(no subject)
So apparently I'm using my legs as a canvas again. It took me four days to set my progress back three years. I had gotten to the point where I only allowed myself to cut a tiny area on my stomach over and over again, but this feels so much better. I'm sick and I should have gone to bed hours ago, but I still have an English paper to write. The topic isn't a difficult one, but I'm having trouble connecting with it-- irrational and desperate thoughts keep intruding. That's why I had to hurt myself: to control the impulse to self-destruct and concentrate instead on self-preservation.