A Hundred Tens (Part II)
Title: A Hundred Tens
Author: eunhaemaniac
Pairing: Baekhyun/Chanyeol
Length: 7300+ words
Summary: I am the glitch and he is the sunshine.
We all slip away sometimes," he whispered in my ears. I tried to ask him why but no voice came out from my mouth. I felt my chest stiffen and I woke up.
I sat up and stared at Baekhyun's window outside mine across the street. It has been a month now since the soccer field incident and the Slipping Away dreams haven’t lessened even a tiny bit since. It haunts me even when I’m awake-the more when I’m awake.
I still see him in school but I don’t actually see the Baekhyun I used to know. Seeing him really gave me a fuzzy feeling so I tried hard to not to be in the same place as him. I focused on my studies instead, and trying to be more friendly to others because I was feeling a different level of lonely.
I made this one friend named Kris for example. He’s one of the cool guys since he’s the president of our student body. He’s really smart, fashionable, kind, and on top of those, he’s even strikingly handsome! He gave the word perfection justice. Honestly, I look like the total glitch of humankind beside him but he doesn’t mind because he’s too kind to even try to act mean towards anybody. Rather than a friend, he’s more like an acquaintance to me, though, because I seldom see him around school for he’s one busy guy with huge social life.
One long day, I was out on the park with my Polaroid alone, snapping pictures of this cute old couple. They seemed like they were arguing just a minute ago then they suddenly laughed together and exchanged hugs. It really was a sight. I couldn't help but smile.
I was in the midst wondering if I’d ever get to experience growing old with someone I love, too, when I suddenly felt a hand on my shoulder.
“Hey,” he said.
I turned around and saw Kris towering over me, smiling his perfect smile. Before you get the wrong idea, let me make things clear that I am not in any way attracted to Kris. He’s handsome but I strongly believe I am a guy. It’s just that there’s no other word fit to call Kris than perfect.
“Hey,” I replied. “Why are you here?”
“I actually was on my way to your house. I just need to ask you something,” he said in a rather serious tone. I suddenly felt uneasy, or maybe just gassy. I don’t know which to be exact.
“Really? Umm, well, you found me now. What is it?” I asked, scrunching up my forehead.
“Chanyeol, you’re sweating,” he snickered, “don’t be nervous. It isn’t anything serious.”
“Oh. Sorry.” I laughed awkwardly. “So what is it?”
“It’s just Baekhyun,” he replied. A thousand things suddenly rushed to my mind as I tried to guess what connection Kris, Baekhyun and I could have. Nobody in school knows that Baekhyun and I are good friends, or used to be, so why is Kris talking to me about Baekhyun?
“Baekhyun? Wait, I can’t seem to remember his face but I am sure I heard that name before. Ah, is that the tiny guy who’s one of the Douches? Byun Baekhyun? Why?” I’ve never tried acting before so I guess my cheap acting gave me away. I almost choked on my own words, even.
“Yes…” Kris said, giving me a confused look. Kris stared at me for a while, as if waiting for me to blurt out the truth but I didn’t dare say anything. Baekhyun may be put in risk if Kris finds out he hangs out with glitches like me. Baekhyun may be kicked out from the Douches and I don’t want that. As much as I don’t like the Douches, I also don’t want Baekhyun to have no friends if they’re even fit to be called that.
“Come on, Chanyeol. I know you know him,” he rolled his eyes at me.
“Yeah, I do. I see him with the Douches. Why?”
“Oh, please. Don’t play mind games with me anymore,” he said through gritted teeth. I think he’s pissed off now, and I think he really knows the truth.
“Kris-“
“Shut up,” he interrupted, “just-here.” He handed me a folded piece of paper and walked the other way without even just a goodbye nod. I guess he really got pissed off at me, but he still looked like a ramp model walking through the park as he left.
“Jeez, he sure is one scary guy,” I whispered to myself.
