirking now.
"Alone."
"What you say to me, you can say in front of them. They're mine."
Thor looked displeased by this, his lips flattening into a thin line. "This is not right. I shouldn't be tutored by tiny humans that don't understand the dynamics of Asgard. That throne is mine by right and intention. I am a fine warrior, and will make the people proud."
"Hungry people curse the names of whoever's in charge," Bucky pointed out. "Just saying."
Unhappy, Thor merely glared at him. "You have no right to speak to me this way."
"I give him that right. And you said you wanted to hear what they had to say. So you must listen to their counsel as if I had given it, and you must think for once in your life, not just react to it. They're not saying you're a boor and unfit to rule. They're telling you how you can become even better!"
"I am done with this game," Thor said, glaring at Loki. "I will go home and be done with it."
The other three exchanged a look, then Loki stood. "Then we shall return. But think on our discussion today. You know I'm right."
"I have nothing but the best intentions for the people of Asgard," Thor hissed.
"As do I," Loki replied, unperturbed. "Our home is grand and glorious. Our job is to ensure that it always stays that way, no matter the means to do so."
The four were silent on their way back to the palace.
***
"You think he knows we're together?" Bucky asked later that night in bed.
The three of them were snuggled together, Loki in the center. He snorted and continued running his fingers through Natasha's hair. "Of course not. He hasn't got enough imagination for that. I think it took him by surprise that he knows little of Asgard outside the palace or training with the Einherjar. He doesn't like feeling a fool."
"No one does," Bucky chuckled.
"Feeling better?" Loki asked, turning his head to look at Bucky. They had attacked each other with savage desire as soon as he had locked down the suite, roughly fucking until sated and exhausted, sweat cooling on their bodies.
"Kinda more settled," he replied, then tucked his head onto Loki's chest. He breathed slowly and deeply, but seemed less tense than before. Natasha reached over Loki's stomach and grasped his hand tightly. Bucky tilted so he could smile at her, and relaxed further against Loki.
"The memories coming back and not knowing what our place is to be," she guessed. She brought his hand to her lips and kissed his knuckles gently. "Not knowing what the future is going to be."
"You make me sound like I'm trying to be a good guy," Bucky sighed.
"Aren't you?" Loki asked in surprise.
Bucky sighed and closed his eyes, a shiver rolling through him that Loki could feel. "I guess I was. Sort of. But I wasn't the best. Not that pure or good."
"Bucky..." Natasha began, sounding a little uncertain.
"He called me that," Bucky said abruptly. "The first to call me Bucky. He couldn't say Buchanan right when we were kids. I remember that. And the other kids, they already teased him so bad because he was little and sick with asthma, I told him Bucky was fine. Steve was the good one, getting into every fight in Brooklyn because he couldn't stand bullies. And look at what they made me into. Look at what they made me do."
Natasha shifted to perch her weight on an elbow, looking at him intently. "And look at what you do. You, not the Asset, separate from the Winter Soldier. Look at what you choose to do. Look at how you help us, when you are able to choose for yourself."
"He was a good man." Bucky's voice broke and he shuddered a little, though tears wouldn't come to his eyes. "Steve had to watch me die, and I can't even imagine how he felt. How he had to carry on, how he felt when he died. He died a fuckin' hero. I just fell."
"And you've climbed back out of the hell you were put into," Natasha told him.
"You are not cruel," Loki pointed out. "Neutral at worst, but not evil. Not brutal, not malicious, not delighting in others' pain."
"Of course you say that," Bucky began, though now the uncertain tone was in his voice.
"Because I am the epitome of kindness and sunshine," Loki drawled, rolling his eyes. "Please. I'm not so besotted that I think you do no wrong. I'm not deluded into thinking that you're an innocent. You've done things you're not proud of. Sometimes you have to in order to survive. Rather than think of it as a failing, embrace it. You're a survivor. Why is that a terrible thing to be? Your past happened. It's not that your present is a lie, but that you have changed over time in response to what went on."
"That's... Amazingly logical," Bucky said after a moment. He shifted to lie on his stomach, his chin digging into Loki's chest a bit. "Like you believe it."
Loki rolled his eyes again. "They had to erase you to make you into what they could use. Why in all of the nine realms would you believe it was what you used to be?"
"Well, it was easy."
"Killing is easy," Natasha murmured without apology. "Making them suffer is an art."
"It's an art you were well trained in. Don't shy away from it," Loki advised them. "You have skills that few others do. Use them. Find a place to belong to."
"Like to you," Bucky guessed, the corner of his lips curling into a smile.
"The thought occurred to me, of course," Loki replied in a mockingly haughty tone. He laughed when Natasha giggled. "I brought you with me for a reason, you know. Not simply because of how pathetic your realm is. Because I like you both, and I think you're useful, and I think you both are excellent company."
"We like you, too," Natasha replied, smiling at him. She giggled again at his exasperated look and pressed her lips to his chest in a kiss. "You wouldn't openly claim us if you didn't. You wouldn't stand up to your brother on our behalf if we didn't mean something."
"You're mine and you're in my home."
"And I think I understand enough about the culture to realize what that means," Natasha said quietly. "We're your family and you're ours. We can dress it up in fancy words and clauses and deeds like they do here on Asgard, but it works as it is. I don't need the words."
"I don't either," Bucky replied, lifting his head enough to stare at Loki.
"It doesn't trouble you?" Loki asked archly.
"Back before the war... I loved Steve. Not like this," he said, waving a free hand over their entangled bodies. "But in the sense that I never would've left him alone. He didn't have to be if he didn't want to be. I would've done anything for him. When we worked together before I died the first time, I killed for him, hid it if I could so he wouldn't look at me different. I loved him, and he was good. I had to live up to that. This is the same. Kind of. In the sense that I gotta do the right thing, gotta make sure we're safe. That's love, isn't it?"
Loki tightened an arm around each of them and smiled. "The best kind."
***
***