I gave up on consequence
Yesterday was the start of Jason's game. Apparently I picked up a cursed item he invented, the Rose Cloak. It's red and black, a rose clasp that digs into the flesh to stay secured. It billows even without wind and drops rose petals as long as I'm standing/walking/running. There goes the stealthy sneaky spy character. ::throws up hands::
We played until about 1:30 am, and I get up at 4 am to pump. Not that I wash up as much as I should at bedtime, but let's say I got only about two hours of sleep. Jason got more, and he got a chance to go out and play in a different game today. I had the kids and even kind of got roped into helping with the 3K class at Sunday school. I told them I couldn't be there every week, because I have two boys in the Mustard Seeds class, and the only times I would be able to help with the 3K room is when Jason is able to watch the boys. That's going to be a rare event, though, because more people quit at Jason's job, so he's been working a lot of weekends.
It was rough in spots today. Not that the kids are awful or terrible all the time, but it was in stupid dinky things that it got rough. Zach refusing to do things like clean up the mess he made or go potty on the potty chair. Maddy was pretty good in the afternoon, though I did have to raise my voice a few times today to get her to divert attention from anything else.
But by about 4 pm or so, I felt utterly wiped out. I was physically exhausted, as if beaten down, and I just wanted to slump over and sleep. Jason got home early, but then he collapsed face down on the bed in our room, leaving me still in charge of the kids. Calling out for him didn't make a dent, whether because he didn't hear me or because he fell asleep, I dons like that. 't know. I think he looked almost guilty as we were heading out to dinner, and I couldn't help but think it's sad that going to work is almost like a break from the kids, but that's stressful sometimes too, and going home I merely exchange one stress for another.
The worst part was Jason seeing that Maddy had taken the crayon she had stolen from Sunday School to scribble ALL OVER the back of the car. The upholstery, head rest, plastic near the head rest, you name it, she scribbled on it. There was no explanation, just a sullen expression on her face and a shrug as if she's a teenager telling us to fuck off, she wants to smoke and drink. The crayon was in circular swirls and cross hatches that looked like she was playing tic tac toe with herself. The only time she could have done that was on the way back to hurt, and usually she's so good about following rule. Then, once she was punished, she did nothing but wail and cry as Jason tried to scrub at the car. I had to get Zach and Nick taken care of, and it seemed like every time she could hear us, Maddy would wail "owie" over and over, ramping up louder. I suppressed the urge to tell her to stuff it. My parents used to tell me that I had no right to cry or feel upset, and I'm not doing that to my kids. She can be upset, but she also has to know that this is a consequence of her bad behavior. Especially since she never once apologized to Jason, never gave an explanation, and only seemed sorry she was caught. If it doesn't come out of the upholstery, she's grounded for a month.
We played until about 1:30 am, and I get up at 4 am to pump. Not that I wash up as much as I should at bedtime, but let's say I got only about two hours of sleep. Jason got more, and he got a chance to go out and play in a different game today. I had the kids and even kind of got roped into helping with the 3K class at Sunday school. I told them I couldn't be there every week, because I have two boys in the Mustard Seeds class, and the only times I would be able to help with the 3K room is when Jason is able to watch the boys. That's going to be a rare event, though, because more people quit at Jason's job, so he's been working a lot of weekends.
It was rough in spots today. Not that the kids are awful or terrible all the time, but it was in stupid dinky things that it got rough. Zach refusing to do things like clean up the mess he made or go potty on the potty chair. Maddy was pretty good in the afternoon, though I did have to raise my voice a few times today to get her to divert attention from anything else.
But by about 4 pm or so, I felt utterly wiped out. I was physically exhausted, as if beaten down, and I just wanted to slump over and sleep. Jason got home early, but then he collapsed face down on the bed in our room, leaving me still in charge of the kids. Calling out for him didn't make a dent, whether because he didn't hear me or because he fell asleep, I dons like that. 't know. I think he looked almost guilty as we were heading out to dinner, and I couldn't help but think it's sad that going to work is almost like a break from the kids, but that's stressful sometimes too, and going home I merely exchange one stress for another.
The worst part was Jason seeing that Maddy had taken the crayon she had stolen from Sunday School to scribble ALL OVER the back of the car. The upholstery, head rest, plastic near the head rest, you name it, she scribbled on it. There was no explanation, just a sullen expression on her face and a shrug as if she's a teenager telling us to fuck off, she wants to smoke and drink. The crayon was in circular swirls and cross hatches that looked like she was playing tic tac toe with herself. The only time she could have done that was on the way back to hurt, and usually she's so good about following rule. Then, once she was punished, she did nothing but wail and cry as Jason tried to scrub at the car. I had to get Zach and Nick taken care of, and it seemed like every time she could hear us, Maddy would wail "owie" over and over, ramping up louder. I suppressed the urge to tell her to stuff it. My parents used to tell me that I had no right to cry or feel upset, and I'm not doing that to my kids. She can be upset, but she also has to know that this is a consequence of her bad behavior. Especially since she never once apologized to Jason, never gave an explanation, and only seemed sorry she was caught. If it doesn't come out of the upholstery, she's grounded for a month.