I looked at the paper on my hands and my heart suddenly started beating fast as if it knows something my mind doesn't I could vaguely see the black letters from the back side of the paper. I found a bench and sat as I opened the paper slowly with shaking hands.
In messy handwriting, it read:
Park Chanyeol. When the clock strikes infinite at night,
there’s a hundred quarters at the curb.
“What is this?” I reread the words few more times but it still didn’t make sense to me.
Was Kris perhaps playing mind games with me? He just said not to play mind games with me, though, but I think that was a clue. Or maybe not. This isn’t something I have confidence in figuring out.
‘When the clock strikes infinite’ could only mean when time never stops. Time only feels infinite for me when I’m up alone in the early dawn, on the net. Should I go online then?
I looked at my wristwatch. It read a quarter past six in the evening. I grabbed my bag and literally raced to my house. I greeted mom with a kiss as I entered the house and rushed to my room in just seconds. I turned on my laptop and immediately logged into my Cyworld account to see if a message or anything that could help me would be there, but alas, there’s none to help me in my misery.
I tried searching the first phrase but no useful entries popped out. I merely stared at the paper for a good half an hour to an hour while scribbling at my pad. I turned on my speakers after some time and put it on shuffle. I thought that some music would perhaps help me through the thinking.
A familiar song suddenly played and I immediately found myself singing along with it while bobbing my head to the rhythm and doodling random things on my pad. It’s amazing how one song could actually change my mood in just a snap. I was already singing the chorus when my mental light bulb went on. I almost fell out of my chair due to excitement!
I looked at the lemniscate on my pad and rotated it. Infinite could mean the number 8 so Kris must mean 8 o’clock. I reread the sentence a couple of times more then I suddenly remembered that small hidden restaurant called The Curb which is literally at the curb in Hongdae. Baekhyun and I used to go there before (pre-Douche era) since they sold soju to minors.
I mentally punched myself for only figuring it out now. Kris even said Baekhyun’s name earlier! I should have known by then that it has something to do with him.
That’s when my last mental light bulb lit up. Baek means a hundred, and Hyun could mean a quarter. It means that Baekhyun wants me to go to The Curb at 8 pm tonight! I looked at my wristwatch and my eyes almost jumped out of their sockets! I only have 15 minutes at most to make it there on time and Hongdae is quite far from our house.
I also don’t know what to say to mom if I go out this late. I peeked my head through my bedroom door to listen to mom downstairs. I hear her typing on her keyboard so she must be busy, but that also means that any kind of noise could be easily heard since it’s eerily quiet around the house and even the neighborhood, too. I looked around in panic and found the only way out. I opened my window and threw my pillows below to cushion my jump. Good thing I needed lots of pillows to sleep.
I put on my favorite gray hoodie and some sweatpants then I put the paper and my wallet inside my back pocket. I grabbed my blanket and tied one end to my bed post and held the other end in my hands for support.
I breathed deeply and prepared myself for the jump. I counted to three and … jump! I landed safely, thanks to my fluffy pillows and bed friends. I brushed off the few patches of dirt on my pants and rushed off to get a cab somewhere since there’s no way I’d arrive on time if I get on a bus. I guess luck was finally working my way since an empty cab arrived just as I turned for the corner. I immediately got in and told the driver the directions. In roughly 10 minutes, I finally arrived at The Curb.
My heart started beating faster again, and I greeted the uneasy feeling inside me like an old friend. I went inside the small restaurant and saw Baekhyun almost instantly. He was sitting at the same spot we usually sit on. He said that that corner has the most charm in the room because of the little vintage picture frame below an old wall lamp with yellow light with an old puppy picture in it.
“Hi.”
“…”
“Baek,” I said, almost inaudible. My voice almost cracked with that one word.
“Yeol,” he said, louder than my voice but shakier.
I sat down beside him without a word. I felt the same awkward atmosphere when I’m with him again, but I guess we’re used to it now. I think he got impatient for waiting as I noticed two bottles of empty soju in front of us. He was playing with the shot glass between his hands while staring at it blankly.
