Love me like I Love you 18
Title: Love me like I Love you 18
Pairing: Taecyeon/Wooyoung, Junsu/Junho
Rating: M
TaecWoo: Because of dance everything leads to disguising himself as a girl and loosing all his first. Life goes from normal to strange as Wooyoung gains a lover.
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I waited and waited, but that night, Taecyeon did not come.
Junho peeked in my room more than five times before he finally sighed at the tenth time and walked in.
"I have something to tell you." he said.
I opened my eyes and stared at him.
He fidgeted, his mouth opened and closed and his body looked tensed.
"What is it?" I asked.
It took him a while but finally, Junho walked up to my bed and sat.
"Taecyeon is maybe...not coming." he said.
I nodded and chuckled as I looked away.
"I figured that out myself." I said.
"But you don't understand." Junho said.
I didn't reply.
"You said you haven't been watching t.v." he said.
I turned to him at the mention of that again.
"I-"
Junho opened his mouth to talk when Junsu screamed his name and he rushed out my room.
With all the strength I had I pushed myself up and walked out my room.
It didn't require me to be even close to the t.v before I heard it.
I stood speechless as pictures and videos of Taecyeon and I rushed through the t.v.
The lady spoke in a demeaning, disgusted tone as she bashed out my name as if wanting to curse.
Gay.
The word repeated and repeated and as I stood there longer, the t.v shut off and I was pulled into a tight hug
"You shouldn't be watching this."
It was Junsu hyungs voice.
"Go back to bed." he said as he pulled me back into my room.
I didn't say anything. I didn't do anything. I let myself be pulled away.
If I tried to do anything...I don't know what would happen.
Junsu hyung laid me down in bed and I ignored everything and forced myself to sleep.
Trying so hard. With all my might to not believe what I just heard.
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I couldn't sleep.
I just couldn't.
Junsu and Junho came in and out and finally just both stayed in my room as I couldn't speak.
A lot of thoughts ran through my mind.
I didn't know whether I was mad or sad or whether I should be either.
I laid there in silence and thought.
I kind of knew it would happen, with how much he'd been getting closer and closer and ignoring the fact that he's a celebrity.
I just hoped his career wasn't ruined because of me.
I continued in my blank and motionless state of worry and anger as I laid there.
Soyoung soon came walking in and after a long talk and argue with Junho and Junsu, it was just left with me and Soyoung.
She didn't talk, just pulled me into a hug.
I let her hug me.
"So you found out huh...." she whispered.
I nodded my head.
She sighed as I felt her head fall gently on my mine. A very long silence passed as I squeezed onto her body.
"I just hope his career isn't ruined." I whispered.
Soyoung opened her mouth.
I could tell she wanted to say something to me even though I couldn't see her face.
"Go on." I said.
A hand rubbed through my hair as she slowly consoled me.
"He's going to the army Woo." Soyoung said.
I chuckled.
"Are you okay?" Soyoung asked.
I pulled away and nodded as I smiled wide at her.
I wasn't going to show her my pain. She's dealt with me enough with our parents death.
"Your not okay Woo." she said.
I coughed.
"I still may have that fever." I said.
"Yeah. Remember I took a whole week off for you. You need proper rest and after this-"
"I just need another day and I'll be fine." I said.
"Woo-"
"Look if you keep me here by myself I will really think about it. I don't want to think about it." I said
A long silence passed.
Soyoung got up from my bed and looked at me hard and serious.
"Your hurting...again Woo...I'm so sorry."
I stared at her the same way.
The more she spoke, the more my chest hurt so I kicked her out.
She did as I told her, usually she would yell and I would get in trouble if I disobeyed her.
I laid there in thoughts once again all by myself.
When the food came, I ate. When the medicine came, I drank it.
'This isn't something to be depressed about. You knew this would happen.' I thought to myself.
With that, the day passed, and the night passed.
But all I could think of was the fact that it was Taecyeons birthday and to receive such....an awful birthday gift.
I fell asleep with only that thought.
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'You should really be more careful. Your an idol. You can't be seen around us who aren't idols. You don't want to start a scandal and I don't want to be hated.'
With these words I woke up.
The last words I said to Taecyeon.
I laid still as I stared at the ceiling remembering that scene and his face after I said those words.
Soyoung came in silently urging me to go shower and brush if I was awake.
I did what I was told.
Life had to continue. Just like with our parents our life still continued.
When I finished everything and smelled the food, I managed to pull myself off my bed and to where Soyoung was making the food in the kitchen.
I sat down, turned on the tv only for Soyoung to shut it off and stare hard at me.
