(no subject)
Today was horrible. Awful. So what did I do? Binge on cereal in front of the TV. Eat out of a bottomless bowl. Spoon to mouth, food to lips, refill refill refill. What the hell is my problem? Why the fuck am I like this? Really, it wasn't all that bad a day. I'm just fucked. I hate you, food. I hate you, life. I hate you, Sandra. Why can't you just be who I want you to be? Why can't you just live up to my aspirations, my dreams for you? Why do you fucking suck? And what will I do; purge? Hopefully. In fact, I think I will. I'll purge and purge and purge and vomit and puke and barf and toss until there's nothing left. No food, no feeling, no life. I'll up it 'til there's blood, 'til there's nothing. I'll up it 'til he calls and pretend everything is fine. I'll be strong in front of him, because that's how he sees me.
I'm cutting a sign; food is the devil. It does nothing for me. Just like life. Fuck you.
God I suck.
I'm cutting a sign; food is the devil. It does nothing for me. Just like life. Fuck you.
God I suck.