I called for the waitress and ordered some meat and a bottle of soju. I decided not to drink much since at least one should remain sane here and it clear that Baekhyun’s not that person. We didn’t talk to each other for half an hour or so. We quietly drank and made ourselves get used to each other’s presence, but who were we kidding? We can never get used to each other, but that’s not such a bad thing, I guess. But it’s still weird sitting with him in a corner, drinking, after more or less a month of not acknowledging each other’s presence. It was as if we almost became strangers again.
“You sent the letter, didn’t you?” I finally asked, not looking his way because that might give away my nervousness.
“Yes,” he replied.
“Through Kris? You know him?”
“Yes.”
“From school?” It seemed to me that his tone is rather monotonous. I got the impression that he must be just bored and he can’t call out his Douche friends since they’re busy so he resorted to his weird almost-ex-friend.
“No,” he deadpanned. He also isn’t looking at me but at the glass and his fingers in front of him.
“Where else then?” I paused, “I don’t think Kris is a risk or a glitch, too, so you don’t possibly avoid him in school, right?
“Yes and no,” he replied.
I looked at him this time. His answers aren’t helping at all. They’re only making my head hurt. If he’d only called me out here just to treat me this way, why even come up with a mind-boggling riddle or something?
“Will you keep on just saying ‘yes’ or ‘no’, Baekhyun?”
“Yes. Maybe,” he put down his shot glass and drank straight from the bottle. He drank ten now.
“Well, that’s better. Another answer: maybe.” I mocked him. “I’m going. I’m tired.”
I only went to The Curb thinking that perhaps I could finally talk to a sane Baekhyun, a non-zombie eyes Baekhyun. I wasn’t prepared for the worse that’s now facing me straight in the face. I am not prepared for a self-destructing, mentally dying, and emotionally drowning Byun Baekhyun.
I already stood up when he abruptly grabs my hoodie.
“Chanyeol,” he said, “sit.”
“I AM NOT A DOG!” I shocked everyone around me and even myself. I don’t know where that emotion suddenly came from but I sure sounded angrier than ever before. Baekhyun looked at me with wide eyes, as if he just got slapped real heard or maybe even seen a ghost. He bowed his head after a moment and sighed real deep before breaking down into a fit of sobs.
This time, it was my turn to go wide-eyed. This wasn’t the reaction I expected. I expected some kind of anger from him, too, or even a punch but he just broke down and cried. He looked so helpless that moment. He’s not the cool Baekhyun I knew at all, and not even the smiling one who is my best friend.
Most of the customers started going out so Mrs. Jung, the owner, peeked from the counter and met with my eyes. She immediately recognized me. She was about to step forward to comfort Baekhyun perhaps when I shook my head no. She just nodded and gave me an apologetic look before mouthing the words, “call me if you need me.”
I sat back down and just looked at the sobbing guy beside me. His face is buried under his arms but his shoulders were shaking really bad and the sound of his sobs is deafening for me. I didn’t know whether to pat his back or hug him or tell him it is okay. I still feel the remnants of anger inside me so I didn’t really feel that good to comfort him.
We stayed like that for a few minutes: him sobbing like he’s dying and me awkwardly sitting there, helpless.
“Baekhyun-“
“We all do. We do. I tried. I tried so hard, Chanyeol,” he said in between sobs. He looked up at me and I wanted to look away because he looked so fragile and in pain. I didn’t know if I was the reason or not. All I know is that nothing is right, and Baekhyun was everything but coherent that moment. I didn’t know what to respond.
“I tried slipping away from you but you always pull me back,” he continued, “I-I’m tired Chanyeol. I am. You make me risk everything I’ve built up all these years. All these barriers.”
Slipping away in the sense of physically and maybe emotionally avoiding me is his idea of slipping away. I already know that he doesn't like being with me but hearing that now made my inside hurt so much like I’m being punched in the gut. I am his bad luck. I am the glitch. I am the risk.
