I can't even think straight now..
God.. fucking.. damnit.
Things had been wonderful. Life that is. I had just begun the real steps of healing. Getting over Will. I am pretty much over the relationship. But i still miss him. But anyways.. thats another story.
What i'm trying to get at is this: (forgive the improper grammar) I had someone tell me today.. not in so many words.. that they still cared about me. greatly. in "i would like to be more than friends" manner. *Cringes* i don't need this right now. I realized i don't want that right now. I may crave it. But i don't want it. Atleast not from this person. That sounds so incredibly mean. but it's true. I don't see anything going past friends. I thought.. err.. HOPED.. that his feelings would have changed by now.. *shakes her head* alas.. they have not. Now what do i do? the weirdness factor that has always lingered in the air.. never really making quite the proper appearance.. will be in full swing again. i despise that feeling. I'm going to have to eliminate activity for awhile. maybe that will calm things down? god.. my head hurts. just stop it all. it's too much. too much is happening within a months time span. i need to leave. i need to go somewhere.. somewhere else. do something with other people. or just by myself. i don't know... what if i said no? it's the most probable outcome.. what am i to do then? what if i find someone i like? how will that make him feel? i don't want the guilt.. that pain.. that wretched voice in the back of my head saying "you know you're hurting him." I can't deal with that!! I can't! i just can't!! i need to sleep.. i think i'll leave..
Things had been wonderful. Life that is. I had just begun the real steps of healing. Getting over Will. I am pretty much over the relationship. But i still miss him. But anyways.. thats another story.
What i'm trying to get at is this: (forgive the improper grammar) I had someone tell me today.. not in so many words.. that they still cared about me. greatly. in "i would like to be more than friends" manner. *Cringes* i don't need this right now. I realized i don't want that right now. I may crave it. But i don't want it. Atleast not from this person. That sounds so incredibly mean. but it's true. I don't see anything going past friends. I thought.. err.. HOPED.. that his feelings would have changed by now.. *shakes her head* alas.. they have not. Now what do i do? the weirdness factor that has always lingered in the air.. never really making quite the proper appearance.. will be in full swing again. i despise that feeling. I'm going to have to eliminate activity for awhile. maybe that will calm things down? god.. my head hurts. just stop it all. it's too much. too much is happening within a months time span. i need to leave. i need to go somewhere.. somewhere else. do something with other people. or just by myself. i don't know... what if i said no? it's the most probable outcome.. what am i to do then? what if i find someone i like? how will that make him feel? i don't want the guilt.. that pain.. that wretched voice in the back of my head saying "you know you're hurting him." I can't deal with that!! I can't! i just can't!! i need to sleep.. i think i'll leave..