"Can I at least watch a drama?" I asked.
"Fine." she said.
I picked up the remote and flipped through the channels.
I heard some of it, but refused to give in to temptation as I found a good drama.
Minutes later and I was eating and Soyoung was off to work.
She forbid me from watching anything but dramas.
Of course I wouldn't listen to her. I had to at least know exactly what what was going on and how.
I finished eating rather quickly and changed it to one of the channels.
It hit me like a bullet again, the pictures.
The skinship was way more than what a hyung and a dongsaeng would do.
I was just glad that no kiss ones had popped up.
It seemed to be a huge scandal, as the lady said.
I watched seriously and close eyed, never once taking my eyes away from the screen, even when Taecyeon hyung himself showed up.
The pictures seemed interesting.
They were mostly ones of us going to the hospital and in school.
I chuckled and smirked.
"Must be someone in school then." I said to myself.
And with that, as the broadcast ended, I discovered that it wasn't the first time this scandal has come up.
A month ago some fans released some pictures to reporters who posted but those were more hyung and dongsaeng pictures. Now that it came up again, it's causing more controversy and Taecyeons manager has pulled Taecyeon away from Busan and away from my school but the the other two members would still stay.
It made me feel uncomfortable but in that meantime their comeback is set back because Taecyeon really is going to fulfill his duties in the army.
A full year.
"But he has his career...and a education." I whispered to myself.
I lowered my head in anger.
He's about only a year older than me and needs his last year to at least finish high school.
It made me angry at myself for causing this.
I should have been more responsible and thought of his situation more.
"He's an idol Woo."
I always said in my mind but did nothing.
I hit myself on the head and turned off the tv before falling onto the couch and groaning at my incoming headache.
It hit me hard as I groaned and rolled on my side.
I continued laying there with the news that I just discovered as the door opened.
I already knew who it was before I had to look.
"It's dangerous outside." Junsu hyung suddenly said.
I sat up and greeted them.
"Why?" I asked as Junho handed me my work.
I quickly started on finishing that too.
"There's a lot of girls outside." Junsu hyung said as he sat down next to me.
"Huh? Why?" I asked.
"Because." he said.
I lifted my head and caught eyes with my hyung.
"The scandal." I said.
He nodded.
"So you have seen it." Junho said as he set some food in front of us and handed both Junsu hyung and I some chopsticks.
"I think it's someone from school." I said.
"It might be. There's a lot of girls who like him at the school. It might have been one of his stalker fans." Junho said as he sat.
I sighed and put my homework.
"I should have been more careful." I said.
"It's not your fault Woo." Junho said.
"I shouldn't have let him do anything in public. I always let him do what he wanted. I should have said straight forward earlier." I said frowning as I lowered my head.
"It doesn't matter. You two are good friends so I don't understand how there's a rumor about him being gay. It's not understandable at all. There's something called skinship...or has our country forgotten?" Junsu hyung said.
A long moment of silence passed as I stared down at the floor and shook my head.
"Woo." Junho said.
I continued shaking my head.
"It's not true." I said.
"Wooyoung you don't have to-"
"But he has to know." I said as I looked up at Junho.
We caught eyes for a long time.
"What are you two going on about now?" Junsu hyung asked with a mouth full of food.
I sighed and turned to him.
"I know." I said.
Hyung lifted his head and stared at me weirdly.
"What the heck are you talking about?" he asked, confused at my words.
"Wooyoung." Junho said.
I turned away and sighed again.
"I know about-"
"Wooyoung!!" Junho yelled.
"...You and Junho. I know!" I screamed.
The longest silence passed, only the t.v stayed on.
It took a while for Junsu hyung to stand up without a word.
"Wait." I said as I grabbed the hem of his shirt.
He didn't look at me and I didn't look at him.
"Taecyeon and I...we are also-"
"Shut up!"
I didn't get a chance to finish as Junsu hyung pulled away and started grabbing his things.
"We've done something we shouldn't have! I'm sorry hyung but he said he likes me. I...accepted his feeling." I said the last part really silently.
"Shut up." Junsu hyung said once again.
I sighed and lowered my head.
It took a while for me to lift my head, and when I did the room was still silent and it was left with only me.
I stared at the food and the empty spaces that should of been filled.
Finally I just looked to my homework and then studied.
When Soyoung came, I cried.
A pitiful man I called myself. I cried that night only without exposing why.
The next day, I got up and went to school.
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I wasn't expecting people standing outside my apartment early in the morning but as Soyoung and I stepped out, curse words were thrown at me as well as questions.
Mostly by a bunch of girls in school uniforms.