“I know,” I mumbled, “I know, Baek. I know I am a risk. I’m so-“
“No! Shut up. You don’t know anything!” he cried out, and out went the last group of customers. Mrs. Jung didn’t send us away still. She went upstairs and left us there alone after turning the ‘OPEN’ sign over.
“ You've had too much, Baek. Let’s go home,” I said, trying to swallow back my tears.
“You know what? You are such a freakin’ risk because love is!” It seemed like he spat the word, love, at me like it’s such a dirty word. Tears started falling like a never-ending waterfalls down his cheeks. He gulped the remaining soju in one go and grabbed another one which I took before he had the chance to place it on his lips.
“You’re not making sense anymore. You’re drunk,” I looked away, trying to sound firm but somewhat failing. I stood up and waited for him to stand. I towered over him so that might give me more credit for being the superior one. I got angry and confused at the same time, the mixed emotions felt real badly inside me.
“Do I really need to? All I need now is … you.” He suddenly stood up and wrapped his arms around my neck and cried really hard on my shoulder, somewhat bringing me down. I just stood frozen. I needed absorbing time and I guess he wasn't in for giving me any.
“Let’s go home, Baek,” I whispered in his ear as he tried to catch for breath.
“But I am home,” he whispered back, holding me tighter.
“Baekhyun-“I tried to say it isn’t right, or maybe it is but I’m not ready and I’m afraid to try, but part of me wanted to stay there and think of nothing else.
“Baek, try to breathe. Come on. Follow my breaths.” I said, rubbing his back.
Just like that, we listened to each other’s breathing and feeling each other’s presence. All of a sudden, I felt a familiar feeling I’ve had before. It’s the Buzz. I thought it already faded but I guess it will never cease to exist.
After some time, Baekhyun finally calmed down a little.
“Chanyeol, I just need you to answer this one thing,” he whispered. He broke loose from our hug and stared at me in the eyes. I waited for him to talk, and as I wait, I realized that Baekhyun’s not just my best friend. He’s more than that.
“Love is a risk,” he whispered, “are you willing to take the risk?”
Author: eunhaemaniac
Pairing: Baekhyun/Chanyeol
Length: 7300+ words
Summary: I am the glitch and he is the sunshine.
We all slip away sometimes," he whispered in my ears. I tried to ask him why but no voice came out from my mouth. I felt my chest stiffen and I woke up.
I sat up and stared at Baekhyun's window outside mine across the street. It has been a month now since the soccer field incident and the Slipping Away dreams haven’t lessened even a tiny bit since. It haunts me even when I’m awake-the more when I’m awake.
I still see him in school but I don’t actually see the Baekhyun I used to know. Seeing him really gave me a fuzzy feeling so I tried hard to not to be in the same place as him. I focused on my studies instead, and trying to be more friendly to others because I was feeling a different level of lonely.
I made this one friend named Kris for example. He’s one of the cool guys since he’s the president of our student body. He’s really smart, fashionable, kind, and on top of those, he’s even strikingly handsome! He gave the word perfection justice. Honestly, I look like the total glitch of humankind beside him but he doesn’t mind because he’s too kind to even try to act mean towards anybody. Rather than a friend, he’s more like an acquaintance to me, though, because I seldom see him around school for he’s one busy guy with huge social life.
One long day, I was out on the park with my Polaroid alone, snapping pictures of this cute old couple. They seemed like they were arguing just a minute ago then they suddenly laughed together and exchanged hugs. It really was a sight. I couldn't help but smile.
I was in the midst wondering if I’d ever get to experience growing old with someone I love, too, when I suddenly felt a hand on my shoulder.
“Hey,” he said.
I turned around and saw Kris towering over me, smiling his perfect smile. Before you get the wrong idea, let me make things clear that I am not in any way attracted to Kris. He’s handsome but I strongly believe I am a guy. It’s just that there’s no other word fit to call Kris than perfect.
“Hey,” I replied. “Why are you here?”
