Powerful television
I am amazed sometimes as to how things that seem innocuous affect us in strange ways. This is mostly for vathan who I hope will share his own feelings on the whole thing, but all I can do is comment for myself.
We were watching House on Monday night. For those of you who saw it, it was a surprisingly shocking one. Partly for the obvious reason (if you haven’t seen it, there isn’t much of a spoiler, but a bit) but mostly because of how they handled it. The vast majority of TV shows come up with some outrageous thing to put their characters through to leave you with some kind of cliffhanger, or to boost ratings. They treat it like what it is, entertainment. It’s shocking, it dramatic, it’s over the top and it’s easy to be entertained because it’s so unrealistic. However, in this weeks House, they did the shocking and the dramatic, but it was real. It was a real assessment of how people deal with tragedy and grief. It was a case study in how 6 people handle the sudden loss of a close friend. 6 distinct methods of dealing with grief. And what was so amazing about it, is if you have ever been through something like that, you can identify with one of the 6 characters. Somebody in that writing staff went through this. Somebody used the mental analysis of their friends and the people around them to cope with their own grief (that was Wilson in this show) and put that experience on Monday night television.
Me? I was House. I delved headfirst into it and tried to figure it out. Make sense of the senseless as they say. It was a mystery that needed to be solved. That was my way of closure. I rifled through notebooks and drawings and talked to police and found friends and searched for family. I wanted to be part of what solved the mystery. I replayed every conversation, every look, every word. Did she start to give away things she cared about? Did she start to say goodbye to people inappropriately? In the episode Wilson accuses House of not really caring about Cutner’s death, but caring about if he missed seeing it coming. That especially struck me. I asked myself the same question and agonized over every detail of the last 6 months to see if I missed a sign. Could I have stopped it? Should I have said this or that or if I had just done this she would be here now. Or she would’ve felt comfortable talking to me about it. After awhile I absolved myself of any of that kind of guilt, but it was a process.
Erik? He was Taub. He just dove headfirst into work, into the band, into his own things going on. He didn’t cry. He didn’t really get too involved, he just kept doing things. He kept moving.
Peter? He was Formon. He took a bunch of time off of work, he withdrew completely from friends, from the situation and dealt with it alone. He stopped moving.
Were any of them better than any of the others? No, none of them are better. Some are faster, some are healthier, some bring you closer to others, some make you get further away. But better? No. All of them are appropriate. It will be interesting to see how the psychological experiment goes during the course of the show. Who will come out of this the healthiest? Who won’t come out of it at all? Who will carry this as baggage for years, and who will use it as a symbol of strength? Pretty deep stuff for a stupid TV show.
The whole thing has had a profound effect on both Erik and I, and it’s rare that a stupid TV show has that kind of staying power. It’s rare that a stupid TV show can make me cry, and can continue to make me cry 2 days later if I think about it too hard. I fear if I ever see that actor in another show, it’s going to bring it all flooding back.
Just had to get it off my chest.
How did my psychological experiment come out? I think I came out pretty well. Do I think about it daily? No. Have I carried some kind of baggage with me? Probably a little, but mostly just to keep aware of people around me; don’t be afraid to tell people you care about them. Let them know that they are important to you. If they get weirded out, it’s their problem. Not mine. I just reached into their little sphere of existence and waved hello. It’s a sad state of society when people feel more comfortable telling each other to piss off then telling each other that you care. I am glad the brunt of it is over. I am glad that I don’t have to answer anymore questions, or look at anymore stuff. I’m glad her smell is finally out of my house and out of her painting. I’m glad that I don’t have to testify at the trial. I’m glad I don’t have to follow the trial.
I’m glad to be done.
We were watching House on Monday night. For those of you who saw it, it was a surprisingly shocking one. Partly for the obvious reason (if you haven’t seen it, there isn’t much of a spoiler, but a bit) but mostly because of how they handled it. The vast majority of TV shows come up with some outrageous thing to put their characters through to leave you with some kind of cliffhanger, or to boost ratings. They treat it like what it is, entertainment. It’s shocking, it dramatic, it’s over the top and it’s easy to be entertained because it’s so unrealistic. However, in this weeks House, they did the shocking and the dramatic, but it was real. It was a real assessment of how people deal with tragedy and grief. It was a case study in how 6 people handle the sudden loss of a close friend. 6 distinct methods of dealing with grief. And what was so amazing about it, is if you have ever been through something like that, you can identify with one of the 6 characters. Somebody in that writing staff went through this. Somebody used the mental analysis of their friends and the people around them to cope with their own grief (that was Wilson in this show) and put that experience on Monday night television.
Me? I was House. I delved headfirst into it and tried to figure it out. Make sense of the senseless as they say. It was a mystery that needed to be solved. That was my way of closure. I rifled through notebooks and drawings and talked to police and found friends and searched for family. I wanted to be part of what solved the mystery. I replayed every conversation, every look, every word. Did she start to give away things she cared about? Did she start to say goodbye to people inappropriately? In the episode Wilson accuses House of not really caring about Cutner’s death, but caring about if he missed seeing it coming. That especially struck me. I asked myself the same question and agonized over every detail of the last 6 months to see if I missed a sign. Could I have stopped it? Should I have said this or that or if I had just done this she would be here now. Or she would’ve felt comfortable talking to me about it. After awhile I absolved myself of any of that kind of guilt, but it was a process.
Erik? He was Taub. He just dove headfirst into work, into the band, into his own things going on. He didn’t cry. He didn’t really get too involved, he just kept doing things. He kept moving.
Peter? He was Formon. He took a bunch of time off of work, he withdrew completely from friends, from the situation and dealt with it alone. He stopped moving.
Were any of them better than any of the others? No, none of them are better. Some are faster, some are healthier, some bring you closer to others, some make you get further away. But better? No. All of them are appropriate. It will be interesting to see how the psychological experiment goes during the course of the show. Who will come out of this the healthiest? Who won’t come out of it at all? Who will carry this as baggage for years, and who will use it as a symbol of strength? Pretty deep stuff for a stupid TV show.
The whole thing has had a profound effect on both Erik and I, and it’s rare that a stupid TV show has that kind of staying power. It’s rare that a stupid TV show can make me cry, and can continue to make me cry 2 days later if I think about it too hard. I fear if I ever see that actor in another show, it’s going to bring it all flooding back.
Just had to get it off my chest.
How did my psychological experiment come out? I think I came out pretty well. Do I think about it daily? No. Have I carried some kind of baggage with me? Probably a little, but mostly just to keep aware of people around me; don’t be afraid to tell people you care about them. Let them know that they are important to you. If they get weirded out, it’s their problem. Not mine. I just reached into their little sphere of existence and waved hello. It’s a sad state of society when people feel more comfortable telling each other to piss off then telling each other that you care. I am glad the brunt of it is over. I am glad that I don’t have to answer anymore questions, or look at anymore stuff. I’m glad her smell is finally out of my house and out of her painting. I’m glad that I don’t have to testify at the trial. I’m glad I don’t have to follow the trial.
I’m glad to be done.