(no subject)
Well, I'm not sure how today went overall.
I'm constantly fighting to find time to hang out with Billy because so many things keep getting in the way. It's getting so frusterating and causing me more stress. This was supposed to be a more "safe haven" of a relationship, something that would come more naturally. ::sigh:: Frustration. I talked to him today and he offered to come over and keep my company while I babysit. But, I already had Kevin coming over, so I thought it might be awkward.
I called Kevin for the first time in two months yesterday and we talked and had fun. So I told him he should go to Oliver tonight cause I thought I was going to go. But my parents made me watch my brother so I couldn't so Kevin decided just to come to my house and we'd hang out. It was fun. But I'm really wishing I would have said no so Billy could have come instead. I need to stop needing someone around so often cause I end up not doing the things I really want to do. ::sigh::
I also couldn't go to the X vs. Colrain game tonight, which made me even madder cause I wanted to hang out with Missy.
And I wanted to see Oliver again.
And I wanted to do something productive but that didn't happen.
::sigh:: Social life=more pressure on top of everything else.
And don't even get me started on basketball.
I think I'm destined to be a social recluse. I think I'd enjoy that life. Like Salinger. Or like the guy in "The Bet". Hm. Yes, I think I'd enjoy that a lot.
I'm constantly fighting to find time to hang out with Billy because so many things keep getting in the way. It's getting so frusterating and causing me more stress. This was supposed to be a more "safe haven" of a relationship, something that would come more naturally. ::sigh:: Frustration. I talked to him today and he offered to come over and keep my company while I babysit. But, I already had Kevin coming over, so I thought it might be awkward.
I called Kevin for the first time in two months yesterday and we talked and had fun. So I told him he should go to Oliver tonight cause I thought I was going to go. But my parents made me watch my brother so I couldn't so Kevin decided just to come to my house and we'd hang out. It was fun. But I'm really wishing I would have said no so Billy could have come instead. I need to stop needing someone around so often cause I end up not doing the things I really want to do. ::sigh::
I also couldn't go to the X vs. Colrain game tonight, which made me even madder cause I wanted to hang out with Missy.
And I wanted to see Oliver again.
And I wanted to do something productive but that didn't happen.
::sigh:: Social life=more pressure on top of everything else.
And don't even get me started on basketball.
I think I'm destined to be a social recluse. I think I'd enjoy that life. Like Salinger. Or like the guy in "The Bet". Hm. Yes, I think I'd enjoy that a lot.