“I actually was on my way to your house. I just need to ask you something,” he said in a rather serious tone. I suddenly felt uneasy, or maybe just gassy. I don’t know which to be exact.
“Really? Umm, well, you found me now. What is it?” I asked, scrunching up my forehead.
“Chanyeol, you’re sweating,” he snickered, “don’t be nervous. It isn’t anything serious.”
“Oh. Sorry.” I laughed awkwardly. “So what is it?”
“It’s just Baekhyun,” he replied. A thousand things suddenly rushed to my mind as I tried to guess what connection Kris, Baekhyun and I could have. Nobody in school knows that Baekhyun and I are good friends, or used to be, so why is Kris talking to me about Baekhyun?
“Baekhyun? Wait, I can’t seem to remember his face but I am sure I heard that name before. Ah, is that the tiny guy who’s one of the Douches? Byun Baekhyun? Why?” I’ve never tried acting before so I guess my cheap acting gave me away. I almost choked on my own words, even.
“Yes…” Kris said, giving me a confused look. Kris stared at me for a while, as if waiting for me to blurt out the truth but I didn’t dare say anything. Baekhyun may be put in risk if Kris finds out he hangs out with glitches like me. Baekhyun may be kicked out from the Douches and I don’t want that. As much as I don’t like the Douches, I also don’t want Baekhyun to have no friends if they’re even fit to be called that.
“Come on, Chanyeol. I know you know him,” he rolled his eyes at me.
“Yeah, I do. I see him with the Douches. Why?”
“Oh, please. Don’t play mind games with me anymore,” he said through gritted teeth. I think he’s pissed off now, and I think he really knows the truth.
“Kris-“
“Shut up,” he interrupted, “just-here.” He handed me a folded piece of paper and walked the other way without even just a goodbye nod. I guess he really got pissed off at me, but he still looked like a ramp model walking through the park as he left.
“Jeez, he sure is one scary guy,” I whispered to myself.
I looked at the paper on my hands and my heart suddenly started beating fast as if it knows something my mind doesn't I could vaguely see the black letters from the back side of the paper. I found a bench and sat as I opened the paper slowly with shaking hands.
In messy handwriting, it read:
Park Chanyeol. When the clock strikes infinite at night,
there’s a hundred quarters at the curb.
“What is this?” I reread the words few more times but it still didn’t make sense to me.
Was Kris perhaps playing mind games with me? He just said not to play mind games with me, though, but I think that was a clue. Or maybe not. This isn’t something I have confidence in figuring out.
‘When the clock strikes infinite’ could only mean when time never stops. Time only feels infinite for me when I’m up alone in the early dawn, on the net. Should I go online then?
I looked at my wristwatch. It read a quarter past six in the evening. I grabbed my bag and literally raced to my house. I greeted mom with a kiss as I entered the house and rushed to my room in just seconds. I turned on my laptop and immediately logged into my Cyworld account to see if a message or anything that could help me would be there, but alas, there’s none to help me in my misery.
I tried searching the first phrase but no useful entries popped out. I merely stared at the paper for a good half an hour to an hour while scribbling at my pad. I turned on my speakers after some time and put it on shuffle. I thought that some music would perhaps help me through the thinking.
A familiar song suddenly played and I immediately found myself singing along with it while bobbing my head to the rhythm and doodling random things on my pad. It’s amazing how one song could actually change my mood in just a snap. I was already singing the chorus when my mental light bulb went on. I almost fell out of my chair due to excitement!
I looked at the lemniscate on my pad and rotated it. Infinite could mean the number 8 so Kris must mean 8 o’clock. I reread the sentence a couple of times more then I suddenly remembered that small hidden restaurant called The Curb which is literally at the curb in Hongdae. Baekhyun and I used to go there before (pre-Douche era) since they sold soju to minors.
I mentally punched myself for only figuring it out now. Kris even said Baekhyun’s name earlier! I should have known by then that it has something to do with him.