I even recognized some uniforms to be my school uniform.
I felt the big pain in my chest as Soyoung pulled me away and told me to ignore them.
So I did just that only until they started threatening us.
"Maybe you shouldn't go to school today." Soyoung said.
"I need to face this sooner than later." I said.
A long silence passed.
She just stared at me.
I sighed and walked past her and the screaming girls to her car.
It took her only a few minutes before she sat next to me in the car and started driving.
We arrived early just so I could get in class without seeing anyone.
"Be careful."
I turned to Soyoung and nodded as I showed her a big smile.
"Stop worrying so much." I said laughing as I stepped out her car, waved, and quickly walked into the school.
I made no stops anywhere and headed straight for my classroom.
I was glad no one was in the yet.
I sat down in my usual seat and took my bag off.
My head fell straight down as I rested it in my hands.
It only took a few minutes later for people to start coming in.
I instantly heard it when the girls started coming in groups.
I continued keeping my head down trying not attract any unwanted attention when a tap on my shoulder frightened me into lifting my head.
I was met face to face with a girl too close in front of me.
"Umm..."
Those were the only words I got out before I was slapped.
It surprised me. It really surprised me.
My cheek stung.
The whole class stayed quiet for only a few moments before chattering again.
"You stupid gay! Leave oppa alone!" The girl yelled before walking back to her seat.
I stared. Stared at nothing.
Not even the class president said anything about what just happened.
He just turned around and stared ahead.
My eyes went wide as I slowly lifted my hand to touch my cheek.
It stung more as I touched it.
"Wooyoung?"
I turned my head to see Junho, my hand still on my burning cheek.
I felt a blush rising on my cheeks as I stared at him.
'Was he always here? Did he see that?' I wondered pathetically.
"Are you okay coming to school?" Junho simply asked as he took his seat next to me.
'He didn't see.'
Quickly I removed my hand from my cheek and smiled.
"Of course I am." I said smiling wide.
"Are you okay talking to me?" I silently asked
"It doesn't matter. We talked. Your going through a hard time now." Junho said.
"If it hurts you should go to the nurse." Junho said.
My head quickly turned to him and I blinked once. Twice.
"No." I simply said.
I couldn't let some obsessed high school girls bring me down.
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The rest of the school day went exactly how I knew it would go.
I got a lot of comments and a lot of stares.
I had to avoid all the girls to manage to not get slapped again.
I understood their feeling so I didn't hate them.
I also tried in every way possible to ignore the girl that went out with Taecyeon for a day.
Her and her brother.
I couldn't even say her name or look at her anymore without thinking that I completely lied to a girl who had true feelings for him.
Also, if I were to meet her sister-complex brother, I would have definitely died.
The day went by so slowly that when I finally got home from walking, my body fell flat.
I didn't even make it to my room as my body hit the floor.
"How am I going to survive?" I whispered to myself.
When Soyoung arrived, I was still laying on the floor.
She helped me up and into my bed before bringing me some food.
"What happened?" she asked.
I lifted my head and looked at her.
She pointed to my cheek and I lowered my head.
"Woo-"
"Some people are very mad." I simply said. "I deserve it."
"Don't say that." Soyoung almost yelled. "I'm so..."
She paused as I lifted my head and smiled at her.
She stared at me for a few seconds before getting up and walking of of my room.
She came back only a few minutes later with a towel full of ice.
"It looks really bad. How hard were you hit?" she asked.
I didn't reply but applied the ice of my sore cheek.
Soyoung stayed in my room until I fell asleep.
I know this only because when I woke up the next morning, she was gone.
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School the following days seemed to get much more worse every passing day.
It seemed like the news would never leave my back.
I ran into both Nichkhun and Chansung more times than I wanted.
I tried my hardest to avoid them as much as I could, and that was always.
The girls still harassed me and I avoided all the guys because I knew some wanted to beat me up.
I felt like I was protecting myself from school.
The only things I focused on was the homework, tests and studying.
Junsu hyung didn't speak to me anymore and Junho hyung still seemed to be a little mad at me.
He helped me in protecting myself but other than that I snuck in the library and ate lunch in there.
Life was getting more tiring for me each day and all I could think about was what Taecyeon was doing.
I hated myself because of this.
I needed to forget him.
Fast.
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Exactly two months passed of pure torture at school.
It was just another end of the day when I quickly left the building and stood at my usual spot as I waited for Soyoung.
It was silent, no more screaming girls tagging behind me of waiting so they can yell out curses at me.
I stood at my usual spot, my hands in my pants pocket, waiting for Soyoung when a tap on my shoulder startled me.