That’s when my last mental light bulb lit up. Baek means a hundred, and Hyun could mean a quarter. It means that Baekhyun wants me to go to The Curb at 8 pm tonight! I looked at my wristwatch and my eyes almost jumped out of their sockets! I only have 15 minutes at most to make it there on time and Hongdae is quite far from our house.
I also don’t know what to say to mom if I go out this late. I peeked my head through my bedroom door to listen to mom downstairs. I hear her typing on her keyboard so she must be busy, but that also means that any kind of noise could be easily heard since it’s eerily quiet around the house and even the neighborhood, too. I looked around in panic and found the only way out. I opened my window and threw my pillows below to cushion my jump. Good thing I needed lots of pillows to sleep.
I put on my favorite gray hoodie and some sweatpants then I put the paper and my wallet inside my back pocket. I grabbed my blanket and tied one end to my bed post and held the other end in my hands for support.
I breathed deeply and prepared myself for the jump. I counted to three and … jump! I landed safely, thanks to my fluffy pillows and bed friends. I brushed off the few patches of dirt on my pants and rushed off to get a cab somewhere since there’s no way I’d arrive on time if I get on a bus. I guess luck was finally working my way since an empty cab arrived just as I turned for the corner. I immediately got in and told the driver the directions. In roughly 10 minutes, I finally arrived at The Curb.
My heart started beating faster again, and I greeted the uneasy feeling inside me like an old friend. I went inside the small restaurant and saw Baekhyun almost instantly. He was sitting at the same spot we usually sit on. He said that that corner has the most charm in the room because of the little vintage picture frame below an old wall lamp with yellow light with an old puppy picture in it.
“Hi.”
“…”
“Baek,” I said, almost inaudible. My voice almost cracked with that one word.
“Yeol,” he said, louder than my voice but shakier.
I sat down beside him without a word. I felt the same awkward atmosphere when I’m with him again, but I guess we’re used to it now. I think he got impatient for waiting as I noticed two bottles of empty soju in front of us. He was playing with the shot glass between his hands while staring at it blankly.
I called for the waitress and ordered some meat and a bottle of soju. I decided not to drink much since at least one should remain sane here and it clear that Baekhyun’s not that person. We didn’t talk to each other for half an hour or so. We quietly drank and made ourselves get used to each other’s presence, but who were we kidding? We can never get used to each other, but that’s not such a bad thing, I guess. But it’s still weird sitting with him in a corner, drinking, after more or less a month of not acknowledging each other’s presence. It was as if we almost became strangers again.
“You sent the letter, didn’t you?” I finally asked, not looking his way because that might give away my nervousness.
“Yes,” he replied.
“Through Kris? You know him?”
“Yes.”
“From school?” It seemed to me that his tone is rather monotonous. I got the impression that he must be just bored and he can’t call out his Douche friends since they’re busy so he resorted to his weird almost-ex-friend.
“No,” he deadpanned. He also isn’t looking at me but at the glass and his fingers in front of him.
“Where else then?” I paused, “I don’t think Kris is a risk or a glitch, too, so you don’t possibly avoid him in school, right?
“Yes and no,” he replied.
I looked at him this time. His answers aren’t helping at all. They’re only making my head hurt. If he’d only called me out here just to treat me this way, why even come up with a mind-boggling riddle or something?
“Will you keep on just saying ‘yes’ or ‘no’, Baekhyun?”
“Yes. Maybe,” he put down his shot glass and drank straight from the bottle. He drank ten now.
“Well, that’s better. Another answer: maybe.” I mocked him. “I’m going. I’m tired.”
I only went to The Curb thinking that perhaps I could finally talk to a sane Baekhyun, a non-zombie eyes Baekhyun. I wasn’t prepared for the worse that’s now facing me straight in the face. I am not prepared for a self-destructing, mentally dying, and emotionally drowning Byun Baekhyun.
I already stood up when he abruptly grabs my hoodie.
“Chanyeol,” he said, “sit.”
“I AM NOT A DOG!” I shocked everyone around me and even myself. I don’t know where that emotion suddenly came from but I sure sounded angrier than ever before. Baekhyun looked at me with wide eyes, as if he just got slapped real heard or maybe even seen a ghost. He bowed his head after a moment and sighed real deep before breaking down into a fit of sobs.
This time, it was my turn to go wide-eyed. This wasn’t the reaction I expected. I expected some kind of anger from him, too, or even a punch but he just broke down and cried. He looked so helpless that moment. He’s not the cool Baekhyun I knew at all, and not even the smiling one who is my best friend.
Most of the customers started going out so Mrs. Jung, the owner, peeked from the counter and met with my eyes. She immediately recognized me. She was about to step forward to comfort Baekhyun perhaps when I shook my head no. She just nodded and gave me an apologetic look before mouthing the words, “call me if you need me.”
I sat back down and just looked at the sobbing guy beside me. His face is buried under his arms but his shoulders were shaking really bad and the sound of his sobs is deafening for me. I didn’t know whether to pat his back or hug him or tell him it is okay. I still feel the remnants of anger inside me so I didn’t really feel that good to comfort him.
We stayed like that for a few minutes: him sobbing like he’s dying and me awkwardly sitting there, helpless.
“Baekhyun-“
“We all do. We do. I tried. I tried so hard, Chanyeol,” he said in between sobs. He looked up at me and I wanted to look away because he looked so fragile and in pain. I didn’t know if I was the reason or not. All I know is that nothing is right, and Baekhyun was everything but coherent that moment. I didn’t know what to respond.
“I tried slipping away from you but you always pull me back,” he continued, “I-I’m tired Chanyeol. I am. You make me risk everything I’ve built up all these years. All these barriers.”
Slipping away in the sense of physically and maybe emotionally avoiding me is his idea of slipping away. I already know that he doesn't like being with me but hearing that now made my inside hurt so much like I’m being punched in the gut. I am his bad luck. I am the glitch. I am the risk.
“I know,” I mumbled, “I know, Baek. I know I am a risk. I’m so-“
“No! Shut up. You don’t know anything!” he cried out, and out went the last group of customers. Mrs. Jung didn’t send us away still. She went upstairs and left us there alone after turning the ‘OPEN’ sign over.
“ You've had too much, Baek. Let’s go home,” I said, trying to swallow back my tears.
“You know what? You are such a freakin’ risk because love is!” It seemed like he spat the word, love, at me like it’s such a dirty word. Tears started falling like a never-ending waterfalls down his cheeks. He gulped the remaining soju in one go and grabbed another one which I took before he had the chance to place it on his lips.
“You’re not making sense anymore. You’re drunk,” I looked away, trying to sound firm but somewhat failing. I stood up and waited for him to stand. I towered over him so that might give me more credit for being the superior one. I got angry and confused at the same time, the mixed emotions felt real badly inside me.
“Do I really need to? All I need now is … you.” He suddenly stood up and wrapped his arms around my neck and cried really hard on my shoulder, somewhat bringing me down. I just stood frozen. I needed absorbing time and I guess he wasn't in for giving me any.
“Let’s go home, Baek,” I whispered in his ear as he tried to catch for breath.
“But I am home,” he whispered back, holding me tighter.
“Baekhyun-“I tried to say it isn’t right, or maybe it is but I’m not ready and I’m afraid to try, but part of me wanted to stay there and think of nothing else.
“Baek, try to breathe. Come on. Follow my breaths.” I said, rubbing his back.
Just like that, we listened to each other’s breathing and feeling each other’s presence. All of a sudden, I felt a familiar feeling I’ve had before. It’s the Buzz. I thought it already faded but I guess it will never cease to exist.
After some time, Baekhyun finally calmed down a little.
“Chanyeol, I just need you to answer this one thing,” he whispered. He broke loose from our hug and stared at me in the eyes. I waited for him to talk, and as I wait, I realized that Baekhyun’s not just my best friend. He’s more than that.
“Love is a risk,” he whispered, “are you willing to take the risk?”