I turned around and was met face to face with Chansung.
I stepped back but he grabbed my arm.
Quickly I pulled away.
"Don't do that." I said.
"We need to talk." Chansung said.
"No." I said.
"But I have some things to-"
"Please don't do this. Don't talk to me. Don't make people hate me more." I said.
My voice sounded as if I would cry but I yelled at myself to not cry.
'Im a man.' I thought.
"He wants me to tell you some things." Chansung whispered after a long silence.
"I don't." I whispered back. "I don't want to-"
"Yah! Gay boy what are you doing!"
Quickly I stepped back more from Chansung.
"Please stop talking to me." I said staring at him intently.
He must of saw something in my look because he quickly sighed and turned away.
I watched as he walked off.
"Yah!"
The girl stood in front of me angrily.
"You trying to rub your gay to another member. Can't you stop you ugly little piece of shit. Do you want a beating!"
I didn't flinch and I didn't move. I also didn't reply her but just turned back to face the street.
'Hurry Soyoung.' I thought.
I would walk but Soyoung didn't want me to walk anymore.
She felt it was more dangerous.
The girl continued yelling and the more I continued ignoring her, the more she became angry.
She finally left and I sighed, glad for only a few moments that she was gone.
It lasted only just a few moments because the next thing I knew I was tackled from the back.
A hand landed on my mouth and more then five arms circled around me and started pulling me away.
I struggled as much as I could but it was really no use at all.
I saw how many people there were exactly when we reached the secluded woods behind the school.
Four unknown guys and the girl that was yelling at me.
They threw me on the ground and I hit it hard.
"Ouch.." I groaned as I rubbed my elbow.
"He's the one oppa. He's the gay boy in our school who's been threatening me." the girl said.
'Threatening?'
That was my only thought before I felt a kick to my back.
"What the fuck have you said to my sister!" one of the guys yelled.
'These guys and their sister complexes.' I instantly thought.
I didn't get a chance to see his face or reply as I was kicked again.
Things became blurry quick.
The girl was yelled at to leave while I was left on the ground being hit and kicked every chance the guys got.
I tried to defend myself but it really was four to one and all of them were taller and bigger than me.
At one point I just gave up and laid there.
"Hey hyung. He's gay right, so he likes it up the ass."
I tensed at those words.
"Let's show him to not mess with your sister again. This faggot."
With these words I quickly got up and started running.
I didn't care that some places of my body hurt or that my bag was left in the woods.
I just ran.
Somehow I knew what they wanted to do to me and it wasn't just beat me up.
I ran, not knowing exactly where I was going.
I ran and ran as I tried to get away from they four boys running after me.
'Soyoung. Soyoung.' I thought. 'Someone. Help me. Taec.'
I was grabbed by the arm quicker than I could think.
I yelled, yelled so loud for my life.
I thought I would be killed.
I yelled as they kicked me a few more until was completely laid on the ground.
When hands started roaming my body I kicked and started yelling some more.
When my pants were pulled down I kicked even more.
When I was flipped over, I froze, tears running down my eyes.
I closed my eyes tight as I felt hands everywhere, kicks and punches everywhere.
I yelled so much that my breathing became heavy and I couldn't stay alert.
My eyes started hurting but the pain from everywhere on my body became more noticeable.
My body became limp at some point.
My body started giving in and giving up.
Finally they stopped.
Silence surrounded me as l laid there and walks started rushing past my ears as curses were shot at me.
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I laid for a long time.
A very long time.
It became dark before I knew it.
I couldn't get up even if I wanted to try.
I laid there staring up at the sky, crying my eyes out, hating myself, wanting to die.
I just couldn't believe they did that.
I didn't know exactly what they did but my whole lower body was numb and I couldn't move.
I bit my lower lip as I remembered the events that happened to me not only a few hours ago.
I yelled his name.
I said his name.
I couldn't believe I did that and it made me cry even harder.
I thought I would die in the woods as I laid there.
These thoughts went through my mind as a small sound startled me.
My name. My name was being called out. Different voices.
Painfully I pulled my pants back on and wiped my tear stained face.
It didn't take long at all.
"Wooyoung!"
It sounded like Hwang Chansung.
I tightened my eyes as the other voices started becoming clear.
Soyoung, Junsu, Junho, Nichkhun, 2PM's manager, and another voice I couldn't recognize.
Chansung reached me earlier as I felt him hover over me.
"Hyung what happened! Oh my...who did this to you!?" Chansung yelled.
I didn't reply and I kept my eyes closed as I felt the others hover over me.
A lot of questions were thrown at me but I refused to open my eyes or talk.
"Can't...walk..."
My voice sounded hoarse but quickly and gently, I was picked up.
It felt like Chansung but as I was too embarrassed and still a little scared, I kept my eyes closed and tried not to whimper and whine at the pain and ache of my body.
I heard Soyoung crying and hoped she would stop soon because if she continued then I would cry.
The whole car ride back I kept my eyes closed.
When we got to my apartment, I finally opened my eyes.
"What the hell happened to you Wooyoung." Soyoung cried as she looked down at me.
"Bath." I simply said.
They did as I said and left me in the bath.
I cleaned myself hard and rough.
If someone had not come in I would of scrubbed myself red all over.
I closed my eyes again as someone pulled me out and helped me dress.
I was so ashamed and never wanted to show my face to anyone again.
I was taken to my room and I wrapped myself up in blankets and ignored everyone.
I heard them talking outside my room. I heard how Soyoung cried and how Junsu hyung threatened to kill whoever hurt me.
I couldn't listen to it anymore as I let myself fall into a deep one.
Sleep.
The only thing that could take everything away.
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The next day was quiet.
Soyoung walked into my room and declared no school for me.
I wasn't planning on going anyway.
Not ever.
I couldn't take it anymore.
Soyoung quietly left and I curled myself up in sheets.
I didn't realize my cheeks getting wet until something we touched my sheets.
This is when I realized I was thinking about it again.
About him.
About the whole situation.
I sighed and cursed at myself.
I laid in my bed until Soyoung came back.
Ate, and went back to bed without talking.
Soyoung asked and asked but I couldn't speak. I couldn't talk.
I didn't even know what happened myself.
It was to dark to see anything that was happening.
That day was a day that I would always remember though.
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Months and months went by where I didn't go anywhere or do anything but sleep and eat.
At one point in those months, I snuck out to visit the place where I got beat up.
Sneaking out and wearing a disguise as if I was celebrity, I found myself standing where it happened.
I didn't even know how I found the place but I knew it was where I was standing because a few things from my bag were scattered.
Slowly I bent down and picked my things up.
It was so hard to get back up though and before I realized it, I fell down on my knees and started crying.
'The last day!' I yelled in my head. 'The last day of crying.'
And that was it.
I left the scene feeling confident and not so depressed anymore.
I also left those awful woods backing away all the Taecyeon memories to the back of my head.
I knew what happened to me in the woods that night finally.
I could remember.
"I guess...I'm not as dirty as I thought." I whispered to myself.
On the walk back to my home I decided to finally start going back to school.
I needed to finish at least my senior year.
I needed to prove something to myself that I am strong enough to continue going on.
I had to fulfill my mothers wish.
I arrived home the exact same time Soyoung arrived.
We both went into our home in quietness, but as the door closed, I opened my mouth.
"I wasn't raped." I said.
Soyoung turned to me quickly, eyes wide as she stared at me.
"It's okay. I'm not dirty. I was wrong. I remembered. I went back." I said as I pulled my dirtied things out of my sweater pocket and tossed them on our table.
Soyoung just continued staring at me.
I walked to our kitchen and drank some water.
The silence continued as I walked to the couch and sat down.
"They used something...but I'm sure it wasn't themselves." I quietly said.
Quickly, I was pulled into a hug.
I let Soyoung hug me for the first time in many months.
I hugged her back tightly as I felt her tears on my shoulder.
"Don't cry. Your getting my shirt wet." I said.
She just laughed as she continued laughing.
I patted her back and relaxed.
A long moment passed as I let her cry on my shoulder.
When she finally stopped and seemed to have calm down, I opened my mouth again.
"I'm...I'm sorry but...I want to finish school." I said.
She pulled away from the hug while still holding onto me.
We stared at each othe for a few minutes.
"Are you sure?" she asked.
I smiled and nodded.
"I want to open my own dance studio and teach kids one day." I admitted.
"Your going to dance again!" she squealed.
I nodded and she pulled me into a hug.
Soyoung has always liked when I danced of taught her some moves.
I quickly stopped even before the my parents death for reasons that I myself don't even know but soon started again after their death only to stop again when the scandal burst.
"I have to go register again." I said as I pulled away from Soyoungs hug.
"No." she said as she quickly got up.
"I've saved some money for this." she said as she walked away.
She came back a few minutes later with a flyer.
"Your going to a s all private school that no one knows about. I won't let you get hurt again." she said sternly.
And with that, my changing new life started and I began private school.
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A/N im home. long time. I'm sorry.